


Loving You's The Antidote || l.s.

by twinklingpisces



Category: One Direction (Band)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:20:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 41,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29400417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twinklingpisces/pseuds/twinklingpisces
Summary: Harry Styles, a 16 year old boy, attends Holmes Chapel Comprehensive School. Unfortunately for him, his time there isn't exactly smooth sailing.Louis Tomlinson bullies Harry. As do the majority of the school. It's not something Harry deserves, but it's something he is unable to escape.Whether he's at home, or at school, someone is always taunting him.Will Harry ever find a way to stop the pain? Will Louis realise his actions have consequences?//I mean no disrespect to anyone by writing this.⚠️TRIGGER WARNING: abuse, bullying, self harm, homophobia, mentions of suicide, unhealthy eating habits⚠️
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

"Well, well, well. Look what we have here boys." Louis smirked at the curly headed boy who was perched on the grass. "Jesus Christ, the fairy is making a fucking flower crown. How gay is that?" He sneered, Zayn, Liam and Stan laughing.

"It's for my mum." Harry replied in a small voice as he tensed up.

"Awe how cute." Louis reached down, snatching it from his hands and tearing it into pieces.

"No-" Harry gasped, covering his mouth immediately.

"What was that, Styles?"

"N-nothing."

"Don't fucking lie to me. You know where that gets you."

"I-I'm sorry-"

Louis rolled his eyes, kicking Harry in the ribs, hard. Harry yelped, squeezing his eyes shut as the kicks kept coming, not just from Louis, but from Stan, Zayn and Liam as well.

As soon as the bell went they scurried off, leaving Harry on the grass as he tried to catch his breath.

"Mr Styles! Get to class this instant!" Harry's head snapped up as a teacher glared at him.

"Yes sir, sorry sir." He murmured, hauling himself up and trudging to class.

He stood there for a second, trying to muster up enough courage to enter the classroom, however, he knew that wouldn't happen so he instead knocked, entering the classroom before he could think twice about it.

He kept his head down as he felt all of the eyes on him, whispering to eachother as he took a seat at his desk.

"Harry, you're late." His teacher frowned.

"I know, I'm sorry sir. I didn't hear the bell." He lied, fiddling with his hands.

"Very well, make sure it doesn't happen again."

Harry nodded, shrinking back into his chair.

As soon as the bell rung out, Harry rushed out of the classroom, making his way quickly to the graveyard. Once he arrived, he slumped down in front of his mother's grave, tracing his finger over the words.

"Happy birthday, I'm sorry mummy." He sighed, "I-I did make you a flower crown, I promise. But it broke. 'm going to make another one and bring it to you after work. School still wasn't any better today, Louis and his friends picked on me again, and I was late for class. Everyone stared at me. I almost had a panic attack in front of the whole class. I wish you were still here mummy." He cried, "I miss you so much. Um, I-I have to go to work now. But I promise I'll bring you another flower crown later. I love you."

He wiped away his tears, standing up slowly before heading to work. He pushed the door open, pressing his lips together at the familiar jingling.

"Ah Harry, you're here."

"Hi Paul." Harry managed a small smile.

"What are those flowers for?" Paul gestured to the bunch a flowers in Harry's hand.

"It's my mum's birthday. I need to make her a flower crown, it's something I've done every year."

Paul nodded understandingly. "Have you had anything to eat today?"

"I had an apple."

"Come on, you can have something to eat then get changed and start your shift." He sighed.

"Thank you." Harry mumbled.

"What do you fancy today then? Cheese and tomato baguette?"

"Yes please." Harry nodded gratefully, "you don't have to feed me you know."

"Harry, you're a growing boy. You have to eat."

"Um, would I be able to take on an extra shift? In the mornings before school."

"No, no way." Paul shook his head firmly.

"Why not?"

"Because you're overworking yourself. You already work here for the maximum amount of hours and you work somewhere else on top."

"But I need the money..."

"I'm sorry Harry. I wish I could help but I can't. You can't work anymore hours here."

"Okay." He would just have to get another job in the mornings. 

//

"Styles? What are you doing here?" Louis looked him up and down as he stood at the counter.

"I work here." 

"How'd your mum react to the flower crown?" He sneered.

"I'm making her another one." Harry told him.

"God, you're so weird."

"It's her birthday."

"Just get her chocolates or something like any normal person."

"It's not like she'd eat them." He muttered, "what do you want?"

"Just get me 2 chocolate doughnuts and 3 of those brownies. Don't look at me like that, they're for my sisters, I'm not a pig."

"Sorry." Harry rushed to get the food together, placing the bag on the counter. "Um that will be £5.20."

Louis slid the money to him, taking the bag and walking out of the door.

"Harry? Are you alright? You look stressed."

"I'm fine."

"Tell me what's bothering you."

"It's just that it's getting dark and I still need to give my mum the flower crown."

"Look, go and see her. You can finish your shift earlier and make it up sometime during the week."

"Thank you. Thank you so much." Harry took his apron off, placing it on his hook before grabbing his bag and flowers and heading back to the graveyard.

"Hi mum, Paul let me off work early. I didn't have time to make the flower crown before I came here so I'm just going to sit here and make it. I asked about working extra shifts but he said no so I'm going to have to find another job." Harry sighed, "I'm going to be working 3 jobs. I know they're only part time and I shouldn't be complaining but I just want some time to do normal things sometimes. Anyway, um I should probably go. Uncle John will be mad if I'm not home in time. I love you, happy birthday." He placed the flower crown down gently on her grave before standing up and brushing his hands off.

He bit his lip as he looked up at the awful house in front of him. It was in desperate need of a fresh coat of paint as patches of grey had clearly taken over the peeling white. The front garden was overgrown, so overgrown that the path could hardly be seen, and the windows were grimy. This is what happened when he had to work all of the time. He had no time to look after the house.

He gently unlocked the front door, creeping inside.

"Harry! Come here." Harry winced, turning to face his uncle. "Where the fuck do you think you're going?"

"To my room."

"Don't get smart with me boy." His uncle stormed over, grabbing his hair and yanking his head to look up at him. Harry screwed his nose up as the stench of alcohol flooded his nostrils. "I want you to tidy the kitchen, and on Sunday you can sort out the front of the house. We don't want people thinking something's up, do we?"

"N-no. B-but um I have a test tomorrow that I really need to study for...I-"

"Shut up!" He shoved him against the wall. "I don't fucking care if you have a test. Go and clean the fucking kitchen, got it?"

"Y-yes uncle." Harry nodded quickly, scurrying away. He'd gotten off easily that time, luckily. 

What a fucking tragic life he lived.


	2. Chapter 2

"For fuck's sake you lazy fucking faggot!" Harry awoke with a start. He looked around him, realising he had fallen asleep on the kitchen floor. "None of this is fucking clean!"

"I-I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to fall asleep..." Harry looked up anxiously.

"You will be fucking sorry." His uncle slammed Harry's head against the cabinet as Harry tried to stand up.

"P-please don't...I have school-"

"Well you'll just have to be late, this is your fault!"

"But I can't, I'll get a detention and then I w-won't be able to work and-"

"Shut up!" He groaned, "just shut up! Your voice is so fucking annoying."

Harry glanced at him as he placed a hand on the back of his head gently. He winced at the stinging sensation, grimacing at the scarlet droplets on his fingertip.

"Can I please go and get ready for school? I'll clean the kitchen after work, I promise." He mumbled.

"If you don't, you know what will happen."

Harry nodded, squeezing his eyes shut at his throbbing headache. "Yes, I know."

"Good." 

Harry stood up, trudging upstairs into his room. He pulled his uniform out of his bag, quickly showering before pulling it on. 

//

"Fucking hell." Louis laughed, leaning against his locker as Harry walked through the door, "what's a tramp doing here?"

Harry ignored him, opening his own locker and taking out his books. He jumped as his locker was slammed shut on his hand, letting out a small yelp. "Shit!"

"Awe, what's wrong?" Louis pouted.

"N-nothing." 

"When was the last time you showered?"

"This morning." He replied quietly.

"Well you look like a tramp." Harry looked down, closing his eyes. "God, what's wrong with you? Why are you so quiet? And why do you look like a tramp?"

Harry ignored him yet again, walking to class.

"Ah ah, Harry don't sit down yet. We have a new seating plan. Let me have a look where you are...ah, here we go. You're on the back table with Louis, Zayn and Niall."

Harry froze, Louis, Zayn, Liam and Stan had bullied Harry since Year 7, and he was now Year 11. However, the bullying had increased when Harry had come out just over a year ago, a few months after his mum had passed away. He had told his mother just before she died, but had come out everyone else afterwards. That was when things had been better. His uncle hadn't started to abuse him, and he had still worked. The bullying had been more of a teasing back then.

"Harry, are you alright?"

"Y-yes, sorry sir."

"Go and sit down, the rest of the class will be here soon."

Harry nodded, sitting down, tapping his foot against the floor and playing with his hands.

"Mr Tomlinson, Mr Malik and Mr Horan, you're sat on the back table with Mr Styles."

"Oh fuck's sake!" Louis groaned.

"Language!"

"Do I have to sit with that freak?"

"Yes, Mr Tomlinson, you do. And be nice."

Louis rolled his eyes, sitting down next to Harry and kicking him under the table. Zayn and Niall took their seats opposite.

"So, curly, what did your mum say about the flower crown?"

Harry didn't answer.

"Oi, curly. I'm talking to you."

"She liked it." Harry mumbled.

"Are you sure she's not just saying that? I mean, how lame is a flower crown?"

"I've made her one every year for her birthday, it's a sort of tradition."

"Fucking weirdo." Zayn laughed.

"Oh, leave him alone. It's not like he's done anything wrong."

"He's a fucking fag. And a freak. He's ugly and weird." 

"No he's not."

"Please don't." Harry told Niall. If Niall stuck up for him then Niall was bound to get bullied as well. "I'm not worth it."

"You're correct there Styles, you're worthless."

"Boys, enough talking! Anyway, as I was saying. You're going to have a project to work on. You'll be in pairs but don't get too excited. I've put all your names in a hat and one at a time I want you to come and pick one out. Louis, you're first."

Louis ambled up to the front, picking a name out of the hat. "Nope, no way."

"Who is it?"

"Harry. There's no way I'm working with him. Absolutely no way. Can I pick again?"

"Nope, you're working with Harry. That's final."

"Good luck." Someone laughed from the front of the class. "Try not to get a disease."

"Miss Calder, that's enough of that thank you." The teacher scolded, before calling the next person up.

Harry's leg was bouncing quickly now, he was looking around urgently, desperate to escape from the room which suddenly felt tiny.

"What the hell is going on with him?" Louis asked Zayn who just shrugged.

"Dunno, probably attention seeking."

"Oi Styles, come over to mine after school tomorrow."

Harry's head snapped to Louis, "I-I can't."

"I'm not asking you. We have a project to do so you're coming over."

"B-but I have work-"

"Does it look like I care?"

"Is there a problem?" Their English teacher stood in front of them.

"I-I don't have time to do the project outside of school, I have work." Harry bit his lip, scratching at his wrists under the table.

"Well I'm afraid you'll have to skip it."

"I can't..."

"You're going to have to."

"Please may I go to the bathroom?" He asked urgently.

"Yes, don't take too long."

Harry forced a small smile, uttering a meek "thank you", before rushing out of the classroom.

Once in the bathroom he locked himself in the stall, bringing his knees up to his chest and crying into them as he yanked at his hair. He was barely getting enough money as it was, let alone with less shifts. Every hour counted. And his uncles demands to tidy up the house were increasing every day. Everything was too much for him.

Once his breakdown had subsided, he left the bathroom, returning to class.

"Has little Hazzy Wazzy being crying?" Louis taunted. 

Harry ignored him, putting his hand up. The teacher walked over, asking him what was wrong.

"Please can I go home? I don't feel good." He mumbled. 

"Um, yeah, let me just call your-"

"They won't answer." Harry cut him off, "please don't. Um, I'll let them know why myself."

"Alright. But you need to sign out on your way out."

"Thank you." Harry picked his bag up, swinging it over his shoulder before walking out of class again.

//

"Harry? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at school?" The boss of his second job, Steve, asked.

"Um no, I have the day off. I just need to ask you something."

"Okay?"

"Would I be able to work here in the mornings before school? I mean on top of what I already do."

"Are you sure? Won't that be too much?"

"I need the money, and I have a project to do for school so I won't be able to come to work sometimes. I've tried to get out of it, honestly. But I can't." 

"Okay, um yeah. Of course. What time?"

"Would 6-8:30 be alright? School starts at 9."

"Yeah, yeah. Sounds good."

"Um also, is there anything I can do here until 4? I need to make up for the hours I'm missing."

"There's some stuff for you to do out back."

"Thank you so much." Harry nodded gratefully. "I'll start right away."


	3. Chapter 3

"Harry, it's 5 to 4." Steve called from around the corner.

Harry rushed to gather his things. "Thank you again Steve, um I have to go, bye."

Without another word he left, jogging to Paul's bakery. He waved at Paul as he pulled on his apron, standing behind the counter. 

"Harry?" Shit. It was his English teacher.

"Um, hello sir."

"You shouldn't be working Harry."

"I have to, I-I can't not work. I already have to miss shifts for the project." He mumbled.

"It won't hurt to take a day off. Anyway, I'll just have a cottage loaf please."

"O-okay... that'll be £1.60. Thank you, have a good day."

"You too, Mr Styles."

"Who was that?" Harry jumped at the voice behind him, he turned around to face Paul. 

"Oh, it was just my English teacher."

"What did he mean about not working?"

"Um, I may have asked to be sent home earlier today. I said I didn't feel good, which was true, it's just not illness."

"Why didn't you feel good?"

"It's nothing, I was just overwhelmed." He admitted.

"You know you can just talk to me if you need to reduce your shifts."

"No, I can't do that. I-I'm fine."

"Really?"

"Honestly. It's alright."

//

"Jesus Christ Styles, hurry up!" Louis sighed. They were on their way back to Louis's house to do the project, however Harry was finding it hard to keep up with Louis. When Harry's uncle had found out he skipped school yesterday, he made made sure that Harry had gotten punished for it, the kicks and slams against the wall had hurt his ankle and he was now walking with a limp. 

It didn't help that Louis and his little gang had beaten Harry up twice that day. Just for existing, of course.

To top off the pain, Harry's wrists itched like hell. After his lovely interaction with his uncle, he had somehow ended up on the bathroom floor with 20 new cuts littered across his wrists.

"Sorry." He replied, trying to quicken his pace.

Louis suddenly stopped, walking into a driveway. "Well don't just stand there, we're here."

"Oh." Harry hadn't realised. He followed Louis inside, looking around at the house. It was lovely, it was rather big but had a cosy, family vibe.

"Lou Lou!" Two identical girls ran up to him, they looked about 6 and Harry could immediately tell they were related to Louis.

"Hey Daisy, hey Phoebe." Louis crouched down, hugging them both.

"Lot Lots sad." One of them pouted.

"Lottie's sad? Why?" He lifted his head up, looking into what Harry assumed was the kitchen.

"Connor broke up with her." A new voice called before a head appeared around the corner. "Oh, who's this?"

"Oh, mum, this is Harry. He's here for a school project."

"Lovely to meet you Harry, I'm Johanna, or Jay, Louis's mum."

"Hi." Harry replied nervously.

"Where is Lottie?"

"Up in her room." 

Louis began walking up the stairs, hinting for Harry to follow. "Just go and wait in my room Styles, don't touch anything." He told him before walking into another bedroom.

Harry looked around, realising he had no clue which room belonged to Louis, so he just kind of stood there awkwardly.

"Hey Lotts." Harry heard Louis say from inside the room. "Don't worry about Connor, he's a dick-" He was cut off by a girl, presumably a bit younger than them, giggling.

"Louis, you shouldn't swear."

"Shh, just don't tell mum or dad. Anyway, if you ever want me to talk to Connor, or if anyone's ever being mean to you, just let me know. Okay?"

"Okay Lou."

"Good. I've got to go and do a project now, I know, how boring. You should just take it easy. Just relax. Remember I love you, alright?"

"Alright. I love you too." The conversation ceased and Louis stepped out of the door, shutting it quietly.

"Didn't I tell you to wait in my bedroom?"

"Uh, um I don't know which room is yours."

Louis rolled his eyes, walking to the end of the hallway and pushing open a door. "Sit on the floor or something."

Harry nodded, sitting against the radiator.

"So, what are we going to do the project on?"

"I don't know." He admitted quietly.

"Well we better get talking then."

//

"Louis?"

"Yeah mum?"

"Would Harry like to stay for dinner?"

Louis huffed, falling back onto his bed. "Christ's sake. You have to say yes or she won't stop asking."

"Oh, um okay..." Harry was secretly excited to stay for dinner, it would mean a proper meal for the first time in forever.

"Yes mum, he will stay!"

"Well, dinner is ready in 5!"

"You better brace yourself." Louis warned before trudging downstairs, Harry quickly following him.

"Louis, could you lay the table for me?"

"Sure mum."

"Harry can sit in your dad's place, next to you. He won't be back in time for dinner. You boys may as well sit down, I'll call the girls down in a sec."

"So, Harry, how are you?" Jay asked as she dished out his food.

"I'm good." He squeaked out, "yeah, um, I'm good."

//

"Do you have any siblings Harry?"

"Um, yeah. I have an older sister, Gemma. But she's moved away." He and Gemma had always been close as children, but once their mum passed away she had just left. She said she couldn't stay there, but didn't think twice about leaving Harry alone. "We don't really talk anymore."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Why not?"

"It's stupid really. But she just moved away without telling me. I was waiting for her to come home but she never did and when I called her the next day she said she'd moved away."

"Oh god, I'm sorry Harry. That's awful."

"It's okay." He sighed. "Um, the food is lovely by the way."

"Thank you darling."

"Oi, Fizzy, stop eyeing him up." Louis chuckled, "he's like 6 years older than you, plus, he's gay."

Harry froze, a blush taking over his features.

"What's gay?" One of the twins asked.

"It's when you like someone of the same gender. Like he wants to date boys."

"Can I be gay?" 

"Why don't you wait til you're a bit older to see, ey?"

"Okay Lou Lou."

"Harry love, are you alright?" Jay reached across the table, putting a hand on his forearm.

"Y-yeah, sorry. People just don't usually take it very well when I tell them I'm gay."

"Oh sweetie, you don't have to worry about that with us." Harry glanced at Louis.

"Thank you." He mumbled. "Oh, I'm really sorry but I have to go." He said as he noticed the clock. "I was told to be back by 8."

"Okay, that's fine love. Do you need a lift home?"

"No, no it's okay thank you. Thank you for dinner. Bye." Harry rushed out of the door, he knew that he was already late and there was no use trying to prevent his punishment, but he still tried. 

"That Harry boy was lovely." Jay turned to Louis.

"That's the most I've ever heard him speak."

"How come?"

"I dunno." Louis shrugged, "he just doesn't talk to people. Nobody likes him."

"Why not?" She frowned, "the poor boy seems sweet."

"He's weird. Who just doesn't talk?"

"He probably has a reason you know. Be nice to him, please Louis."

"Yeah, okay. Whatever."

//

"Ah, Harry. I've been waiting for you. Bit late aren't you? What time is it now, quarter to 9. And what time did I tell you to be back by?"

"8." Harry whimpered.

"Exactly. I gave you one simple instruction yet you ignore me. You're fucking useless, you know that."

"Y-yes. I'm sorry-"

"Shut the fuck up you ungrateful bastard! After all I've done for you, you still act is if you can do what you want. Your mother would be so disappointed in you."

Harry let out a small cry but his uncle didn't stop.

"How do you think she'd feel that her gay son has been disrespecting her brother who looks after him and gives him a home. How do you think she'd feel that you're skipping school? Huh? You're already dumb enough as it is, you don't need to get any worse!"

"S-stop, p-p-please stop!" He begged, yelping as he was shoved against the wall and punched violently in the stomach, over and over again. "I-I can't breathe!" He gasped out as he doubled over, clutching his tummy and collapsing to the floor.

"What a shame. I'm going out, don't you dare do anything stupid." He left, slamming the front door as he went, leaving Harry a curled up, sobbing mess.

Harry soon managed to drag himself off of the floor, groaning at the pain. He sat down on the toilet seat, grabbing the painkillers from the cupboard. As he was about to shut it, a glimmering object caught his eye. His blade.

He placed the painkillers on the side, rolling his sleeve up as he bought it to his wrist.

Life was too fucking much for him. He could end it right now, he had everything he needed. But he wouldn't, he had promised his mum he wouldn't give up. What a stupid promise to make.

He sighed, squeezing his eyes shut as he dragged the blade across his wrist slowly. "Fuck." He muttered at the stinging sensation.

Soon enough he rinsed the blade off, putting it back under the cupboard and taking the painkillers from the side. He got himself a cup of water before taking two.

Tomorrow was going to be fun.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry awoke the next day at 4 in the morning, thanks to his painful bruises. He took another lot of painkillers, putting the packet in his bag before getting ready for work.

//

"Hi Harry. How are you?"

"I'm good thanks." He lied. "What do you want me to do?"

"Can you serve the customers? Like take their orders then make the drinks."

"Yeah, sure."

He stood at the counter, staring into space. It was quiet today, and he had only had to serve a few people. He looked up as the bell rung, spotting the three familiar faces, Louis, Liam, and Zayn.

He bit his lip anxiously, now Louis knew he worked two jobs. He was bound to get made fun of even more. What if people found out about his financial situation? What if-

"Oi Styles! We're talking to you." Zayn interrupted his thoughts, snapping his fingers in front of Harry's face.

"I-I'm sorry, what would you like to order?"

"If you'd have listened the first time you would know. We could get you fired for ignoring us." He smirked.

"N-no, please don't!" Harry rushed out, "please y-you can't-"

"Relax gay boy, we're not going to get you fired." Louis rolled his eyes.

"Oh..." Harry blushed.

"Anyway, we'll just have 3 iced mochas to sit in."

Harry nodded, "um, that'll be £6.30."

Liam slid the money over and Harry put it in the till. He began to make the coffees, wincing at the pain in his tummy and back. 

"Oi, hurry up." Zayn groaned.

"Sorry." He murmured, fumbling to place the lids on the coffee. "Here you go." He placed them down, the trio snatching them up without even a thank you.

They sat at a table in the corner, whispering to eachother and glancing at Harry every so often, obviously making comments on him as they burst out into laughter.

Harry drew his hands up inside his sleeves, wrapping them loosely around his waist as to not hurt himself.

"Harry, can you watch the shop for 20 minutes or so? I've got to pop next door." John asked.

"Yeah, okay." He put his head back down as John left, focusing on his shoes.

He busied himself as to not seem awkward, beginning to tidy up the work station where he had made a mess.

He turned around as the bell rang again, his jaw dropping. The woman who had just walked in had her head down, fumbling around in her handbag.

When her head finally snapped up she let out a gasp, "Harry? Oh my god you've grown."

"What do you want to order?" Harry asked coldly, avoiding eye contact.

"Oh don't be like that." She sighed.

"I can't do this right now."

"When can you then?"

"Preferably never."

"For god's sake Harry, stop making it into such a big deal." She groaned.

"I'm not making it into a big deal." He huffed.

"Yes you are." 

"No I'm fucking not Gemma! You left me! You fucking moved away without telling me! You left me, I needed you and you left me!" Harry yelled, tears filling his eyes. He glanced over to the trio in the corner, wiping his eyes as he noticed their stares.

"I'm sorry Harry, I didn't know it bothered you that much."

"It doesn't matter anymore. What are you even doing here?"

"I came to see you."

"Well you've seen me now. Just order your drink and go."

"For Christ's sake Harry, we used to be so close." 

"Well now we're not. And who's fault is that? Just go away, please. I've got to go to school as soon as my boss is back."

"Give me your phone."

"What? No."

"Just give me your phone, I'll put my number in. I'm going to call you later, don't you dare ignore me."

"No, you can't. Just text me and I'll call you if I can. Just hurry up please. What's your order whilst you do that?"

"Just a black coffee please." 

Harry nodded.

"Harry, you can go now if you need to." John walked back into the cafe.

"I'm just going to finish this order." He told him, rushing to finish the order before passing it to Gemma and taking his phone back. "I've got to go and get changed."

//

"Hey, wait up Curly. We thought we'd walk with you." Louis grinned. "So, what was that all about? Does Harry actually have a voice?"

"It was my sister." He mumbled, not wanting to explain.

"Ah, your sister who upped and left without telling you? The one you waited up for but she didn't come back because she had moved away." Louis taunted.

Zayn let out a loud laugh, "god, nobody wants to be around you."

"Stop." Harry murmured.

"You're telling us what to do, hmm?"

Harry looked up anxiously, his eyes widened as he realised what he had just said. "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry."

"Well, we're almost here. No time to beat you up now, but now if you don't meet us at break it'll be much worse. Meet us around the back of the school."

//

Harry limped to the spot they told him to meet them, dreading the second he arrived. He felt incredibly unwell, his stomach and back were hurting so much he could hardly move.

"Ah, here he is. Are you ready for your punishment?"

"I...please don't. Please-" Harry was cut off by a sudden punch to his stomach. He let out a strangled cry as he dropped to the floor.

Zayn kicked him again, and again. Stan, Liam and Louis just watched, joining in occasionally.

A feeling of sickness rose up suddenly, Harry rolled over quickly onto his hands and knees, throwing up on the ground beneath him as he sobbed.

"Jesus that's disgusting." Stan wrinkled his nose.

"Do you think we better get him to the nurse?" Liam frowned as he threw up again.

"Nah, he can do it himself." Zayn shrugged, "let's go."

"I think we should." Louis said, "look at him. He's not going to be able to get there."

"You and Liam can. I can't be arsed." Zayn walked off, followed closely by Stan.

Liam crouched down next to him, rolling him onto his back. "Help me sit him up Louis. I think we should see how bad his tummy is."

Liam lifted the crying boys shirt up slightly. "He has a tattoo!?" Louis exclaimed in disbelief as the butterfly came into view, "how the bloody hell did he get that? He's 16!"

"Louis, not important. God, this is bad. Did Zayn do all of this?"

"No, these are new but they wouldn't have gotten so dark so quickly."

"Harry, how did you get them?"

"Fell down stairs..." He choked out.

"Come on, let's get him to the nurse."


	5. Chapter 5

After around 10 minutes of Harry begging to be taken anywhere but the nurse Louis finally gave in.

"For god's sake, we'll take him to my mum seeing as he's being difficult. She's a nurse. I'll call her to pick us up."

"We're gonna have to sneak out."

"That won't be hard, everyone's already in class."

//

"Oh my god. What the hell happened to him Louis!?" Jay exclaimed, lying Harry on the sofa.

"I don't know. We found him like this." Louis lied. "He said he'd fallen down the stairs though."

"Harry love, what hurts?"

"Everything..." He murmured weakly.

"Right, we're going to have to take off your shirt."

"No." He shook his head firmly, groaning immediately. 

"Just listen to her will you." Louis sighed.

"I don't wanna take off my shirt." He mumbled, "I can't."

"Well what do you want her to do? Fucking magic?"

"Louis." Jay sighed, "you're not helping. Take Liam upstairs." Louis huffed, trudging out of the living room, Liam following closely. "Harry sweetie, why can't I take off your shirt?"

"I don't want you to." If she did, she would see his cuts. Then she would ask questions. Louis might find out, and then the whole year would know.

"Alright. Well we're just going to have to unbutton it then. Is that alright? I need to be able to see your tummy and back."

"Okay..."

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"Fell down the stairs."

"Okay, but what about the fresh bruises?"

Harry bit his lip, staring at the ceiling.

"Harry?"

"Someone beat me up." He admitted quietly.

"Oh Jesus. Who?"

"I don't know their name."

"You need to report them." She told him.

"It's fine."

"It's definitely not fine. Have you seen the bruises? Stay here, I'll go and get you some painkillers."

"Thank you."

Within a few seconds Jay was back. "Do you want me to call anyone to pick you up? Or do you want me to take you home?"

"I have work."

"Oh god no, you're not going to work Harry."

"I have to."

"There's no way I'm letting you go to work."

"Please." He begged, "I have to. And the painkillers will start working soon. I'll be fine."

"No Harry."

"My sister's come back to see me. Can I call her to pick me up?" He asked quietly as tears filled his eyes.

"Of course you can." She told him the address as he dialled her number.

"Hi Harry."

"Can you come and pick me up?" He mumbled.

"Of course, where from?"

He recited the address before hanging up.

"She's gonna be here in 5." He told Jay, "I'm sorry for bothering you."

"Oh honey no, it's fine. But I don't think you'll be able to go to school tomorrow, or maybe the day after."

"I won't be allowed to stay off."

"Well, you'll have to try. Take these with you." She handed him a packet of painkillers. "Only take 2 every 4 hours."

"Thank you. I appreciate your help."

She smiled warmly at him, "is this your sister here now?"

"I think so." He stood up slowly with the help of Jay. She opened the door for him and as the cool air hit his skin he realised her shirt was still unbuttoned.

"Bloody hell Harry, what happened? And how on earth did you get a tattoo?"

"I fell down the stairs. And I was allowed with parental permission." He muttered.

Gemma walked up to him, wrapping an arm around him as they walked down the path to her car. "Thank you for looking after him."

"Anytime dear. Just make sure he takes the painkillers every 4 hours."

"Okay, will do. Let's get you home then." She helped him into the car. As soon as the door was shut Harry turned to Gemma.

"I don't want to go home."

"You have to. Uncle John will look after you."

"Please don't make me." Harry whimpered, his eyes filling with tears, "please don't. Can I stay with you?"

"I'm staying at a friend's Haz."

Harry dug his palms into his eyes in an attempt to stop the tears. 

"Fine, I'll text her and see if you can stay with us, alright?"

Harry nodded, not being able to speak without crying.

"So, the tattoo. How on earth did you get permission? And why did you get it so young?"

"I told him it was something that needed signing for school and he didn't read it." Harry choked out, "and I wanted it to remember mum. She loved butterflies."

"Oh Harry." Gemma sighed, hugging him, "come on, Lily said you can stay over."

"Lily, your friend from school?"

"Yeah I stayed in contact with her."

"But you didn't stay in contact with me." He muttered.

"I thought it would be better if you didn't have me around."

"And why would that be any fucking better for me?"

"Hey, language."

"You don't get to act like you're my mum."

Gemma huffed, starting the car and beginning to drive.

//

"So tell me what happened. I know you said you fell down the stairs but I don't believe you." Gemma asked as she sat cross legged on her bed.

"I did fall down the stairs yesterday."

"Okay, so why was that woman looking after you today?"

"Someone beat me up." He admitted quietly.

"Fucking hell Haz. Who? And why?"

"I don't know. Everyone hates me though."

"What? Why? What've you done wrong?"

"I don't know. They've hated me since year 7."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you would've made it a big deal."

"It is a big deal! You literally got beaten up!"

"Can I go to sleep? Please. 'm tired."

"Let's have something to eat first."

Harry nodded, "can I stay in here though?"

"I think you should come and eat with us."

"Oh...okay..." Harry scratched at his wrists as he followed Gemma into the kitchen, hiding behind her.

"Hi Harry. I haven't seen you in a while." Lily smiled.

"Yeah, hi." 

"Is mac n cheese alright?"

Harry nodded, wrapping an arm around himself loosely.


	6. Chapter 6

As Harry's eyes fluttered open panic filled his body. He sat up quickly, yelping at the pain in his body as he looked around. After a second or two he remembered where he was, letting out a sigh.

"Are you alright?" Gemma asked from the bed across the room. 

Harry nodded. "What time is it?"

"It's like 11. You slept a long time."

"Sorry."

"No, don't apologise."

"I haven't called into school." Harry frowned, "I need to tell them why I'm not in."

"Don't worry, I called in earlier."

"Oh...thank you."

"It's pancakes for breakfast."

"I don't have any clothes." He told her. "Or anything..."

"You can borrow something of mine. Harry, what's happened to you? I know you've always been quiet but you seem different."

"I grew up and realised how shitty life was. When are you going home?"

"It's only shitty if you let it be."

"Yeah, cause I can control everything." He muttered sarcastically. "You never answered my question."

"2 days time."

"And let me guess, I won't see you for another year or two."

"Don't be stupid."

"I'm not being stupid. It's not exactly unlikely, is it?"

"I told you, I thought it would be best for you."

"Yeah, whatever."

"I'm going to get you some clothes then you can have breakfast and I'll drive you home."

Harry's breath hitched at the idea of going home. "The house is a mess. I don't think you want to see it."

"How bad can it be?"

"Um, worse than the worst...I haven't had time to clean it."

"Can't Uncle John do that?"

Harry shrugged, "he makes me."

//

Harry cowered behind Gemma as she knocked on the door. His uncle was bound to kill him, he had skipped school yesterday, not come home last night and skipped school today.

The door swung open and his uncle answered with a glare on his face, "what?" He snapped, "Gemma?"

"Hi." She smiled nervously.

"How've you been? I haven't seen you in ages." A fake smile was immediately plastered on his face.

"I've been good. I'll come over tomorrow to catch up if that's alright?"

"Yeah, yeah. That's fine. Why aren't you in school Harry?"

"There was an incident yesterday, he-"

"Fell down the stairs at school." Harry interrupted. "They sent me home."

"I'd seen him yesterday morning when he was working so he called me to pick him up as he didn't want to bother you. It got late so he stayed with me, the nurse said for him to stay off today as well, and possibly tomorrow." Gemma lied, looking at Harry curiously. There had to be a reason for his lies so she played along.

"Oh, right. Well I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah. See you. Bye Harry."

"Bye." 

As soon as the door shut his uncle turned to him furiously, "the fuck you think you're playing at!? How are we supposed to get money if you're not going to work!?"

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I-" He was cut off by a slap to the face. 

"You what?" He challenged.

"P-please don't hurt me, if you do I won't be able to work." 

"God you're so fucking irritating. Get out of my house."

"W-what?"

"Just get out of my house. I can't stand being around you. You can come back at 9."

"B-but where will I go?"

"I don't fucking know, do you think I give two shits about that!? Just get out of my fucking house!" He yelled, making Harry stumble backwards.

"Can I please get changed first?" He mumbled, "I don't need to shower, I showered this morning."

"Fine, you have 5 minutes."

Harry scrabbled up the stairs, pulling on a pair of joggers and a hoodie. He had 8 hours to kill, he may as well be comfortable. Plus, it's not like he had any friends so he would be outside in the cold.

He rushed to get out of the house, sighing as he looked around him. The bruises had surprisingly stopped hurting as badly, but they still killed to touch.

He decided the best place to go would be the park, it was usually quiet there. But first he'd visit his mum. 

He soon reached her grave, sitting cross-legged in front of it. "Hi mum. Gemma's back. Well only for a few days then she'll be going again. I just wish she would stay around. I need someone. Things haven't been good at the moment. Zayn beat me up and I threw up. Louis and Liam took me back to Louis's because his mum's a nurse. She's really nice actually, I think you and her would be friends. I hope you don't mind but I'm going to sit here for a while."

Harry paused, looking around.

"Uncle John kicked me out until 9 pm. He said I was annoying him. I know I promised you I'd stay strong mummy, but I'm finding it really hard. I just want you to be here with me. I wish you'd come back."

Jay watched from the other side of the graveyard. She had been passing through when she spotted the familiar head of curls perched in front of a grave. She watched as he talked and talked to the gravestone, probably telling them about his past few days.

She sighed as he wept, wishing she could find a way to help the poor boy. She couldn't help but wonder who lay in that grave as she walked back to work.

//

"I'm home my darlings!" Jay called out as she placed her shopping bags on the kitchen island.

Louis immediately rushed over to help put the shopping away. 

"I saw Harry in the graveyard today." She told Louis absent-mindedly.

"Oh? What was he doing?"

"He was talking to one of the gravestones."

"What? That's so weird." Louis frowned, shaking his head. "Who talks to a gravestone?"

"People do you know. It's a normal thing to do."

"But why?"

"Well, the person isn't alive anymore so they can't talk to them physically, but they can talk to them like that."

Louis shrugged, he was sure that wasn't a normal thing to do. "Who's grave was it?"

"I don't know, no idea. Oh, I have to go and pick something up from the post office. I'll go now quickly."

"Alright. Is it okay if I have Zayn and Liam over?"

"Of course sweetheart. I'll be back in half an hour." She kissed the top of his head.

"Okay, bye mum."

//

Jay decided to walk through the park on her way back home in order to take a short cut. She paused as she say the boy from earlier, crying into his hands as he sat by the pond.

"Harry love?" Jay stood behind him, making him jump.

"H-hi." He hiccuped, wiping his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"N-nothing."

"Oh don't give me any of that shit." She sat down next to him. "What are you doing out here? It's freezing."

"I'm locked out of my house." He told her.

"Come home with me until someone gets home. You can't be out here without a coat, you'll catch your death."

"It's okay." He sniffled, "thank you though."

"Come on, I'm not asking you. You're coming home with me."


	7. Chapter 7

Harry pulled his sleeves over his hands, giving him sweater paws, as he followed Jay anxiously.

"Really, I can find somewhere else to go." He told her.

"No, we're here now, you may as well come in."

"Mum? What the hell is he doing here?" Louis frowned.

"Louis! Be nice for god's sake! And he's locked out of his house so I invited him over."

"But you know I have friends over."

"Okay? He can hang out with you, can't he?"

"It's okay, I'll stay down here. I don't wanna bother anyone."

Jay gave Louis a stern look, causing Louis to give in. "Ugh fine. Come on then."

Harry reluctantly followed Louis upstairs, balling his fists up.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Zayn spat from the corner of Louis's room.

"Mum brought him home. He's such a suck up to her."

"I told her I'd be fine." Harry insisted, "but she said I had to come here."

"Whatever." Louis rolled his eyes. "Why were you at the graveyard today?"

Harry froze up, spluttering out some sort of excuse. "I-I wasn't, I was just walking through-"

"Oh cut the bullshit. You were talking to a grave like a fucking crazy person."

"Louis, stop." Liam nudged him, noticing how uncomfortable Harry was.

It was his mum he was talking to. Just like Louis talks to his mum.

"I'm not crazy." 

"Then who were you talking to?"

Harry looked down, "doesn't matter."

"Fucking freak." Louis laughed, Harry frowning at him before looking back to his feet.

"It was my mum." He mumbled, feeling himself tear up.

"Your mum's dead?" Zayn asked in surprise.

"Zayn!" Liam hissed.

"I'm sorry." Louis gulped, suddenly feeling awful for teasing Harry about it.

"She died around a year and a half ago. She had cancer." He told them in a choked voice before he rushed out of the door. He couldn't stay in there much longer, everything was closing in on him.

He stumbled into the hallway, immediately crashing into Jay. "Harry? Harry what's wrong?"

"N-nothing."

"Did the boys do something or say something to you?"

Harry shook his head in response, "I-I just told them something, um that my mum died, and I need fresh air."

"Oh god, come on." She led Harry out to the back garden, sitting him down on the bench.

Harry started to sob, hugging himself tightly and rocking back and forth as he brought his knees to his chest.

Jay glanced up at the boys who were watching from Louis's bedroom, shooing them away from the window.

"Do you need a hug?" She asked softly, noticing how tightly Harry's arms were wrapped around himself.

Harry looked at her, not being able to answer with words but instead letting out a small whimper. Jay took that as a yes, scooting over and pulling him into her.

He flinched, tensing up for a while until he managed to relax into the hug. Physical contact scared him, but he craved it. He was always scared of being hurt but he wanted nothing more than for someone to just hold him and tell him everything would be alright.

The only person he had hugged since his mum died was Gemma, she was the only one he had trusted and the only one that cared, that was until she buggered off with no warning.

"Who do you live with now?" Jay broke the silence.

"My uncle." Harry sniffed, "my dad left when I was small."

"Are you and your uncle close?"

"He doesn't like me much." He mumbled.

"Why not?" Jay furrowed her eyebrows.

"Because I'm gay and I'm not very useful."

"You're a 16 year old boy. You shouldn't need to be useful. You should be having fun."

"I don't have time. I'm too busy."

"Doing what?"

"Working and tidying and doing school work." Harry didn't know why he was revealing so much to someone he had only recently met, but he couldn't stop. "Everything's too much." He cried.

"Hey, hey sweetheart, it'll be alright. Have you told your uncle you're feeling overwhelmed?"

"He doesn't care." 

"Harry, love. Are you happy at home?"

Harry hesitated before nodding a bit too much.

"Well, if you ever need a break from it you can come here. Or if you need to talk to someone you can talk to me."

"Thank you." He forced a smile. Of course he was grateful, but he didn't have the energy to smile. 

"What time does your uncle get home?"

"9." Harry sighed. "Another 4 hours."

"You can stay here. Do you want dinner?"

Harry shook his head, "thank you but I don't think I can eat."

"Well, I'm going to be making a casserole. I'll make enough for you if you're hungry."

"Thank you. You don't have to do this though. You've only met me like twice...I just don't want to be a bother or anything."

"You're a sweet boy Harry, and I can tell there's something going on and I'd like to help."

"Thank you." He whispered.

"I best go and start the casserole. You can stay out here a little longer if you want."

Harry nodded as Jay moved away from him, standing up and brushing off her lap before walking inside.

Harry remained with with his knees up to his chest, staring into space. What a weird thing to happen, he was sat in the garden of one of his bullies as their mother comforted him and told him she was always there for him.

It was uncomfortable, yet he felt safer than usual.

Louis trudged down the stairs, followed closely by Zayn and Liam.

"Where's Harry? Has he gone home?"

"No, he's out in the garden. Give him a bit of space will you?"

"Okay. What's for dinner?"

"Casserole, you two are welcome to stay." Jay invited Zayn and Liam. "The girls are all at a friend's so it'll be quieter."

"Thank you." Liam and Zayn nodded.

//

"Surely he's going to catch a cold out there." Liam glanced at Harry who hadn't moved from his earlier position.

"I'll go and fetch him in." Jay stood up, opening the back door. "Harry love." She called, making him jump, "I think you should come inside." Harry nodded, walking in quietly with his head down and his hands drawn up inside his sleeves. "You can just sit on the sofa."

Harry sat down quietly, curling up and focusing on picking at the ends of his sleeves.

Louis stared at him until Jay nudged him, hissing not to be rude. Louis rolled his eyes, pushing his food around his bowl.

"Harry, are you sure you're not hungry?"

He looked up with doe eyes, shaking his head slowly.

"Do you boys want to watch a film after dinner? Lottie will be back and I'm sure she'll want to watch it with you."

"Should we let Lotts pick out the film?" Louis suggested.

"Yeah she's got a good choice in films." Zayn laughed.

"I bet she'll choose the Titanic. She's been wanting to watch that for a while."

"Hi mum." Lottie walked through the door as if on cue, "hi Louis and Liam and Zayn and oh, hi Harry."

Harry lifted his head, forcing a smile and mumbling a hi to the younger girl.

"Alright Lottie?" Louis grinned, "have a good time at your friends?"

"Mhm. We made brownies and played Just Dance."

"Weed brownies?" Louis smirked, earning a slap around the head from his mum.

"Louis!" 

"What? She going to try them soon enough."

"Not on my watch. Do not follow in the footsteps of your brother Lottie. He's a bad influence."

"No I'm not, I'm just introducing her to the real world." Louis chuckled. "Anyway Lotts, do you wanna pick a film to watch in a minute?"

"Yes! Can we watch Titanic?" She pleaded.

"Told you." 

//

Louis snuck a glance at Harry as they watched the movie. His animated eyes were fixed to the TV and it was as if he'd never seen one before. And he seemed to be enjoying the film. To be honest, Louis was confused as to why he was in his house but he couldn't complain, it seemed his mum had taken a liking to the quiet boy. Annoyingly.

Once the film finished, Harry stood up, walking silently over to Jay. "Um, thank you for letting me stay here. My uncle should be home by now."

"Alright dear. Do you need a lift home?"

"No, I'm okay thank you."

"Harry, come over tomorrow to do the project." Louis told him from the sofa.

"What time? I have work."

"Will you be at school tomorrow?"

"Don't think so."

"Come over at like 12 then."

"Louis Tomlinson, you are not skipping school." Jay scolded.

"Mum it's fine, I'll go for the first two lessons and just say I've got a doctor's appointment or something. Can you call in actually?"

"You're still skipping school."

"It's only P.E. I can do that any old day. Rest of the day I have free periods."

"Fine. But just this once."


	8. Chapter 8

Harry knocked on the front door, biting his lip. The door opened and Harry scurried past his uncle.

"Please may I go up to bed?" Harry asked nervously.

"Whatever. I'm having people over so don't you dare get in my way."

He nodded, walking to his bedroom and slouching down against the door with a sigh. If his uncle had friends over, they'd no doubt be loud until the early hours of the morning so he'd be getting no sleep.

He locked his door, knowing that they'd probably try to get in. It was a surprise his uncle hadn't taken the lock off actually, although he supposed it was because Harry knew better than to hide.

It wasn't often Harry had the time alone, but when he did his thoughts ran wild. He decided to try and do some homework to distract himself, plus he needed to do it.

He did homework until music started blaring and loud drunken voices could be heard. Harry groaned, slamming his head against his desk. It's not even like he had much he could do tonight, his room was bare apart from the desk, his bed and his wardrobe. He had had his room essentially stripped and everything sold by his uncle when they had begun to loose money.

The only thing he could do really is draw. So that's what he did. He began to sketch, his mind drifting to the film they had watched earlier.

He hadn't watched TV since before his mum died and he had been intrigued. He had honestly loved the film and wanted to watch it again, but of course he couldn't.

He barely had time to draw anymore but when he properly took in his drawing he was happy with it. He had drawn the scene from the Titanic where they stood at the front of the boat, Jack holding Rose. But there was a problem, Jack looked exactly like Louis, and Rose looked like Harry...

Harry shoved his sketchbook back into the drawer, jumping as someone rattled his door handle.

"Oi! Who's in there!?" The obviously drunken man yelled.

"It's Harry, John's nephew." He told them nervously.

"Let me in."

"I'm sorry but I can't." 

"Just let me in kid."

Harry hid in his bathroom, he knew what these people could get like and it was best to ignore them.

He took his blade from the cabinet, sliding it along his wrist slowly. He felt so stupid for making these marks on his body, but he couldn't stop. He relished in the feeling of having control over his body for once, and he deserved the pain.

Eventually the rattling and the angered shouting outside died down, and Harry rinsed of his arms, bandaging them up and moving to his bed.

Curling up, he pulled the covers over him. He wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight but he had nothing better to do so he decided to just lie there.

Honestly, he was so thankful for Louis's mum, but he doubted he would ever take her up on her offer to visit if he needed somewhere to go. She was essentially a stranger, and of course the fact that Louis lived there put him off greatly. 

//

"Louis! Can I talk to you for a second?" Jay called Louis down from his room once Liam and Zayn had left.

"Yeah, what about?" He walked down the stairs.

"Just Harry."

"Oh not bloody Harry again." He huffed, "you're obsessed with him. You have a perfectly good son right here thank you."

"Louis, shut up and sit down. I just want you to be nice to him. I've told him he can come here if he needs an escape and although I doubt he'll take me up on it, if he's here I want you to be nice and not make him uncomfortable."

"An escape from what?" Louis frowned.

"Well, it doesn't seem he has a great home life. And there's definitely something going on with him, he doesn't seem happy."

"What do you mean he doesn't have a great home life?"

"He lives with his uncle, but apparently they don't get on. His uncle doesn't like him because he's gay and useless apparently. Well that's what he said. But Louis, you can't go around telling anyone this. Okay?"

"Alright, alright. I won't." Louis put his hands up in mock surrender. "I can't believe I've known him since year 7 and I didn't know his mum had died."

"I take it he hid it well then."

"I don't know, he's always been a background figure. Nobody really cares about him."

"Poor boy." Jay sighed.

"He works two jobs you know." Louis told her.

"Two jobs? Bloody hell. How do you know that?"

"I saw him after school in the bakery around the corner when I was getting stuff for the girls and I saw him before school in the café the other day when I was with Zayn and Liam."

Jay pinched the bridge of her nose, shaking her head. "You can go upstairs now if you want."

"Night mum. Love you."

"Night Boobear, love you too." Jay hugged him.

//

Harry stood at the door to Louis's house. He hadn't managed to sleep so he went into work early to get a shift in. He worked from 5-11 am, drinking plenty of coffee along the way.

"Come in!" Louis shouted.

Harry stepped inside, taking off his shoes and looking around.

"I'm up here." 

Harry followed Louis's voice, walking into his bedroom.

Louis looked up from his phone, doing a double take as he saw Harry's appearance. "Jesus Christ gay boy, you look like shit."

"Thanks." Harry mumbled, "didn't sleep."

"Why not?"

"My uncle had people around. They were drunk and loud. They didn't leave until this morning." Harry sighed. "I had coffee at work though so I should be alright."

"You still went to work?"

"Had to. I've lost too many hours."

"Why do you work two jobs?"

"Don't wanna talk about it if that's okay." He looked down.

Louis shrugged, chewing on the end of his pen. "Better get on with this bullshit then."

Today was the first time Louis had heard Harry laugh. Louis had said something funny and Harry let out a small giggle. He immediately covered his mouth and a blush took over his features, and Louis wouldn't admit it but he found it adorable.

"Why don't you laugh more often?" Louis had asked.

"Nothing to laugh about." Harry had muttered in response.


	9. Chapter 9

"Oi, boy. Come here." Harry's uncle snapped as he walked into the house.

Harry obeyed, knowing if he didn't he would get hurt.

"Seeing as you're a worthless fag who brings no money into this house, I thought you could help a bit more."

"How?" He squeaked.

"Jim, come here."

Harry looked over to the man with a frown. He gave Harry a creepy smile, walking over to him and caressing Harry's cheek. "You're a pretty one, aren't you?"

Harry shrunk away from his touch, feeling a sinking in his stomach.

"No need to be shy. You're gonna be all on display for me in a minute."

"Huh?" He was beyond confused now. 

"Why don't you take him upstairs Harry?"

"I don't understand..."

"I'm gonna fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk." Jim whispered into Harry's ear. A wave of panic took over Harry and he tried to back away, only to be grabbed by the wrist and pulled close to him.

"For god's sake Harry, don't make this difficult. He's paying good money to fuck you."

"B-but I don't want to-" He stuttered.

"Well you're going to, whether you want to or not."

Jim pulled Harry after him up to Harry's bedroom. He pushed the shaking boy down onto the bed, beginning to remove his trousers. Harry mustered up the strength to knee him between the legs, making a run for it.

Harry dashed past his uncle and didn't stop running until he was sure he was a safe distance away. He realised he didn't have any shoes on, but had been too caught up to notice as he left.

He looked around desperately, choking out sobs. He had almost been raped. What if this happened again? What if his uncle kept bringing random pedophiles home to fuck him?

"Where the hell are your shoes?" Harry jumped, spinning around as he continued to cry. His vision was so blurred with tears that he was unable to workout who was in front of him, until he spoke again. "Oi, where are your shoes?" It was Louis, of course it was fucking Louis.

"H-h-home-" He wiped frantically at his eyes in order to be able to see.

Louis stumped out his cigarette, frowning at Harry. "Why are you crying?"

Harry just shook his head.

"Do you want me to walk you home or something?"

"No! N-no, I-I can't g-go back there..."

"Well where are you going to sleep?" Harry pointed shakily to the nearby bench. "Are you joking? You'll freeze your fucking bollocks off! I'm calling my mum to pick us up."

Louis phoned his mum, glancing at Harry out of the corner of his eye. "Hi mum, can you come and pick us up? I was walking home from Zayn's and Harry's in the middle of the park with no shoes on and he's crying and he won't go home."

//

"God Harry, what happened?" Jay took in the shaking boy.

Harry didn't reply. He couldn't.

"Do you want to go home?"

Harry shook his head frantically.

"Right, so you'll sleep here. Louis, can you go and get him the spare duvet and pillow. I'll make you a hot chocolate." She told him, "you need to take off your socks as well. You can't wear those, they're soaking."

Harry looked at her blankly, still trembling. She took his arm, leading him over to the sofa and sitting him down.

"Do you want anything to eat?"

He shook his head, looking up as Louis came back into the room, completely engulfed in the duvet.

"Mum I can't see." He said, Jay letting out a small laugh and taking the duvet off him. She placed it next to Harry, who immediately drew it up around himself.

"I'll get you the hot chocolate then we'll get out of your way."

//

Harry couldn't sleep. Everytime he closed his eyes he imagined the man running his grubby fingers along Harry's skin.

"Jesus Christ I thought you'd be asleep!" Louis jumped as he walked past the sofa.

"Can't."

"Do you need to like, come upstairs or something?"

"I'm fine." 

"Ugh for god's sake. Come on, you can sleep on my floor. There's a mattress under my bed. I'm just going to get a drink then I'll be right up."

Harry bunched the duvet up, carrying it and the pillow up to Louis's room.

Louis walked in shortly after, pulling the mattress out from under his bed. Harry lay down, bringing the duvet up around him again, resting his head on the top of the pillow and hugging it tightly. "I'm sorry for being a pain. And thank you for letting me stay here tonight."

"It's fine." Louis shrugged, "doesn't mean I like you mind. Was there something else you were gonna say?"

Harry shook his head.

"Yeah there was, go on."

"I-It's just um, please can you stop hurting me physically...I-I'm sorry for asking it's just that it's making things quite difficult..."

Louis's heart lurched, "yeah, yeah whatever. I can't speak for Zayn and Stan though, I'll talk to them."

"Thank you." Harry sighed in relief, "thank you."

Louis turned off the light, Harry shrinking inside his hoodie. He was so scared to go home tomorrow. He'd get hurt and his uncle might keep inviting people home to sleep with him. And he couldn't run here every time. There's no way him escape every time.

"Night curly."

"Night." Harry returned.

After overthinking for a long time, his brain must have soon gotten tired as he managed to drift off.

He awoke the next morning with a start, breathing heavily. He had had an awful dream, he was pressed against the wall, several old men whispering crude things and running their dirty fingers along his skin. He was crying, begging to be left alone but they wouldn't listen.

He looked around frantically as he gasped for air. 

Louis was still asleep, snoring softly.

Without noticing, words began to spill from Harry's mouth, "no, no, no, no, no, no-" He repeated, rocking back and forth, tugging at his hair.

"What the hell are you doing? It's 5 in the bloody morning." Louis grumbled, rolling over to face Harry.

"No, no, no-"

"Shut up!" Louis groaned, Harry's head snapped up to look at him. "What the hell happened?"

"I'm sorry, I-I had a bad dream." Harry pressed the back of his hand to his mouth in order to prevent himself making any sound.

"Bout what?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Well I'm not going back to sleep so do you want coffee or something?" Louis stood up from his bed, stretching.

Harry hadn't realised last night, but Louis was stood in just his boxers and god he looked good. He looked away quickly before Louis realised he was looking, a faint shade of pink tinting his cheeks.

"Um, I'll have a black coffee please." 

Louis nodded, pulling on some joggers before walking downstairs, Harry following.


	10. Chapter 10

"Are you going to go home now?" Louis asked Harry as they sat at the table with their coffees.

Harry shook his head, "I'll leave but I'm not going home."

"What actually did happen? Like people don't just run out of their house with no shoes on."

"It really isn't something I wanna talk about. But um, thank you for letting me sleep in your room last night."

"It's alright. Where are you gonna go if you're not going home?"

"I'll go to work, they keep my uniform there anyway."

"Cool." Louis nodded, "oh hey Custard." He noticed a sand coloured cat strutting along the floor, tail high in the air. Custard jumped onto Louis's lap, purring as he scratched her head. "You wanna hold her?" Louis asked, Harry nodding eagerly.

Louis placed the cat onto Harry's lap, Harry's face lighting up. "I love cats."

"Are you more of a dog person or a cat person?"

"Dog, but I love cats almost as much."

"Me too, the girls all begged for a cat though."

Harry smiled at the cat as it curled up on his lap. "She's cute."

"She is, isn't she?"

"Oh, boys. You're up." Jay smiled as she walked into the kitchen. "Louis put a top on will you?"

"It's too hot."

"Have you boys had breakfast yet?"

"No, just coffee."

"How do you feel about pancakes?"

Harry nodded, "if that's okay."

"Of course. So do you want a lift home afterwards?"

"Oh, no. Um, I won't be going home yet. I'm going to work."

"Do you need me to talk to your uncle?"

"No, no, god no." Harry rushed out before covering his mouth, "sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Hush darling, it's alright. You can stay here as long as you need to."

"Thank you, but I don't need to. It'll be alright." Harry lied, "I'll give him time to cool off."

"Well, don't hesitate to come over if you need to."

"Thank you."

//

"What size feet are you?"

"10."

"I've got a pair of shoes that should fit, I'll come with you and wait for you to change and you can give them back."

"Okay, thank you."

Louis grabbed the shoes, throwing them in front of Harry. "Mum will drive us, let's go and wait in the car."

The car ride was quiet, Harry staring out of the window. He knows that as soon as they were back at school Louis would stop being so laid back, but he had enjoyed being around Louis without being picked on, only if it was for a night.

As Harry was dropped off, he quickly changed into his uniform, handing Louis his shoes back.

"Bye, thank you for letting me stay." Harry gave a slight smile as Louis left.

"Care to explain why you just gave that chap your shoes?"

"Oh, um...it's a long story Paul..."

"What happened?"

"Something happened at home and I had to leave but I didn't have my shoes on and then he saw me and took me home. He goes to my school."

"Right, okay. Are you alright?"

"Bit shaken up. Hopefully he'll have calmed down when I'm home..."

"What happened if you don't mind me asking?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Okay, well what time do you want to work until?"

"Um, would 8 be okay?"

"No, I think that's far too long, that would be like 8 hours. How about 6?"

Harry nodded, knowing he wouldn't win if he argued. "Can I stay until 8 though?"

"Yeah, course."

"Thank you."

"Oh, you never told me why you were away the other day?"

"Oh...um, I fell down the stairs, and um I got beaten up..."

"You got beaten up? Bloody hell Harry. Who and why?"

"Just some people at school, they don't like me."

"Why don't they like you?"

Harry shrugged, "nobody does. It's fine, it's been like this since year 7." Harry walked out to the counter, "hi, how can I help you?" He asked as he saw someone walk in front of him from the corner of his eye.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't pretty boy."

Harry's head snapped up, his eyes widening.

"Why did you run away last night? We could've had so much fun."

"No." Harry shook his head, "no, I'm only 16."

"So much better. Nice and tight for me."

"Stop, please."

"Your uncle wasn't very happy by the way. I'm going to be back you know."

"Please don't." Harry begged, shaking his head.

"Harry, is everything alright?" Paul frowned at the interaction.

Harry gulped, nodding, but Paul stood closer anyway. "Go and wrap some of the food up out back."

Harry nodded, grateful for the excuse to escape. He scurried out back, collapsing onto the chair and putting his head in his hands, trying to control his breathing.

"What did he say to you?" Paul sat opposite him, grabbing Harry's arm as he pulled at his hair.

"He's just a perv...saw him the other day..."

"Well, he's still out there so do you want to stay here until he's gone?"

"Is that alright?"

"Course it is. I'll let you know once he's left."

"Thank you so much." He sighed in relief, he had never seen the man before, and of course as soon as he had tried to rape him, he turned up to his work the next day.

The feeling of panic quickly arose inside him, his uncle wasn't happy, his uncle was going to kill him. Jesus Christ, he couldn't breathe. His knees flew up to his chest and he tugged at his hair again, digging his nails into his scalp.

"Harry he's-oh god, what's wrong?"

Harry shook his head, trying to copy Paul's breathing pattern.

He soon calmed down, digging his palms into his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, do you need a break?"

"N-no I'm alright. I'm okay."

"Positive?" 

"Y-yeah, I'm good."


	11. Chapter 11

Harry knocked on the door nervously, bouncing up and down. He knew as soon as he stepped through that door he would be dead.

The door swung open and his uncle dragged him in. "What the fuck is wrong with you!? You can't just fucking run away! He was offering us good money!"

"He tried to rape me." Harry murmured in a small voice, "I don't want to."

"Well tough, you're going to have people over every week and you won't escape every time." He snarled.

"But I don't want to." He squeaked, "please-"

A slap to the face cut him off, "shut up. You're doing it whether you want to or not."

"B-but-"

"For god's sake! Don't you know when to fucking shut up!?" He kicked at Harry's shin, "if I hear one more word from you you won't get away so easily."

Harry nodded, letting the tears finally spill as he walked upstairs. That wasn't the worst outcome, he had expected to be half dead on the floor by now, but he was terrified. His uncle was right, he wouldn't be able to escape every time. But he could bloody well try.

He willed himself to breathe, not wanting a second panic attack that day. Once the feeling was overcome, he changed into his pyjamas, sitting on his bed and staring at the wall for a while until he felt himself growing sleepy.

//

Shit. He was going to be late. He had been working before school and hadn't realised the time. He rushed to change into his school uniform, grabbing his bag and running out with a quick goodbye to his boss.

He ran the majority of the way, pausing to catch his breath as he arrived. This certainly wasn't good for his asthma, but thank God, when he arrived people were still filing in.

He sat down at his desk, wheezing heavily.

"Out of breath already? What've you been doing?" Louis slipped into his seat next to Harry.

"Was gonna be late so I had to run."

"And why does it matter if you're late? It's not that big of a deal."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me." Louis raised his eyebrow, leaning forward. "Scared to get a detention?"

"No, well kinda. My uncle wouldn't be happy..." He said, "and I have anxiety." He added on quietly.

"You have anxiety?"

"Social and general." Harry nodded, fiddling with his hands, "don't like the attention or anything."

"Is that why you freak out when you get picked on in class or whatever?"

"I don't freak out." Harry frowned.

"Yeah, yeah. Sure."

"I don't."

"Mhm, that's why you go all red and shaky and stutter a lot."

"Is it obvious?" Harry panicked.

"I mean, kinda. Yeah." Louis shrugged.

"Fuck." He muttered.

Zayn burst through the door, sitting down opposite them. "Where's the Irish kid?"

"Niall? Don't think he's in. Anyways, why are you so late?"

"Couldn't be bothered to get up and mum made me walk."

"You should've run like Harold here. He was scared to get a detention so he ran." Louis chuckled, patting Harry's shoulder.

Harry flinched away, freezing as he noticed their stares.

"Woah calm down, I wasn't gonna chop your arm off or anything."

"Better keep your hands away from him anyway. You don't wanna catch a disease." Zayn smirked.

"What've we got next?"

"Games." Zayn told him.

"Well tutor better hurry up, I hope we're doing football."

Harry hoped he could get out of it. His tummy and back were still slightly sore and to be honest, he was so tired and felt incredibly weak. But without a note he knew it would be a slim chance.

The bell eventually rang, signalling the end of tutor and the boys walked to games, Harry trailing behind them.

"Um, sir, please can I get out of games today? I don't have a note but-"

"Nope, if you don't have a note you have to do it." He said firmly.

Harry didn't want to argue so he walked into the changing rooms, defeated.

He set his bag down, beginning to get changed. He slipped his shirt off before pulling the other one on.

"Jesus Christ are you like anorexic or something?" Zayn looked Harry up and down. Harry was quick to pull his jumper on so nobody saw his cuts before wrapping his arms around himself self-consciously.

"Zayn!" Liam hissed, "don't make comments about someone's weight!"

"Why not? He's literally just skin and bone."

"Can't help it." Harry said quietly with a blush.

"Of course you can, you literally just need to eat something."

Harry shook his head, "'m not anorexic."

"Then why are you a literal skeleton?"

Harry ignored him, walking out of the changing rooms.

"Oi Styles, don't you dare ignore me!" Zayn yelled after him.

"Are you alright mate? You look a bit peaky." A familiar Irish boy jogged up next to him.

"I thought you weren't in?"

"Had a dentist appointment. Anyway, what's up?"

"Nothing."

"Liar."

Harry turned to him with a frown. "I'm fine."

"No you're not."

"You shouldn't even be talking to me." Harry sighed.

"Why not? It's not like you've got a disease or anything."

"Everyone else seems to think so."

"Yeah, well. Luckily my brain is detached from their massive shared one."

"You'll get picked on if you talk to me though."

"It's alright, I'm friends with Liam."

"Liam doesn't like me."

"He doesn't dislike you. Just got in with the wrong crowd."

"Really? Oh..."

"Boys! Stop talking and get on with your laps!"

Harry groaned, taking a deep breath before beginning to jog.

"Honestly mate, you don't look good." Niall raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm fine. Just asthma and stuff."

"You should sit out."

"Not allowed. I don't have a note."

"That's a bit fucked up."

"Yeah." Harry shrugged. 

//

Harry moved back against the fence, crouching down with his head in his hands as he wheezed. Not only was his asthma was playing up, but he felt as if he would faint any second. He definitely hadn't been getting enough sleep, nor had been eating enough. He was overworked, far too overworked to be running laps.

"Mr Styles! Get up!" Harry stood up, gripping onto the fence as he felt a wave of dizziness come over him.

"I can't." He muttered.

"Oh my god you're so pathetic." Zayn spat.

"What are you actually doing?" Louis made a face, "you look like you're constipated or something."

"Mr Styles, what is the problem here?"

"Dizzy and asthma and...other stuff..."

"Are you on your period or something?" Louis smirked.

"Mr Tomlinson, that's enough thank you."

"I think he needs to go inside." Niall observed, looking the wheezing boy up and down.

"Mr Tomlinson, can you take him in please."

"Yeah, sure." Louis glanced at Zayn who had an evil grin on his face. 

The teacher walked off, Louis reluctantly putting an arm around Harry and helping him up.

"Try your best not to catch his disease Louis." Zayn laughed.

"I'll try not to." Louis chuckled.

"You can at least try and be nice. He's literally about to faint." Niall crossed his arms, glaring at the pair.

"Calm your tits leprechaun."

"Just be nice." Niall sighed, walking away.


	12. Chapter 12

Harry paused as they entered the changing rooms, looking at his bag in shock. It's contents littered the floor below, covered in what looked like juice, the homework sheets had been ripped up, along with any other paper in there. The actual bag had been cut up or set on fire or both, and it lay in juice covered piles of material.

"No..." Harry muttered, "no no no no-" He slipped to the ground, "oh my god no-"

"It's just a bag. Stop making such a big deal of things."

"I'm gonna get killed. Shit shit shit." Harry was on the verge of tears now, his bag was ruined, he couldn't afford another, nor did he have enough time to complete the homework again. But worst of all, the money he had been payed this morning from last week was gone.

"Stop being such a baby."

"W-where's my uniform? No, oh my god no-"

"It's literally a bag and a uniform."

"My money's gone, my bag's broken, my uniform's gone and everything else is ripped up or damaged..."

"Okay? Just buy a new bag and uniform."

"I can't!" He cried.

"Woah, calm down. You're going to give yourself a heart attack." Louis frowned, this was the worst he'd ever seen Harry. Usually he just stayed quiet.

"I-I can't...I-I c-can't!"

"You can't what?"

"Any of it!"

"Look, it's just a bag and uniform. You can easily buy a new one, and who cares about homework. And with your money can't you just earn it back? I'm sure it wasn't much."

Harry took a deep breath, "I can't afford it. I can't fucking afford it. And I'll get a detention and then I'll have to miss work and...and my money, it was all of last week's wages."

Louis felt a wave of guilt wash over him. Zayn had taken it too far. "You work two jobs don't you? Surely that means you have more money."

"I work two jobs because I have no money!"

"Alright, calm down. Just explain to the teachers that your bag got ruined or something for your homework. There's not much I can do about the money, but explain to your uncle what happened. Surely he'll understand."

"No. He won't understand. He's going to fucking kill me." Harry panicked.

"Look, I'm sure I have an old bag you can have. I don't know about the uniform though. You're taller than me so you can't have my old one."

"It's so expensive." He sobbed, "I don't know what I'm going to do..." 

"Do you want to come back to mine? We still need to finish that project...oh, it's been extended until next Friday."

"I can't oh my god-"

"Calm the fuck down! You're literally not breathing. And you're shaking loads bloody hell. Wait are you having a panic attack or something?"

Harry nodded, yanking at his hair as he gasped for air.

"Stop." Louis pulled his hand away, "just follow my breathing. Come on, in for 4, hold for 7, and out for 8."

He soon calmed down but he was still shaking. "I need to go home and tell him what's happened."

"Are you sure you don't want to come over?"

"I can't, I need to tell him." Harry stood up. There was nothing left of his bag to take.

"I'll drive you."

"Y-you can drive?"

"Got my license a couple of months ago. You're not well enough to walk back."

"My phone..." He spotted the cracked phone in the corner under the bench. There was no way that would work anymore, "o-oh my god..."

"Look, I'm going to take you home."

//

"H-here will be fine thanks." Harry said quietly, not wanting Louis to see the state of his house.

"Alright. Well, see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, bye."

He walked up to his door slowly, scratching at his scars until they reopened. He took a few seconds to muster up the courage before walking inside.

"What are you doing back so early?" John snarled.

"I-I n-need to talk to you."

"Well go on then."

"M-my money was stolen and my phone and bag are broken and I don't know where my uniform is-" He rushed out.

"What the fuck do you mean!? How much fucking money was that!?"

"£250..." He whispered.

"You lost fucking 250 quid, your fucking phone, bag and uniform!? You're so fucking worthless!"

"I-I'm sorry, I-I didn't m-mean to, I swear-"

"I don't care, all you ever do is make trouble. You need to learn that people like you shouldn't have any rights!" He slapped Harry, holding him up against the wall by his neck.

"C-can't b-breathe!" He choked out as tears streamed down his face.

"Good! That'll fucking teach you! I'll deal with you tomorrow." He pushed him to the floor, Harry's head knocking against the cabinet, causing him to immediately pass out.

//

"Zayn, what the fuck man!?" Louis hissed as he's pulled Zayn aside the next day.

"Pretty funny, don't ya think?" He smirked.

"No! It's not. He's got no bag or uniform or phone and you took all his fuckin' money! How much even was there?"

"Like £250. It's mental. He must be minted."

"You need to give it back."

"Can't."

"What do you mean, you can't?" Louis spat.

"I've spent it all."

"All of it? What the fuck on?"

"Weed, you can come over and have some later."

"Honestly Zayn. You need to find a way to give it back. He literally had a panic attack yesterday because of what you did."

"Well he needs to get over himself, it's not even like it was a good phone and he can buy another bag and uniform easily."

"No he can't!" Louis sighed loudly, "he can't afford it."

"Nah you're joking. He's not that poor. Did you listen when I said he had 250 quid in his bag?"

"That was his money from working last week. He works because he needs the money."

"Whatever, it's not like he can't just go to work this week. And I'll give his uniform back if it's that big of a deal."

"Yes, it is."

"Is he even in?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen him."

"What a fairy."

Louis rolled his eyes, walking to his first class.


	13. Chapter 13

"Miss, is Harry in today?" Louis asked.

"It doesn't seem it, he hasn't called in though."

"Oh, alright." Louis frowned, where was he? As much as he disliked the boy, he felt sorry for him. What Zayn had done was horrible.

//

"One second!" Louis called out as someone knocked on the front door. He pulled on his top before running down the stairs and opening the door. "Styles?" Louis took in Harry's curls, his face was aimed at the ground, his hair covering parts of it.

"Hi...can I come in? M-my uncle has people over and he wanted me out of the way...I thought we could maybe do some of the project." He mumbled shyly, "if you're not busy that is."

"Okay, yeah. Come in. Are you alright?"

"I'll be fine."

"Jesus Christ! What happened?" Louis exclaimed as he properly took in Harry's bruised face.

"Tripped over into the cabinet." He avoided eye contact as he played with his sleeves.

"Oh, right. Um Zayn got your uniform back. I have it upstairs."

"Really?" Harry sighed in relief, "thank god. I take it he was the one who did all that yesterday then..."

"Yeah."

"He's not going to give me my money back, is he?" Harry looked defeated.

"He's spent it all."

"What? On what?"

"Weed." Louis bit his lip, taking in Harry's face as a look of anger flashed through his eyes. "I know you're angry."

"It's not fair." Harry whispered. "I need that money and he just spent it all on fucking drugs."

"Why do you need it so much?"

"Because."

"Because what?"

"It doesn't matter." Harry shook his head, "forget it."

"Fine. For now." Louis walked back upstairs, Harry quickly removing his shoes and following. "You can sit down you know." Louis said as Harry just stood in the middle of his room.

"Oh, um, where to?" Harry said, flustered.

"Anywhere." Louis waved his hand around, "just sit on my bed or something. Hold on, Eleanor's calling."

He swiped up as her face came into view, "hey Lou!"

"Hi babe, actually, I can't really talk right now."

Babe, Harry observed. That was new.

"Oh? Why not?" Her face dropped into a pout.

"Harry's actually here."

"Why the hell are you with that freak? You'll catch a disease."

Louis chuckled slightly, "relax. It's for a project. Anyway, I'll talk to you later, love you." 

"Love you too baby, be careful." She hung up.

"Actually, I think I'm going to go and see if there are any spare shifts at work." Harry fumbled with his sleeves as he looked down.

"What? You literally just got here."

"I know, but you don't wanna be around me. It's fine. I-I can do the project on my own at work of something."

"Don't be stupid. If I cared that much I wouldn't have let you in."

"I can leave. You don't wanna catch a disease." Harry said the last part with sarcasm lacing his voice, shocking Louis.

"Oh stop being annoying and let's get on with this."

"'m sorry."

Louis frowned, Harry gave in far too easily. He hadn't even done anything wrong yet he was apologising.

"'m sorry, I didn't mean to be annoying." He added quietly.

"Look, don't worry. Let's just do the project. Also, I'm coming to yours next time."

"No." Harry looked up.

"What do you mean, no?" Louis glared.

"You can't. My uncle wouldn't let me."

"Well I'll just come over when he's not there."

Harry shook his head firmly, "no."

"Well you better ask him then, ask him when you go home tonight."

"He's still mad at me...there's no way he'll say yes."

"Why's he mad at you?"

"For losing the money and phone and bag and uniform. Obviously."

"Oi, what's gotten into you? You're never this talkative."

"I don't know. I'm sorry."

"I'll get you an old bag and put it by the front door with your uniform so we don't forget." Louis stood up, walking over to his wardrobe. "Will this one do?" He held up a plain black vans bag.

"A-are you sure?"

"Of course. I'll put it downstairs. Do you want anything to drink? We've got water, orange juice, squash or there's beer I think."

"Um, can I have a beer please." 

Louis looked at him in surprise, "you drink? I thought you were like a goody two shoes."

Harry shrugged, it was often all he had in the house, and his uncle would yell at him if he used too much water. 

//

"What's it like having anxiety?" Louis asked him. Harry was sat on the floor was Louis was lying on his bed, his head dangling off.

"Shit. I have social and generalized."

"What's the difference?"

"Um, with generalized it's just like everything. I just overthink everything and worry about it all, even small, stupid things. And social is just around people really, like I can't talk around people or talk to people very well. I don't like crowded places, I overthink everything about social situations. It's like, I can't order stuff, well I have to, but I find it really hard, and if I have to collect an order and it gets called out I'm scared I'm going to trip up or something in front of everyone. I think everyone's judging me all the time, which they are, and I'm really wary of my actions. I hate the attention."

"That's horrible."

"Tell me about it." He muttered. "And the only jobs I could get were where I had to interact with people."

"That's shitty."

"Yeah."

"When did you get diagnosed with it?"

"When I was 11. My mum used to help me out with it, but yeah, my uncle doesn't care..." Harry blinked back tears.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Louis said awkwardly.

"Sorry, I know you don't want to hear about my life." Harry muttered, suddenly feeling incredibly embarrassed. "

"What time are your uncles's friends leaving?"

"Probably not until the morning." Harry bit his nails. 

"Oh right. Are you going to be in school tomorrow?"

"I don't know...maybe..."

"Well, remember to ask your uncle about me coming over to do the project."

Harry nodded, "I-I think I'm going to go."

"Alright, see you tomorrow maybe then." Louis followed Harry downstairs.

"Oh, hello Harry. I didn't know you were here." Jay smiled warmly at Harry as he walked through the kitchen, "oh my god, what happened to your face?"

"I-uh, um, I fell into the door..." 

"I thought it was the cabinet?" Louis frowned.

"It was both, the cabinet was behind the door." Harry bit his lip, he was shit at lying.

"Right." Jay raised her eyebrow, "are you sure?"

"Mhm." Harry nodded, "yeah. Um, I gotta go. Bye." Harry forced a smile.

"Alright love, well I'll see you soon." Jay had a look of concern across her face.

"Thank you for the bag. And getting my uniform back." Harry said quietly to Louis.

"You're welcome."

//

"What was he doing here? Thought you didn't like him."

"He came to do the project. I might be going over his some day soon to do it."

"Alright. Why did he have your bag?"

"Gave it to him, something happened at school yesterday and his bag got broken."

"That was nice of you. Well, can you get the girls down for dinner?"

"Okay."


	14. Chapter 14

Harry walked in the front door, pushing his way through the crowd as he made his way up to his room. He groaned at the loud music and the drunk people everywhere. This was not how he wanted to live. He just wanted a kind, happy family and someone who actually loved him and helped him out. 

He locked his door and collapsed on the bathroom floor. He had cut a lot that morning once he had woken up from the floor, but not enough.

He took his blade, bringing it to his wrist. "Fuck." He whimpered, "fucking hell."

He dropped the blade to the floor, sitting there for a few minutes before he stood up, rinsing his arm off. He bandaged it up before beginning to tidy his bathroom. If his uncle did say yes to Louis coming over, he'd have to tidy the house so he may as well get a headstart.

Once his bathroom was somewhat tidied, he looked around his room. He put his notebook in his desk, putting his few clothes away in his wardrobe.

He looked to his bed, letting a small smile appear on his face at the stuffed bunny on his bed. His mum had bought the bunny for him when he was small. Of course he had come up with the most creative name a toddler could, Bubba. He moved to sit on his bed, holding the bunny up to his face and inhaling. His eyes fluttered closed and he lay back on his bed, curling up as he held the bunny tight to his chest.

He moved his pillow over his head, blocking out the noise from below as he soon somehow managed to drift off to sleep.

//

Harry made his way from work to school slowly the next morning, dreading the minute he walked into school. But as soon as he arrived he realised he couldn't go to lessons as normal. If he did he was bound to break down in at least one lesson.

He made his way nervously to the councillor's office, pausing as a teacher called after him.

"Mr Styles, you're with me now."

"U-um, I-I'm going to the c-councillor's office." He said anxiously.

"Ah, is everything okay?"

"I just can't handle normal lessons today." He murmured.

"Alright. Well if you just wait there I'll gather the worksheets for you."

"Okay." Harry stood there awkwardly, looking around at the dull hallway.

The teacher soon returned, handing Harry the worksheets before Harry continued to walk to the office.

He knocked on the door, entering quietly. "Hi." 

"Hi Harry." Barbara smiled warmly. Harry had spent a lot of time here when his mum had died, not being able to cope with that and the bullying. Barbara had always been here for him. "How come you're here?"

"Can't manage lessons today."

"Come with me then, we'll go and sit in one of the private rooms." She led him away from the other staff, through the beige corridor before stopping at one of the doors. "You can sit in here. Do you want me to email your teachers for your work?"

"Yes please."

"Alright, I'll be back in a couple of minutes."

Harry nodded, beginning to do the worksheet in his hand.

//

"Is Harry in today?" Louis asked Zayn.

"Why do you care?" 

"Project. He was going to ask his uncle if I could go over to his to do it today but I don't even know if he's in."

"Saw him talking to sir at the start of the lesson. He's in the councillor's office. Big bruise he has on his face, wonder what happened."

"Well that's helpful. I'll have to go and see him at break. Oh and he fell into the door and cabinet apparently."

"He's such a freak. Will they even let you go in?"

"Dunno." Louis shrugged, "I'll just explain and see if they do."

//

As it turned out, Louis was allowed to see Harry. He knocked before walking in and sitting down opposite Harry. Harry lifted his head, and Louis noticed that there were tear tracks on Harry's cheeks.

"You've been crying." He stated.

"What are you doing here?"

"Wanted to know if I'm going to yours for project."

"Um, I haven't had a chance to ask...but I have to go home before work tonight so I'll ask him then. If you want to come to where I work at half 4 I can let you know."

"Which place?"

"Oh right, sorry. Um, the bakery."

"Cool, I'll see you there." Louis nodded, scraping his chair back and departing with a wave.

//

"Harry, are you going to be staying in here for lunch?" Barbara asked him.

"Um, I think I'll go outside if that's okay..."

"Of course it is sweetheart. I'll see you after lunch then?"

"Yeah." Harry nodded, "I'll see you after lunch."

He picked up his bag, walking outside before the hallways could get too crowded. He sat in his usual place, nobody went there except to occasionally smoke or if someone fancied beating Harry up. It wasn't the safest place, everyone knew he sat there, but everywhere else was always occupied.

He picked at the grass as he kept his head lowered, glancing up as he heard footsteps approaching him.

"Styles!" Niall grinned, "knew you'd be here."

"Um, hi?"

"Alright?" Niall sat next to him, "haven't seen you around today."

"'ve been in the councillor's office." Harry frowned.

"Oh, how come?"

"Just was. Why are you sitting here?"

"Sorry, is it a crime?" Niall raised his eyebrows. "Am I trespassing or something?"

"N-no, 'm just confused. What about your friends?"

"What about 'em? I know I'm great but I'm sure they can survive without me."

"Won't they stop being your friend because you're with me?"

"No. Plus, the only person I hang out with really is Liam. And I've told you, he doesn't mind you."

"But I'm gay. I thought everyone hated that." Harry told him quietly.

"All I know is at the end of the day is love who you love, there ain't no other way." Niall shrugged, "honestly I don't care. So what if you like boys? It's no different to liking girls except boys have dicks."

"You really think that?" Harry let a small smile take over his face.

"Yeah. I do." Niall put his sandwich in his mouth, "why were you in the councillor's office?" He asked with his mouth full.

"Um, stuff." Harry said, staring at Niall's food longingly before looking back to his hands, "I have anxiety and it's bad today."

"Oh right, are you alright now?"

"Ish. I'll be alright tomorrow."

"Why aren't you eating?" Niall frowned.

"Don't have any food." Harry admitted.

Niall held out a sandwich wrapped in clingfilm, "have this. It's just cheese."

"No, I can't. It's yours."

"I always pack too much anyways, and my mum says I have to eat less. Have it, it's yours."

"Really?"

"Of course. Got spare cake as well. You can have that." Niall pulled out a piece of cake wrapped in tin foil. "My mum made it, it's chocolate."

"You're being too nice." Harry looked up warily.

"No I'm not. I'm just acting like a normal person. Do you wanna hang out sometime? You seem cool."

"I'm so confused right now."

"Right. I'm Niall, and I would like to be your friend. And if you say no I won't he happy."

"O-okay." Harry nodded, "sure."

"Get in! Now eat the food."

"Thank you." Harry beamed, "thank you."

Niall grinned in return, lying on his back. "Nice spot this is."

"I guess. When there's nobody else here. Not including you." He added quickly, "I mean, people come around here to smoke and they make me uncomfortable."

"Your voice is nice, is that weird of me to say? But yeah, you should talk more often."

"My uncle said my voice was annoying."

"He was probably joking. It's nice."


	15. Chapter 15

"Um, can I talk to you quickly?" Harry asked his uncle nervously.

"What." 

"I-I have a project to work on for school and my partner wants to come over...and I don't want to say no because they might think something is up..."

"You're such a little manipulative dickhead. It's not like I can say no now." His uncle groaned, "fine. I'll go out for tonight and I'll be back tomorrow."

"Really?" Harry asked in shock.

"If I say no they'll ask why and someone will start a rumour."

"Thank you."

"I'm not doing it for you." 

"I-I know."

//

"Alright Curly?" Louis strolled into the bakery, Harry lifting his head.

"Hi. Um, you can come over tonight. B-but I still don't think you'll want to."

"How bad can it be?"

"Bad." Harry bit his lip.

"Well, what time are you done working?" Louis leaned against the counter.

"I'm done in an hour."

"Well, I'll just wait in here. I'll do some work or something."

"Okay." Harry nodded.

//

"This is your house?" Louis raised his eyebrows as they stood outside.

"I told you it was awful." Harry bowed his head in shame.

"Yeah." Louis sighed, nodding in agreement.

Harry inhaled deeply to prevent himself from crying, "it's worse inside."

"Worse? Jesus Christ, how can it be worse?"

"I'm sorry, I try and look after it but I don't have any time." He walked up to the front door, avoiding eye contact. He unlocked it, pushing the door open and walking inside, Louis following him.

"God it's dreary in here, why don't you turn some lights on?" Louis reached for the light switch.

"No!" Harry stopped him urgently, "w-we can't."

"Why not? It's just a light."

"Costs money." Harry flushed.

"You can't afford to turn a light on?"

"It's not necessary." He opened the fridge, passing a beer to Louis. "Um, we better go to my room."

"Do you not have a TV?" Louis looked around in search for one.

"Used to, we had to sell them though." They walked up the stairs.

"Bloody hell where is everything?" Louis looked around his room.

"Where do you think? We had to sell it obviously." Harry snapped, burying his head in his hands instantly after, "sorry. 'm just so fuckin' embarrassed."

Louis frowned with a small nod.

"Are you going to tell everyone?"

"What?"

"Are you going to tell everyone that I'm poor?"

"No, of course not."

"Oh...thank you...um, just sit wherever."

"Do you seriously still have stuffed animals?" Louis picked up Bubba, looking at him.

"What's wrong with it?" Harry pouted, "plus, my mum gave him to me." He took the bunny, holding it to his chest.

"Nothing's wrong with it, I just thought they were for little kids."

Harry shook his head, "do you not have any?"

"No." It was Louis's turn to shake his head.

"Not even from when you were little?"

"Nope."

"Oh..."

"I bet you cuddle them at night, well all the time." Louis smirked, Harry blushing. 

"Please don't tell people, they'll make fun of me even more." Harry spoke up nervously. 

"Relax gay boy, I'm not gonna. Anyway, why on earth do you cuddle stuffed animals?"

"Because..." Harry trailed off.

"Because?"

"Because I like cuddling but can't cuddle people." Harry's cheeks were literally on fire as he focused on the toy bunny on his lap and played with his hands.

"Surely you can just like phone up someone and hire them to cuddle you." 

"What? That's ridiculous."

"Well you might as well." Louis shrugged.

"I have anxiety." Harry reminded him, "a-and I can't do physical contact unless I trust them and are comfortable around them."

"So you like cuddling, but you don't like it?"

"It's not that I like it but don't like it, it's that I like the feeling, but not with certain people." 

"So, who in your life right now would you let hug or cuddle you?"

Harry paused to think, "no-one."

"No-one at all? What about like an auntie or grandma or something?" Louis asked in surprise.

"Don't have any."

"Friends?"

"Don't have any." Harry repeated.

"What about from primary school or whatever?"

"I never really had any." Harry had been a quiet child, rather than running around with the other children he would usually sit on his own with a book. He had never been bullied for it in primary, people just tended to ignore him. And when they did speak to him, Harry would shy away and not say much, making it not worth their while to attempt to speak to him again.

It was his first day of secondary school when he was first bullied. He had been walking through the corridors on his own, looking for the canteen when Louis and his friends had come up to him. They had asked him if he had wanted to sit with them at lunch, which he had awkwardly declined.

They didn't much like being declined, and so began to tease him about whatever they could, saying they were only joking as nobody would ever want to be his friend. And it seemed they were right.

As soon as they had started the rumours about him, the whole year had begun to avoid him, only going near him to tease him or laugh.

That was the first time he had cried at lunch, other than the times he had lost his favourite Barbie doll or fallen over. But nobody had to know he used to play with Barbie dolls, that would definitely end with him bleeding on the ground somewhere.

"You never had any friends? God that's sad. What did you do instead?"

"I always preferred to play on my own or read or something."

"Weirdo." Louis said, half in a playful manner.

"Um, let's do the project. Do you wanna sit at my desk? And I'll sit on the floor."

"Sure. Have you always lived here?"

"This used to be my mum's house that Gemma and I lived in with her. W-when she died my uncle moved in...it used to be much nicer."

"I'm sorry about your mum." 

Harry shrugged with a sad smile, "me too."


	16. Chapter 16

"Do you have anything to eat?" Louis asked, turning around in his chair.

"Um there might be an apple or something..." Harry told him, well there goes his food for tomorrow.

"An apple?" Louis raised an eyebrow, "is that all?"

"Afraid so."

"Alright then."

"I'll go and get it." Harry stood up from the floor, brushing his hands off and walking down the stairs. He grabbed the apple before returning, panicking as he saw Louis holding his diary. "N-no, don't look in that!" Harry rushed to snatch it from his hands.

"Why not? Has it got stuff about your crush in there?"

"Just personal stuff." Harry murmured, "really personal stuff."

"Like what?"

"Stuff I don't want people to know."

"Then why did you write it down?"

"Because I didn't expect people to be snooping through my things and I need some way to let stuff out."

"Isn't that what therapy is for?"

"You think I can afford therapy?" Harry spat sarcastically.

"God you're feisty when you want to be, aren't you?" Louis said in surprise.

"I'm sorry."

"No you're not." Louis smirked.

"I am."

"And why would be sorry?"

"Because I was mean." He mumbled.

Louis's heart melted at the boy in front of him. Why the hell was his heart melting? "You weren't mean."

"Was."

"No you weren't." Louis took a bite of the apple. "Who do you have a crush on?"

"What? No-one." Harry said truthfully, he may be taking a bit of a liking to Louis, somehow, but it wasn't a crush.

"Is it the Irish kid?"

"No, no way. He's nice but nope. I told you, I don't have a crush on anyone."

"Yeah but I don't believe you. You're a 16 year old boy, you must wank over someone."

"I don't." Harry blushed furiously.

"You don't wank?'

"Stop it, this is awkward."

"Only if you let it be awkward." Louis shrugged, "I wank all the time."

"Oh...erm, good to know." 

"There you go, you can wank to the thought of that now gay boy."

"'m not gonna."

"Course you are." 

//

"Well, I better get going. Mum wants me home by 9."

"Okay." Harry sighed, he'd miss the company, even if it was someone who bullied him.

"Well, see ya." Louis waved.

Harry shut the door after him, locking it before sitting down at the kitchen table.

//

It was that Friday when Harry next appeared on Louis's doorstep in floods of tears. His uncle had bought yet another man home, and this time Harry almost hadn't had the chance to escape.

"Gay boy?" Louis raised an eyebrow as he opened the door, Harry looked behind him anxiously.

"C-can I come in?"

"Do you have to?" He groaned, not fully taking in the state Harry was in.

"Please." He whispered.

"Fine, come in." He huffed, "Jesus Christ, what's wrong?" He observed Harry's flushed, tear-stained face.

"I-I'm so scared-" Harry sobbed, hugging himself tightly.

"Of what?" Louis asked in a soft voice.

"I c-can't tell you...just, please, I-I don't know what to do-"

"I can't help you unless you tell me what's going on love." His eyes widened at the pet name as he bit the inside of his cheek, Harry however, didn't seem to notice.

"I can't tell you, I-I can't t-tell anyone."

"Then how the fuck am I meant to help you?" He snapped, Harry flinching away.

"P-please don't hurt me." Harry begged, his voice cracking.

"I'm not going to, come in and sit down." Harry followed him shakily, sitting on the sofa next to Louis. "Stay there a minute."

Louis stood up, walking upstairs and into Lottie's room where all his sisters were sat.

"Hi, erm, Harry's downstairs but he's a bit shaken up over something so could you just say up here in your rooms?" Louis asked them politely, "I'm not sure he'd cope well with a lot of people."

"Yeah, of course." Lottie nodded.

"Thank you." Louis smiled gratefully, returning back to Harry who was pressing his fingers into his back as he hugged himself tightly. Small whimpers were coming from his mouth as he rocked back and forth gently.

Louis lay a hand on Harry shoulder, Harry jolting away and looking at him in fear. "Sorry."

"My mum will be home soon."

"I-I don't wanna be a nuisance b-but can I sleep here tonight? 'm sorry to bother you but I don't have anywhere else to go and-"

"Yeah, sure." Louis cut him off.

"Thanks." Harry murmured, taking a cushion and hugging it to his chest.

Louis watched as he tried to comfort himself, remembering how Harry loved to cuddle. "Harry."

Harry's head snapped up, "o-oh sorry, d'you not want me touching your cushions? 'm sorry." He immediately let it go.

"No, that's not what I was gonna say. You just seem really scared and distraught. And this doesn't mean I like you in any way, but you look like you need a hug. If you want a hug, I'll give you a hug."

Harry nodded slowly, "y-yes please."

"C'mere then." Harry stood up, scooting over to Louis who wrapped his arms around Harry tightly and pulled him in. He rubbed Harry back as he cried into his shoulder.

Harry's sobs got louder, Louis buried his hand in Harry's curls, trying to soothe him. "You're safe, you're alright." As much as he disliked the boy, he couldn't stand seeing him in this state. "Don't cry. Look, Custard's here." Louis gestured to the cat who was rubbing against Harry's leg curiously.

Harry pulled away slowly, looking down to the cat. He slipped back to the sofa, the cat jumping onto his lap and curling up. "'m sorry." 

"Don't be sorry. I don't know what happened but it obviously wasn't good."

"I...I'll get over it..."

"Have you eaten yet? I've done chips and pizza if you want."

"A-are you sure?" Harry wiped at his eyes.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure. I'll go get it for you, just sit there."

Harry was shocked by his kindness, but he knew it wouldn't last of course. "O-okay thank you."

"I'm home darlings!" Jay's voice rang out from the front door as she stepped inside, "oh, hello Harry sweetheart. Is everything okay?" 

Harry sniffled, nodding his head slightly.

"He's going to stay here tonight mum. Also I've done pizza and chips. The girls have already eaten but I'm just getting it for Harry. D'you want some?"

"Yes please honey. Do you want to talk to me about what happened Harry?"

"Can't." He murmured, "sorry."

"No, don't worry about it love. I see Custard's taken a liking to you." She gestured to the cat, walking to place her bag on the kitchen side.

Harry let out a small smile, "I love her."

"Do you have any pets at home?"

Harry shook his head, "not allowed one."

"Food's on the table." Louis interrupted, Harry stood up, moving to the table.

"Thank you." He looked up to Louis shyly.

Louis just nodded, sitting next to his mum who had also moved to the table. He was going far too soft for Harry. And he didn't like it, not one bit. So he decided he had to go back to his old ways, after the project that was.


	17. Chapter 17

"So you do like to cuddle things." Louis observed as he looked down from his bed to Harry who was holding the pillow close, his head resting on the top.

Harry nodded, "yeah. It's comforting."

"Fair enough." Louis shrugged.

"You should try it." Harry murmured.

"Nah, not a weirdo." 

Harry frowned, "it's not weird."

"Whatever you say gay boy."

"Night Louis." He mumbled, rolling over.

Louis raised his eyebrows at Harry's sudden coldness, but decided to ignore it, reaching up to turn the light off. "Night."

The next day when Louis awoke, he couldn't help but stare at Harry who was still sleeping. He had curled up around the pillow, and had a slight pout upon his face. All in all, he looked adorable.

Harry's eyes soon fluttered open and he looked up to Louis sleepily. "Why were you staring at me?" He asked groggily, his raspy voice sending shivers down Louis's spine.

"Just taking in how ugly you are." He said, Harry's face immediately dropping.

"Oh, 'm sorry." He rubbed his eyes, sitting up. 

Both boys heads turned to the door at the knock. "Come in." Louis called.

"Alright boys? I just wanted to let you know that I'm taking Lottie and Fizzy shopping. Your dad will still be here though. Help yourself to breakfast." She smiled warmly, "did you have a good sleep?"

"Yes thank you." Harry returned the smile, "thank you for letting me stay here last night."

"It's my pleasure darling. Rights we better get going. I'll see you soon Harry."

"Yeah, bye."

"Bye mum, love you."

"Love you too Lou." She waved.

"You haven't met my dad yet, have you?" Louis asked.

"No. Is he scary?"

Louis snorted, "you'd think anyone was scary."

"That's not true."

"It is, you have anxiety remember. You're a wuss."

"I-I thought you understood." Harry mumbled, trying not to let Louis's words get to him, but failing miserably as he felt tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I do. That was low." Louis apologised.

"Then why did you say it?"

"I dunno, I just didn't think. I'm sorry."

"It's fine." Harry sniffed, wiping his eyes. "L-let's go downstairs."

"Alright." Louis stood up, trailing down the stairs. Harry followed awkwardly. 

"Hi Lou, hiya mate." Mark grinned, "I'm Mark." He held his hand out for Harry to shake.

"'m Harry." Harry shook his hand, "hi."

"Would you like coffee? Tea?"

"I'm fine thank you." Harry shook his head.

"I'll make my own coffee. Thank you though."

"Alright, well I'm gonna go out for a run. Just thought I'd stay to meet you."

"See ya." Louis said. Harry waving with a small smile.

//

"Fuckin' hell." Niall sat down next to Harry at lunch that Monday, "you've got another massive bruise."

"I know. Fell over again."

"Not being funny but you're clumsy as fuck mate."

"I know." Harry forced a laugh.

Niall took out a sandwich and slice of cake, passing it to Harry.

"Niall, you really need to stop giving me food. I can't keep taking it. It's not fair."

"It's perfectly fair. I'm gonna keep bringing you food and you're going to keep taking it."

"But-"

"No buts. You need to eat." 

"Yeah but I can't pay you back."

"No need. It's not like it's going to waste."

"Thank you." Harry smiled. "I still don't get why you keep sitting with me."

"Because you're my friend. Duh."

"But why?"

"Because you're nice and you're funny. You're just a good person."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Really."

"What about your friends?"

"Is it bad to say I prefer your company?" Niall winced.

"But they're more fun."

"Your company is better." Niall shrugged.

"Thank you." Harry blushed, "you're my first proper friend you know."

"You what?" Niall spluttered, "how?"

"I was just always quiet and preferred my own company. And in secondary nobody wanted to be my friend."

"Oh. I wish I'd have spoken to you sooner."

Harry shrugged. "It's alright. What've you got next?"

"Bloody geography." Niall huffed, "I swear to god my teacher has a crush on me or something, she always puts on a stupid voice whenever she's talking to and she keeps pulling down her top so I can see her boobs. It's gross, she's like in her 30s." He ranted.

Harry giggled at his disgust, "flirt back with her and see what happens."

"Nope, no way. The rumours would fly round. What've you got?"

"Geography as well. I've gotta sit next to Louis." Harry sighed. "He really hates me."

"He hates everyone that's not a bully."

"I s'pose. Um, we should probably start walking there anyway."

"We'll be well early."

"But we'll avoid the crowds. And I don't wanna be late."

"Fair enough, hold on." Niall packed his stuff away before standing up. "Why the hell are our geography classes at opposite sides of the school? Surely they should be near eachother."

Harry just shrugged. "Um, I'll see you tomorrow. Have a good lesson." He gave Niall a soft smile.

"And you." Niall grinned, "don't let Tommo be too much of a dick."

They parted their ways, Harry walking into his geography classroom. His teachers knew he liked to be early and stay out of the crowds so they just let him in whenever.

He sat at the table, fiddling with his hands as he waited for the students to file in.

Louis flopped into his seat, bumping into Harry, making him let out a small yelp.

"Sorry Curly. God I can't be fucked with this lesson." 

"Mr Tomlinson! I hope I didn't hear you say what I think I did."

"What do you think I said?" Louis asked cheekily.

The teacher rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she turned around.

"You look like a frog." Louis spoke as he looked at Harry.

"Great. Thank you."

"That's not a bad thing."

"Well you look like a hedgehog." Harry muttered, his eyes widening as he covered his mouth, "sorry!" He squeaked.

Louis just raised his eyebrows as he relaxed back into his seat.

"Hey baby!" Eleanor grinned, slipping into her seat in front of them and turning to face Louis. "Are you coming to mine tonight?"

"Harry's coming over for the project-"

"Um, I have to go by 5." Harry interrupted, biting his lip.

"We've basically finished it so that's alright. Yeah I'll be there at like 7."

"Cool, my parents are out." She grinned suggestively.

"Not tonight, sorry." Louis shook his head.

"Why not?" She pouted.

"We'll talk about this later. Not next to this innocent little frog." Louis said in a teasing voice, Harry blushing in embarrassment.

"Alright." She sighed.

"Miss Calder, turn around." The teacher scolded.

"Sorry miss." She said in a sickly voice.

"Oh, by the way Curly, after tonight you're not coming over again, I don't care what the reason is, go somewhere else." Louis whispered, Harry turned to look at him, worry flashing over his face.

Where the hell would he go? Other than a park bench or something. "Okay." He murmured.

"Good good." Louis gave him a sarcastic smile.


	18. Chapter 18

"Oi, fag!" Louis yelled after Harry's slouched figure. Harry turned around slowly, blinking at Louis. "Miss told me I had to get you, stop you from running away or whatever."

He shrugged, turning back around and walking into the toilets.

"Are you ignoring me?" Louis growled, pushing Harry against the wall as he stormed in after him.

Ever since last week, Louis had been acting far worse again, he had been cruel more than teasing, and it certainly wasn't helping Harry who had been having a far worse week than normal.

His uncle had hit him everyday, and he hadn't been able to escape the randomer his uncle had bought home last week, but luckily he had only had to give him a hand job. He had also run out of antidepressants, but was too scared to go to the doctor's to get more. To top it off, he had lost his job at the café and was finding it hard to find a new one.

"Sorry." He murmured, his eyes staying fixed on the ground.

"Come on, miss wants you to come back."

"Can't."

"Why not? Too pathetic?" Louis sneered.

Harry pushed Louis off weakly with his remaining strength, locking himself in one of the stalls.

"You're going to fucking pay for that."

"Whatever." Harry curled into a ball, burying his head in his arms.

"Just fucking open the door!" Louis banged on the door, making Harry jump.

"Please go away." He tried not to cry whilst Louis was right outside.

"Just stop being pathetic and come out."

"I can't."

"Yes you fucking can."

"Then why am I hiding in here?"

"Because you're a pussy."

"No, because if I go back in there I'm going to have a breakdown in front of everyone and then my anxiety will act up and then I'll have an anxiety attack and then I'll probably faint or something and everyone will laugh at me even more. And I really can't cope with that at the moment." He choked out.

"Well I'll go and tell miss you're not coming back."

"K." He bit his lip, letting himself cry as soon as Louis had left.

He had cut himself so much in the past week but he still didn't feel any better. Usually it at least made him feel a bit in control, or gave him the satisfaction of punishing himself, but this week it just felt like something that needed to be done for no reason.

Harry was so hungry but he couldn't bring himself to eat, every time Niall offered him food he would decline it, no matter how much Niall tried to force him to eat it. And he hadn't been sleeping. All in all, he was fucking exhausted of living.

He finally managed to stand up, washing his face with cold water as he walked out of the toilets. Louis was headed in his direction, causing Harry to hold himself tightly. 

"Are you finally going back to class?"

"No."

"Well where are you going then?"

"To the graveyard. Need to talk to my mum." He walked straight past Louis and out the front doors.

"She's dead. She's not gonna answer you."

"Just fucking piss off will you!?" Harry span around as tears filled his eyes yet again.

"Jesus Christ calm down. I was just sayin'." Louis put his hands up in mock surrender.

"Well don't just say." 

//

"Mummy." Harry sobbed, "I'm sorry. I know I said I'd stay strong but I just want to be up there with you. It's so, so awful down here. I don't know how much longer I can do this. Everything's worse than it was before. How the hell am I supposed to keep living like this?"

He moved so he was sat with his knees to his chest and rested his forehead against his knees as he cried.

"Harry?" A familiar voice called out. "Do you mind if I sit with you? I hope I'm not interrupting." 

"N-no, it's fine. Y-you can sit here." He wiped at his eyes aggressively.

"Shouldn't you be in school sweetheart?"

Harry shrugged, "I was but I had to go."

"What's up?" She put a hand on his back, making him flinch.

"Nothing." He shook his head, "I'm fine."

"And I'm a fairy."

"'m just overwhelmed."

"Do you need somewhere to stay for a couple of days?"

"No." Yes. "It's alright. Thank you though."

"You know you're always welcome." She said softly.

Harry just nodded. "I just need my mum." He told her, his voice cracking.

"Oh darling." She sighed, pulling him into a hug.

"I-I think I better get going." Harry mumbled, "'m sorry. I wanna try and get an extra shift in at work."

"Shouldn't you rest?"

"Can't. I lost my other job." 

"Please don't hesitate to come over if you need an escape or any help." She rubbed his back.

"I-I won't. Thank you." 

//

Harry was getting changed for pe when it happened. He had pulled on his t-shirt and was about to put on his hoodie when someone grabbed his arm. He gasped, pulling away but it was too late.

"Oh my fucking god! That's priceless!" Zayn threw back his head with a laugh, "you're such an attention seeker!"

"P-please stop. I-I don't want people to know." He stammered.

"Yes you do. Why else would you do it? Oi, Styles here cuts himself for attention!" He called out, everyone turning to look at him.

Harry froze, staring at everyone like a bunny in headlights. "I-I don't-"

"Then what are these? I bet they're on your other arm as well." He took his other arm, yanking up the sleeve. "Jesus Christ. Don't you get enough attention? Or are you just an attention whore?"

"It's not for attention." He said quietly, snatching his arms away.

"Don't act like nobody saw them, fag. We got pictures." Harry's head snapped up.

"What?"

"My dear friend Stan here took photos of your cutting boards."

"Delete them. Please." He begged, "I don't want people to know."

"Well it's too late now. The whole of this changing room knows and soon the whole year will."

Harry's eyes blurred with tears and he turned back to his bag, aggressively stuffing his things into it. He began to walk out, but got stopped by the pe teacher.

"And where do you think you're going?"

"I need to leave."

"Well you can't. Stay here."

"Please." He whimpered.

"No, you need to stay here."

"But-"

"Stay. Here." He growled.

Harry retreated to the changing rooms, shaking violently as he sat down. He could feel all the stares and hear them talking about him.

"You do realise your cuts make you look even worse." Stan told him with a smirk, "they just look gross."

"Why the hell is he shaking like that?" Someone asked.

Harry quickly stood up, rushing into the toilet stall next door. He locked the door, falling back against the wall as he tried to breathe steadily. Of course it didn't work, he began to scratch at his wrists, rocking back and forth.

By the time it had subsided, the lesson was bound to have finished, so he hauled himself up, unlocking the door and panicking as he spotted the business of the corridors.

"Harry? I've been looking for you!" Niall rushed over to Harry.

Harry just looked up before looking back down and walking past him.

"Hey, slow down. Are you alright?"

"'m fine."

"I heard about what happened." Niall said sympathetically.

"So why are you still talking to me?"

"Because you're my friend, bloody hell, is it that hard to accept I want to be your friend?"

Harry blinked at him, "yes."

"Where are you going?"

"Councillor's office. Everyone's staring." He murmured.

"Oi, fuck off!" Niall shouted, flapping his arms at them. "I'm coming with you." He added quietly so only Harry could here.

Harry tugged at his sleeves self-consciously, pushing through the crowd and through the double doors.

"Harry, are you alright?" Barbara asked.

"Can I stay in here the rest of today?" 

"Of course you can sweetheart. Who's this?"

"I'm Niall." He told her, "friend of Harry's."

"That's wonderful. Just go to your usual room Harry."

"Thank you." 

"Wanna tell me what's going on?" Niall offered kindly as they sat down. Harry shook his head in response.

"I'm fine."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am."

"No you're not. People who are alright don't hurt themselves."

"Whatever."

"Hey, I'm trying to help. If you talked to someone it might help."

"Don't wanna talk to anyone." 

"So you just cut yourself instead?"

"Yes." 

"I'm worried about you."

"Don't be. It won't get you anywhere."

Niall sighed, giving Harry a sad smile. "Well I'm always here if you need to talk."

"Thank you." Harry lay his head on the table.


	19. Chapter 19

Harry wasn't in school the next day. Nor the next. He had decided it was too risky and he didn't fancy the stares and whispers.

"Honestly Harry, why aren't you in school? And don't give me that 'inset day' bullshit again." Paul sat opposite him on his break.

"Something happened the other day and I don't want to go in."

"You can't just not go to school."

"It's not like I'd be doing any work if I was there anyway." He huffed.

"Then what would you be doing?"

"Crying."

"Why?" 

"Because of the thing that happened."

"What actually did happen? Did you get a detention or something."

"Don't wanna talk about it. Because if I told you then I wouldn't come here either. And I need the work."

"What happened with your other job?"

"I got fired." He muttered, "apparently it was because I can't talk to people very well."

"Well they're unfortunate to lose you. You're a good worker."

"Thank you." He murmured guiltily. "I'm gonna go to school tomorrow."

"Alright. Do you still want the shift before school?"

"Yeah please, b-but am I able to only do til 4 after school?"

"Sure. Any particular reason?"

"Just need to see someone. Sorry, it's a stupid reason but-"

"It's fine Harry. You better get back out there."

"Y-yeah. Sorry."

//

"Ah, look who's turned up." Louis smirked, "stopped being so pathetic yet?"

"Please don't." Harry said quietly. 

"Please don't what?" Zayn leaned against the wall behind him.

"Please just leave me alone today. Y-you can do whatever you want after this but p-please..." He whimpered.

"What do you think boys?" Zayn pretended to think, "should we leave the fag alone?"

Harry physically flinched at the insult, curling into himself.

"Nah." Stan laughed.

"Please, I...I'll do anything after today."

"And what's so special about today?"

"N-nothing."

"We're not gonna leave you alone. You don't deserve it."

"I think you should leave him alone." Liam spoke up, "Niall's friends with the lad. Said he's really sweet."

"Niall thinks everyone's sweet." Zayn rolled his eyes.

"Other than you lot."

"Oh, go away Liam." Louis groaned, "I love you and everything but you're being annoying."

"I'm just being nice." He shrugged, walking off. "You lot should try it."

"Boys! Get to tutor!" Harry sighed in relief as a teacher shooed them away.

"Harry, can I talk to you a moment." His tutor asked as soon as he had stepped into the classroom.

He nodded nervously, stepping back outside the door.

"You can't keep skipping school Harry. I've noticed you're not turning up an awful lot at the moment, with nobody calling in."

"I'm sorry miss." He looked down.

"I've also heard the rumours about what happened on Tuesday."

Harry instantly picked his head up, looking at her with wide eyes and a wide mouth.

"I'm sorry to say, but by now the whole school seems to know. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Harry shook his head, "I'm okay."

"Then why do you do it?"

He remained silent.

"Look, if you talk to us we can help you."

"I don't need help. 'm fine."

"Well, I can't force you to talk to anyone but you should consider it."

The rest of the day went awfully. Harry couldn't concentrate on anything apart from the laughs and names that were obviously aimed at him, and his teachers had picked on him multiple times, causing him to panic and more laughs were sent his way.

He was relieved when it finally got to lunch as Niall just talked and Harry listened. Niall had learned that Harry didn't like to talk much himself, so he did all the talking. Which he didn't mind at all.

"Niall." Harry interrupted as Niall was telling him all about how his music teacher had thrown a chair.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"What for?"

"Being a good friend and being nice to me."

Niall smiled at him. "Thank you for being a sweet person and letting me be your friend."

Harry moved to give him a hug, surprising both Niall and himself. Niall quickly relaxed, hugging him back. "Where's this come from mate?"

"Just wanted to make sure you know that I appreciate it." Harry muttered.

//

Harry took a deep breath as he knocked on Louis's door, biting his lip and playing with his hands.

When the door swung open he had expected Louis or Jay, not Eleanor. "Um, what are you doing here?" She asked in disgust. "Did you get the wrong house or something?"

"Um, no. Is Jay in?" He asked quietly.

"No."

"Who is it babe?" Louis called out, walking up behind her with no shirt and his joggers hanging dangerously low. He had hickeys all down his neck and chest. Ew.

"The gay freak."

"What are you doing here?" Louis frowned. "I thought I told you not to come here again."

"Just wanted to speak to your mum."

"About?"

Harry glanced at Eleanor, shifting uncomfortably under her glare. "Doesn't matter." He turned to leave.

"Hold on." Louis groaned. "Go and wait in my room El." She gave him a kiss, strutting upstairs.

"What do you want?" 

"Can you just tell your mum I said thank you?"

"For?"

"Just for everything. Like for looking after me." He said shyly.

"Sure. Bit weird though innit?"

Harry shook his head, "thank you. Make sure you tell her I appreciate it."

"Yeah, yeah will do. Bye."

"B-bye." He stammered, turning on his heel quickly. One last stop had to be made. He trudged to the graveyard, sitting before his mum's grave.

"Hi mummy. I can't do this anymore. I-I don't know why I'm crying really. I'm not scared, I want to leave. But I am scared at the same time. People will talk even more, and I know I'm already hated but I don't know. It shouldn't worry me, I won't be here to experience it. I feel guilty as well. Paul's going to have to find a replacement and Uncle John won't have any money. Anyway, I better go before he gets home. I love you. I'll see you soon."

As soon as he was home he collapsed onto the bathroom floor, grabbing a full bottle of sleeping pills.

He poured them into his hand, forcing them down his throat one by one. Once the bottle was near enough empty he slumped back against the wall. It was about time he saw his mother again.

He soon began to lull in and out of consciousness, his head rolling to the side. After a while he completely blacked out.


	20. Chapter 20

Harry didn't turn up next week. Nor the week after. Nor the week after that. It was safe to say that everyone, except for the teachers, were confused.

"Miss, where on earth is Harry?" Louis asked, "he hasn't been in for weeks."

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that Louis. It's confidential information."

"Has he moved schools or something?"

"That's enough questions, thank you."

Louis groaned, leaning back in his chair.

"Miss, why don't you just tell us where he is?" Zayn asked.

"I believe I've just told you that it's confidential, thank you Mr Malik."

"But Niall's worried about him."

"I think Niall has his own voice."

"I am worried about him. He was all soppy then just disappeared into thin air." Niall said.

"I except you'll see him soon. Don't worry too much." The teacher smiled at him.

"Alright." Niall offered a half smile in return, nodding his head.

//

"Mum, I'm worried about Harry." Louis sat on the kitchen side, kicking his legs.

"Off the side Louis please." She sighed, "why are you worried about him?"

He huffed, sliding off and sitting on a chair. "He hasn't been in school for like a month but none of the teachers will tell us where he is." 

"Why not?"

"They said it's 'confidential information'." Louis put on a voice, making the finger quotations, "load of bollocks if you ask me."

"Louis Tomlinson! Language!" She scolded, hitting him around the head with a tea towel. "And I'm sure you'll find out soon. In the meantime you just have to wait."

"I hate waiting." Louis groaned, "especially when someone just disappears off the face of the earth. I might just hire a P.I."

"I'm sure he's alright love."

"Yeah but he was acting weird on the last day we saw him. Like he came over to tell me to say thank you."

"I must admit, that's odd. I thought he was just being sweet though."

Louis hummed, taking a cookie from the plate on the side before walking into the living room to play with his sisters.

//

It was two months later when Harry stood outside of the school anxiously. He didn't want to be alive, let alone at school.

"Styles?" He heard an all too familiar voice call out from behind him. He turned around slowly, his breath hitching at the people in front of him.

Niall was stood next to Liam, Zayn on Liam's other side, and Louis with his arms wrapped around Eleanor.

"Oh my god Harry!" Niall bounded up to him, embracing him in a hug, almost knocking the both of them over. "Don't do that you dick!"

"'m sorry. Hi Niall." Harry smiled slightly. 

"Where the hell have you been?" Louis asked.

"I had to go away." Harry mumbled.

"Where to? Did you like, go travelling or something?" Eleanor raised an eyebrow.

"No. No, nothing like that." 

"Then where on earth did you go?" Louis frowned.

"I've told you. Away."

"Don't get smart."

"Leave him, he obviously doesn't want to say." Niall stood up for him.

"He bloody disappears for 3 months with no warning, course he has to say." Zayn said.

Harry was trembling now, really not wanting to tell them. 

"Well? Get on with it." Louis snapped.

"I-uh-I tried to um...I tried to visit my mum."

They all stared at him, what he had just said not clicking.

"Your mum's dead you twat." Zayn rolled his eyes.

"Zayn you fuckin' knob 'ead!" Liam elbowed him.

"Yeah. I know." Harry winced.

"Oh my god." Louis finally realised. "You attempted-"

"Yeah. I attempted suicide and got sent to the loony bin." He said quickly, spinning around and beginning to walk away.

"Jesus Christ." Niall grabbed his arm, pulling him into another hug. "I wish you'd said something."

Harry shrugged. "I just wish it had fucking worked."

"Don't say that."

"Sorry." He whispered. "Um, I'm gonna be in the councillor's office today if you want to come with..." He offered, feeling slightly bad.

"Yeah. Yeah, let's go."

Harry snuck a glance behind him where the others were stood staring at him with unreadable expressions.

//

"Are you alright Boobear? You're awfully quiet." Jay sat down opposite Louis at the table.

"Mhm."

"Tell me what's on your mind."

"Found out where Harry went. He's back now."

"And where did he go?"

"He tried to kill himself and was put into a mental hospital."

"No!" Jay gasped, "the poor boy. Oh my god. Please invite him around for dinner soon."

"Okay." Louis agreed. It was the least he could do. "He cuts himself as well. People saw in the changing rooms."

"Did you see?"

Louis nodded, "there were so many cuts. It was horrible."

"Oh bless him. I wish he'd told someone. I hope he's got a therapist or something now."

"He couldn't afford one. When I went to his house it was awful, and he'd had to sell basically everything. And he had no food or anything in the house."

"Well, you'll be seeing more of him. I'm going to invite him over more often."

Louis didn't protest, he knew he had no right. Harry had been through so much, and it was his fault.

"Invite him over tomorrow actually Lou."

"I will if I see him. But he's probably going to be in the councillor's office."

"Well go in there and ask him then."

"Alright, alright. I will."

//

Harry had been at home a week before he had been allowed to turn up to school, having to 'adjust to normal life again'. He managed to persuade them to allow him to return to work, if he could get a place back, although he really didn't want to.

He entered the bakery shyly, keeping his head down.

"Hi, can I help you?" Someone asked kindly as they stood at the counter.

"U-um, is Paul here?" He cleared his throat.

"Yeah, I'll just go and fetch him for you."

"Oh, actually could I go out back and see him?" He asked anxiously. "Please."

"Of course." They began to walk out, Harry following them. "Paul, there's someone here to see you."

"Hi." Harry squeaked.

"Harry? Oh my god!" He stood up, hugging him. "Why would you do that?"

"There's a lot of reasons. I'm sorry, I know it was selfish and-"

"Harry, shhh. Slow down. Don't worry about anyone but yourself."

"But I just left you, I didn't give you any warning or anything."

"You were in pain."

"I still am." He muttered.

Paul rubbed his arm with a sad smile. "Talk to me."

Harry shook his head, "don't wanna bother you. And I don't want to talk about some of the stuff. I didn't even tell people when I was in the hospital."

"You're never bothering me. I expect you're here about your job."

"Someone else has it, don't they." Harry sighed, "I shoulda expected that."

"I'm afraid so. But, there is another place that's free. You won't have to do an interview or anything."

"Really? Thank you." Harry smiled. "B-but I'm scared that I w-won't be as good at working because I'm, you know...I don't know...I have a lot on my mind. Well not really anymore than before but people know now."

"It'll be fine Harry. Okay?"

"Okay." Harry sighed.


	21. Chapter 21

Louis knocked on the door to the councillor's office, putting a smile on his face.

"Hello, can I help you?" A kind looking woman opened the door.

"Is Harry here?"

"Yes he is, follow me." She beckoned, walking through the hallway and stopping at a door, knocking before opening it. "Harry, someone's here to see you."

Harry looked away from Niall, fear filling his eyes at the sight of Louis. "Can I come in?"

"Are you going to be a dick?" Niall raised his eyebrows.

"No." Louis huffed, "anyway, I'm here to talk to Harry not you."

"Charming." Niall muttered. "I'll wait outside then."

"My mum wants you to come over for dinner."

"Oh, um...that's very kind but um, I don't know...sorry..." He stuttered out, shrinking into himself.

"Why not?"

"Um, I just, I don't know if I'll be able to..."

"Come on. It'll be fine. Mum insists."

"Um, okay...does she know?"

Louis grimaced, nodding his head. 

"Oh, shit. This wasn't supposed to happen."

"What wasn't?"

"Me to still be alive and for people to know. Well, I expected people to find out but I didn't want to be here for it." He rambled.

"Oh. Why'd you do it?"

"Don't wanna talk about it. It's fuckin' embarrassing."

"Well, I'll see you at mine tonight then. Come over at 5."

"O-okay. Um, I kinda don't have any shoes other than slippers to wear though...they took away my shoe laces and hoodie strings and stuff."

"Why the fuck would they do that?"

"So I don't try and strangle myself or something. I wouldn't have even thought about doing it like that. I just wanted to tell you so you didn't think it was weird or anything."

"Nah, don't worry. Just wear whatever. I'll see you later." Louis stood up, waving to him as he left the room.

"What did he want?" Niall re-entered, falling back into his chair.

"His mum invited me over."

"Weird." He raised his eyebrows.

"No, she's really nice." Harry sighed, "'m just scared. I don't like the fact that people know how I'm feeling...it's scary."

Niall gave Harry a sympathetic look. "People do care about you you know."

"You're literally the only person I've talked to in this school." Harry mumbled, "and I barely talk to you. How can you say people care about me? They all think I'm some sort of freak." Harry said.

"Yeah but what proof do they have behind that? 'Oh he painted his nails in year 7 and 8 and part of 9 and he's gay', so what?"

"You remember that I used to paint my nails?" Harry flushed.

"Duh. I thought it was sick. Why did you stop?"

"Everyone bullied me for it and my uncle didn't approve." He murmured, "when my mum died I stopped painting them because she was the only one who encouraged me and supported me with being myself."

"Well I think it was cool."

"Thanks." Harry blushed again.

//

"Deep breaths Harry, deep fucking breaths." He muttered to himself as he stood in front of the Tomlinson's door. He raised a fist, knocking on the wooden door quietly.

He kept his head down, looking up through his eyelashes as the door opened.

"Alright? Come in." Louis stood back, allowing Harry to walk past. He slipped off his shoes before following Louis into the kitchen gingerly. "Mum, Harry's here."

"Oh, Harry! Hi darling." She moved to hug him, he tensed up but quickly forced himself to relax.

"Hi." He replied quietly.

"Louis, why don't you go and see Phoebe and Daisy?" Jay shooed him away. Louis took the hint, nodding and leaving the pair alone. "Sit down Harry."

He did as he was told, looking at her nervously.

"I heard about what happened. How are you?"

In reality, he was no better than before, probably worse to be honest, but this wasn't reality. This was his life, he could make up anything he wanted.

"I'm good." He tried to smile convincingly, only to look as if he was in pain. 

"No you're not." That was the thing about making stuff up. It may be what they want to hear, but it doesn't mean people will always believe it. "You're not good, and that's alright."

"I am." He squeaked, "I'm fine. Really."

"I hope you know I don't believe you. Are you seeing a therapist?"

"Um, I was when I was...away...but now only once a week just to see my 'progress' for another 3 weeks. Can't afford one." He admitted quietly.

"Doesn't your uncle think that it's important?"

Harry shook his head, "no. And even if he did there's no way to afford it."

"I think this is something you need Harry." She frowned, "I'll be happy to help pay for it."

"No." Harry said firmly, "no way. I couldn't let you."

"Sweetheart, you're obviously not in a good place. I don't want you to attempt again."

He looked to the ground, gulping. "But what if I don't want to be here?" He said, almost too quietly to be heard.

"Tell me why."

"I don't wanna talk about myself. Makes me uncomfortable."

"I promise I won't tell anyone anything. Not a word to anyone, not even Lou."

"Okay..." Harry took a deep breath. "B-but there's stuff I can't tell you because I didn't say it to anyone in the hospital or my therapist or anything."

"Why not? You should've. They're here to help you."

"Because they'd make it a bigger deal than it is. And it would all be a mess."

"You should tell them everything love."

He shrugged, "maybe."

"Tell me what you can now then."

Harry took a shaky breath in, "I-I've got anxiety and depression...and I, um, nobody likes me at school. And this is one of the things I didn't say, but we have problems with money."

"Why don't people like you honey? You're a sweet boy."

"I don't know...I'm gay and I don't talk and I don't know. They say I'm ugly and annoying and worthless and a freak." He mumbled, flushing at the fact that someone else knew. "And they used to hurt me."

"So they don't anymore?"

"No, not anymore. They trip me up and stuff but they don't beat my up."

"Have you told any teachers about any of this?"

"They don't care. They see it but they don't say anything."

"Pardon my french but what a load of bollocks. Tell me about your money problems."

"Um, my uncle doesn't work and I had to work two jobs but we were still poor, and then I lost one of my jobs and it was even worse and I don't know..."

"I'll happily help you out whenever you need it."

"Thank you but I can't. I'll feel awful."

"You mustn't."

"Mummy! I'm hungry." Phoebe whined, walking into the kitchen.

"Sorry mum, I tried to stop her but Daisy attacked me." Louis ran in, Daisy slung over his shoulder as she giggled.

"It's alright love. Dinner's ready now anyway."

"Oh thank god, these two wouldn't shut up-"

"Louis." Jay scolded, raising her eyebrows.

"Sorry," he huffed, "these two wouldn't ummm, they wouldn't be quiet?" Louis struggled to find a nicer way to say it, his mum with an amused look on her face.

"That'll do. Go and lay the table."

"Alright. C'mon munchkins, you can help me. You can grab the forks Dais, and you get the knives Phoebe." He told them as they opened the drawer. "That's it, 7 of each." He reached out, taking their free hands and leading them to the dining room table.

Harry let a small smile appear on his face as he watched the interaction.

"He's a wonderful big brother, isn't he." Jay beamed proudly. "They absolute adore him."

Harry nodded, "he is."

"You should go and sit down, I'll call the other girls in and I'll dish the food out."

"Okay." Harry nodded, plodding into the dining room. "Um, where should I sit?"

"Do you wanna sit here? The twins will have a fit if you sit in their chairs. Oh, and by the way, Fizzy will probably sit next to you. She has a massive crush on you."

"I'm honoured." Harry let out a small giggle, scraping out the chair and sitting down. 

"You should be. She doesn't take a liking to many people."

Harry gave him another small smile as Louis sat at the end of the table, next to him.


	22. Chapter 22

"Thank you for dinner. It was lovely." Harry smiled. "Um, and thank you for listening to me." He added.

"Of course darling. I hope we'll see you again soon. And don't hesitate to come to me if you have any problems." Harry's eyes flickered to Louis, as if asking if he was allowed over, Louis giving him a small nod.

"Thank you. I should get going now though."

"Are you gonna be in normal lessons tomorrow?" Louis asked.

"No, I'm not allowed until I'm 'better' apparently." Harry rolled his eyes slightly. "They don't want the bullying to make me attempt again." He added quietly.

"Oh. Right. Well I might see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah, bye. Thank you again."

//

A few weeks passed, Harry apparently getting 'better', at least to his temporary therapist he was. But in reality he wasn't getting any better at all. He knew people talked about him at school, even if he wasn't in lessons to experience it. He could hear the whispers when he went to the toilet or walked to his locker. It was terrifying.

And his uncle hadn't gotten any better, instead bringing more men back as he 'was weak' so wouldn't be able to run. And he was right, however luckily nothing too extravagant had happened, only a few hand jobs and men touching him inappropriately, at least through his clothes, which was still awful. Every time he touched someone or they touched him in a sexual way he felt so ill afterwards. He would sit in the bathroom, throwing up and scrubbing at his skins violently to try and wash away the looming feeling of being a dirty whore. But it never went away.

As more and more people came over, he went more and more back into his shell, which he had barely begun to come out of. He flinched away from every touch, scared they would try to take advantage of him.

He had been cutting, not on his wrists where they now looked each check up, but on his thighs as a way to release some of the anxiety and feel in control of something. It's not like he didn't deserve to punish himself, he was disgusting.

And it wasn't under good circumstances when Harry next appeared at Louis's door, shaking violently.

He banged at the door urgently, whipping his head around to check behind him. The door soon opened and he fell in, collapsing to the floor in choked sobs.

"Oh my god, mum!" Louis called out, moving Harry to sit against the wall.

"What's he doing here?" Eleanor asked judgementally, walking up and hugging Louis from behind.

"Els, I think you should go." 

"You're seriously picking him over me? He's a freak Louis!"

"Louis's right. You should go." Jay said firmly as she crouched down by Harry.

"Whatever." She muttered, grabbing her jacket and storming out.

"Harry love, what happened?"

"L-l-lock the d-door!" He whimpered, "a-and the windows, p-p-please!"

"I'll be right back, Louis will stay with you." Jay rushed to lock the doors and shut the windows, not sure what was going on, but knowing Harry was terrified.

"What happened darling?" She asked again as Harry trembled, backing away from Louis's touch.

"Th-there was a m-man and h-he, he t-touched me a-and made me t-touch him but I, but I managed to run before he, um, before h-he did anything else-" Harry gasped, "he, he said I was a-asking for it, b-but I wasn't asking f-for it, I, I just s-smiled at him because h-he's a regular where I w-work-" He hiccuped, rocking back and forth. "H-he was chasing m-me-"

"Breathe love, breathe. Deep breaths." Jay moved to rub his back, a frown upon her face. "You're safe here, we're not going to hurt you."

"I'm s-so scared." He whimpered.

"Oh my darling. It'll be okay."

"Can I have a shower?" He asked quietly, "please."

"Of course. Come on."

"N-no, y-you don't wanna touch me." He murmured as she reached out a hand to help him up.

"Take my hand, c'mon."

"But-"

"It's alright." 

He reluctantly took it, allowing her to help him up. His sleeve road up and he quickly moved to tug it back down, earning a sympathetic look from Jay.

"Lou will get you some of his clothes that you can change into afterwards. Take as long as you need."

He nodded, following her to the downstairs bathroom, sitting on the toilet seat shakily as she started the shower.

"Do you want to stay here tonight?"

Harry looked up at her blankly as he tried to register what she had said before finally giving a "yes please." 

"I'll just fetch the clothes for you, I'm sure Louis will have gotten them by now, and then you can hop in the shower."

"I feel so dirty."

"I know you do darling. But you'll be alright. Everything is going to be okay."

Harry looked up to her, "is it?" He asked, his voice cracking.

"It is." She nodded, walking off to get the clothes. 

"Take as long as you need." She put them down, giving him a smile before shutting the door behind her.

Harry moved to lock the door before stripping off and stepping into the shower. The showers Harry was used to were lukewarm at the best, so be relished in the warmth of this one.

His legs were shaking so much that he could hardly stand, but he managed it. He scrubbed at his body furiously, turning the cold water off so that the water was now boiling.

By the end of the shower his skin was red and it stung. But he felt he deserved it. 

Once he was dry he ambled out, standing awkwardly by the doorway. 

"Sit down love. Dinner will be ready in a minute." Jay gestured to the table.

"'m not really hungry." 

"Are you sure? You should probably eat something."

Harry shook his head, "I think I'll be sick if I eat."

"Alright. I'll save you some just in case. You can go and watch TV in the living room or just sit here if you want."

He made his way into the living room where he sat down gently, curling up. He pulled the sleeves of Louis's hoodie down over his hands, thankful that it was baggy.

"Hawwy!" Daisy ran into the room, heading over to him.

"Daisy, leave Harry alone please." Jay called from the kitchen.

"It's okay." He called quietly as Daisy climbed onto his lap.

"Why are you sad?"

"Um, something not very nice happened to me. I'm alright though." He offered her a smile.

"Don't be sad Hawwy."

"Come on Dais. Dinner time." Louis took Daisy off Harry's lap, tossing her over his shoulder as she giggled. Louis turned back to face Harry, mouthing a "sorry."

A few minutes later Louis returned, sitting next to Harry on the sofa. Harry didn't notice for a while, too lost in his thoughts. When he finally did notice, he jumped back, startled.

"H-how long have you been there?"

"A couple of minutes. How are you?"

"Do you actually care?"

"Of course I do."

"Why do you say that like it's obvious?"

"Look, I know I'm a dick. And I'm sorry for that. Like really sorry. And I don't wanna be like this anymore. I started off like this in year 7 and I would've stopped once I realised how bloody pathetic it is but...you know, Zayn and Stan kinda pressured me. And-"

"You didn't want to lose your reputation."

"It wasn't that. I was scared of people bullying me. And I know that's no excuse seeing as I'm such a twat but yeah...I'm sorry. Also I know you won't forgive me, I just wanted to let you know."

"I do forgive you." Harry said quietly.

"What? But why? Don't you like, hate me with all your heart?"

"No. I forgive you. Everyone makes mistakes."

"But this wasn't just a mistake Harry." Louis sighed.

"I still forgive you."

Louis frowned, looking Harry up and down. "Are you just doing this to make me happy? I've noticed you do that a lot."

"I'm not. I just don't like conflict or anything. And I understand why you did it."

Louis sighed, Harry definitely should not be giving in so easily. Louis had literally made his life hell for the past few years and here Harry was, willing to forgive him after a few words.

"Okay." He huffed, knowing Harry probably wouldn't back down.


	23. Chapter 23

"You never answered my question." Louis said, Harry frowning at him. "Are you alright?"

"Not really." He admitted. "I feel so dirty. It's my fault really."

"What? Are you having a laugh?"

"No, I led him on."

"Harry, it is not your fault that some fucking noncey old man did what he did. You're a literal child. You're underage, he's a creep. And I'm sure you didn't beg for him to do it, so it's not your fault. And even if you did beg for it, if he had done it, he would be in the wrong still." 

Harry looked to his hands, shifting uncomfortably. "I told him I didn't want it...but he threatened me. A-and I tried to push him off b-but he was stronger than me."

"We need to tell the police."

"Can't." Harry shook his head, "don't want people to know."

"What if it happens to someone else?"

"I-I don't even know his name."

"Who might?"

"I don't know. My boss might." He mumbled. "But I really don't want anyone to know. It's so embarrassing and people will make fun of me."

"That's a disgusting thing for people to make fun of you for. I know I've been awful, but I'd never go that low. Plus, you won't have to tell him what happened exactly."

"Okay, maybe. Um, can we stop talking about it?"

"Yeah, yeah. Sure. Do you want to sleep in my room?"

"If you don't mind." He looked at him in embarrassment, "'m scared of being on my own."

"I don't mind. Do you want to go upstairs now?"

He nodded, "can I maybe just lie down? I-I just don't wanna think anymore."

"Surely you're still going to think even if you're lying down." Louis looked to him blankly.

"Can you talk to me? I don't care what about I just need a distraction." Harry asked quietly. No doubt Louis would think he's an even bigger weirdo than he already did.

"Course. Let's go and get your bed set up and I'll ramble to you." Louis gave him a smile, holding his hand out to help him up.

"Erm, you don't want to touch me." Harry murmured.

"I don't care. Come on."

Harry reluctantly took his hand, allowing Louis to pull him up. "Aren't your friends going to be horrible to you if you stop you know, bullying me?" He asked quietly.

Louis shrugged, "if they do, what can I do. I'm done with being a prick just so I don't get bullied. I didn't realise how much I was hurting you. And you seem cool."

"But I'm gay..."

"If I'm being honest with you, I don't give a shit. Zayn's been brought up thinking it was wrong and I guess he kind of pushed his views onto me but deep down I don't care. And Stan is just an arsehole."

Harry nodded in agreement as Louis put his head around the kitchen door. "We're going up to my room." He told his mum before walking upstairs, Harry following close behind.

Louis quickly ran off, leaving Harry stood awkwardly on the landing until he returned with the duvet and pillow, duvet covering his view again, of course.

Harry took it from him, putting it down in the corner of his room. Louis tugged out the mattress, placing the pillow down and moving the duvet. "Sit. Or lie, whatever." Louis instructed, falling back onto his bed. "What do you want me to talk to you about?"

"Anything. Just... anything, anything to get my mind off it."

"Ummm, I'm boring as fuck so god knows. I'll just give you shitty facts about myself? Yeah, that'll do. Umm, my name's Louis William Tomlinson, I'm 17, my birthday is on Christmas Eve. Umm, my favourite colour is green, my favourite animal is a frog-"

"A frog?" Harry raised his eyebrows.

"Frogs are cute." Louis retaliated, "don't judge frogs."

"'m not." Harry giggled. "Just thought you'd be more of an eagle person?"

"A fucking eagle? You have got to be having a laugh. What do you think I am?"

"Alright, not an eagle. Maybe a lion, or a hyena?"

"Hyenas are ugly."

A small pout fell into Harry's face, "don't be mean." 

"I'm not being mean."

"You are. If the hyenas heard you calling them ugly they'd be sad."

"Like you are?" Louis asked with a furrowed brow.

Harry was immediately silenced as he looked down to his hands.

"You know you're not actually ugly right?"

Harry looked up, frowning. "What?"

"You're not ugly."

"I am...if I wasn't then why does everyone say I am?" Harry asked, genuinely confused.

Louis took a deep breath, letting out a sigh. "Honestly, I don't know. Ever since we started picking on you, there wasn't anything to actually make fun of you for so we made things up. Like, have you looked in a mirror? You're obviously not ugly."

"I am. I just, I am."

"Tell me what you dislike about yourself."

"Don't really wanna."

"Come on."

"I don't know, I just hate my face in general. And I'm too pale and skinny and I've got big bags under my eyes and I look like a ghost or something." He mumbled.

"Believe me when I say that you're not ugly at all. Not one bit."

"I can't. I can't believe you. I'm sorry."

"Why not?"

"Because I've been told I'm using by everyone but my mum and sister for my whole life. It can't just change."

"I'm sorry. I-I didn't think you believed us, I thought you knew you weren't ugly."

Harry just shrugged. "It's alright. 'm used to it I guess."

"You shouldn't be."

"Well, what can I do?" Harry forced a smile onto his face as he lay down, curling up on his side.

"Do you want me to keep talking to you?"

"No. It's alright. Thank you though."

"Would you like me to play some music or something then?"

Harry nodded, "um, yeah. That would be nice."

"What kinda thing do you like?"

"Um, I like Arctic Monkeys and Green Day and stuff but I don't think it's very calming."

"I'll just put a chill playlist on." Louis suggested, "is that alright?"

"Mhm. Whatever's fine. I just want to forget."

"How do you usually forget things that you want to forget?"

"I don't. Well, I-I drink sometimes...get drunk. It works but it's not good in the mornings. But I only do that when my uncle isn't home."

Louis's eyebrow shot up, "really? Well I don't reckon it's a good idea for you to get drunk now."

"Yeah, thought not. And stop looking at me like that."

"You just don't strike me as the 'drown my sorrows in alcohol' sort of person."

"I guess you don't know me." Harry said.

"Why don't you tell me about yourself?"

"Like you did? Like just facts?"

"Yeah, tell me whatever." Louis rolled over so he was facing Harry, propping his head up on his bent arm.

"Um, m'name is Harry Edward Styles, 'm 16. My favourite animal is a hedgehog and my favourite colours are blue and pink."

"When's your birthday?"

"I-I don't really celebrate my birthday."

"Why not?" Louis tilted his head.

"Um, we can't afford it. And my uncle doesn't even know when my birthday is."

"Oh...I'm sorry."

"It's alright. It's not the worst thing."

"You deserve to celebrate a birthday."

"I did with my mum. But I hate my birthday now."

"Well, when is it?"

"February 1st. Why?"

"Just wondered. Anyway, you should go to sleep. I expect you're exhausted."

"I am a bit." He nodded.

"Go to sleep." Louis turned the light off.


	24. Chapter 24

"Harry?" Louis sat up groggily, rubbing his eyes as he squinted to see the curled up boy. "What are you doing?"

"I-I...uh, I-fuck-" He stammered out, "I, I'm s-scared..." He finally admitted. "I, I just had an anxiety attack."

"Oh god, are you alright?" Louis sat up fully. 

"I'll be fine."

"But what about now?" 

Harry took a deep breath, he removed his fingers from where he was pressing on his scars before finally coming out with a "not really." 

"Do you wanna come up here?" Louis shuffled over, patting the empty space on his bed.

"I-I'll be okay, you can go back to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you."

"C'mon." Louis instructed, "you look far too scared to be left alone."

"It's okay, honestly. 'm used to being alone."

"You shouldn't have to be. Just come and lie on the bloody bed will ya?"

Harry stood up, holding onto the wall as he stepped towards Louis's bed and settled down on it.

"Talk to me."

"I'm scared. I-I, I don't wanna go home." Harry never would've admitted that if he wasn't so drowsy and was thinking straight.

Louis reached down to pull the covers back over them both, "why not?" 

"B-because my uncle hates me, and I can't tell him about what happened, h-he'll just be mad."

"Stay here as long as you need." Louis told him, "don't feel you have to go home if you really don't want to." He knew Louis couldn't see it, but he couldn't speak, so he just smiled appreciatively. Harry felt his breath hitch as Louis shuffled closer, hugging him. "Is this alright? I know you don't trust me but you like hugging and I thought it might comfort you."

"I-It's nice." Harry nodded, inhaling shakily. "Thank you."

"Sleep well."

"You too."

And soon enough, Harry did fall asleep, to Louis's heartbeat. Louis however, could only concentrate on the boy who was releasing small sighs against Louis's chest. 

Shit. 

Louis may or may not have a teeny tiny crush on him. Only a small one. But he couldn't. He was with Eleanor, he couldn't have a crush on the boy he had bullied for the past 4 and a half years, could he?

He willed himself to think of other things, eventually joining Harry in his slumber.

The next morning Jay peered through the door, thinking the boys may be awake for breakfast, but she was instead met with the sight of them cuddled up together in Louis's bed.

Harry's face was pressed into Louis's chest as Louis held him close, his head upon Harry's.

She smiled, backing away and shutting the door softly. "Girls, quiet please." She asked as the twins ran past her. "Louis and Harry are asleep. How about we go and watch the telly? Yeah?"

They nodded eagerly as she picked them up, placing one on each hip and carrying them down the stairs to the living room.

"What time is it?" Fizzy yawned as she entered the room, flopping onto the sofa next to them.

"10 my love. Did you have a good sleep?" Jay brushed the hair out of Fizzy's face.

"Yeah. Where's Lou?"

"Still in bed sweetheart."

"But he's always up at like 9?"

"I know. Him and Harry are still asleep though. They must be tired. What do you want for breakfast?"

"Can I have Weetabix?" She asked, now distracted by the TV.

"Of course you can. Daisy, Phoebe? Same for you?"

They nodded, eyes fixed on the TV.

//

Harry groaned, stretching out before he realised where he was, and how close he was to the person next to him.

He backed away from Louis until he fell off the bed, fortunately landing on the mattress he was supposed to use.

"What just happened?" Louis sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"Fell off the bed." Harry smiled sheepishly, "suppose a single bed isn't meant for two people."

Louis let out a chuckle as he looked down at Harry. "How are you feeling?"

"Um, good as I can I guess." 

"What time are you going home?"

"I don't know. Would you like me to go now?" Harry looked up with wide eyes.

"No. No, I didn't mean it to sound like that. I was just wondering. You said you didn't want to go home so don't, of course you'll have to soon but you can stay here as long as you want."

Harry sighed in relief, he couldn't quite manage going home yet. However he wasn't sure he'd be able to manage it anytime, "thank you. Um, I have work at 5, so I'll probably be out by 4."

"Are you alright to be working?"

"I gotta."

"But are you alright to?"

"Doesn't matter if I am or not. At the end of the day I have to work."

Louis frowned at that, "let's go get some breakfast."

//

"Thank you for letting me stay here but I need to get to work." Harry smiled shyly. "Um, you won't tell anyone, will you?"

"Course not. But you can't go to work love." Jay looked at him in confusion.

"I need to. It's fine, it's quite relaxed."

"You promise me you'll tell your boss if you need a break or get overwhelmed." She said sternly, Harry nodded.

"I will."

"Okay. Good. I'll drive you."

"It's alright. I'll walk. I could probably do with the fresh air." He smiled gratefully at the offer. "Thank you though."

"Okay, be safe."

//

"Harry, can I talk to you for a minute?" Paul asked, pulling Harry aside.

Harry nodded, looking up expectantly.

"Um, so my wife has got a high paying job and we're moving away for it. So I won't be your boss here anymore, someone else will be taking over."

"O-oh. When are you going?" Shit. Paul always looked out for him, making sure he ate and letting him take a break when things got too hard. What if his new boss was horrible? 

"Tomorrow, I know it's short notice but I hadn't seen you to tell you."

"Oh, okay. Um, okay." Harry gulped. "Thank you for looking after me. I wish I could repay you."

"There's no need to repay me." He smiled. "You have my email if you need anything."

Harry nodded, "yeah. Um, I should get back to work."

"I'll say goodbye to you before your shift ends. Go on, go and do whatever you're doing."

Well shit. Life was going brilliantly.


	25. Chapter 25

Louis was walking through the park with Zayn and Liam when he spotted the curly haired boy sat by the lake. "Um, I'll catch up with you guys later. I'm just going to go and see Harry." Louis smiled, walking over quickly as Zayn raised an eyebrow and Liam gave a knowing smile.

"Hi Harry." Louis greeted him brightly. They had been talking a lot more recently, and were now probably classed as friends, much to Zayn and Stan's dismay. "You alright?" He added with a frown as he noticed Harry's quiet demeanor.

"No." Harry grumbled.

"What's wrong?"

"I was fired from my job and nowhere else will take me. I haven't told my uncle yet but he's getting suspicious."

"Oh. Surely it would be best to just tell him?"

"It's not that easy. He'll probably get really angry."

"Why did you get fired?"

"We got a new boss and apparently I was a 'shitty worker who used my anxiety as a pathetic excuse to get out of work'. I didn't even use it to get out of fucking work, I did everything he asked." Harry sighed, "it's not fucking fair. I don't wanna be here anymore."

"First of all, that was so out of line I'm sorry. And second of all, what do you mean? Here?"

"Here." Harry gestured around, "I don't wanna be alive." He added quietly.

"You're not thinking of attempting again, right?" Louis's eyes widened at Harry's confession.

Harry didn't respond, instead tossing a stone into the lake, watching as the water rippled.

"Don't you dare."

"Okay." He murmured, "um, you better go, your friends look like they want to kill me before I can do it myself. Well, Zayn does. Liam's just smiling at me creepily." Harry joked.

"It's not funny." Louis frowned, "promise me you won't attempt."

"For now." Harry gulped, "see you Louis."

"Bye Harold. And I'm sorry about Stan yesterday. I tried to stop him."

"It's fine. Go catch up with them." 

With a ruffle of Harry's hair, Louis had ran off after his friends. Harry grabbed another stone, throwing it into the water as he furrowed his brow. Of course he'd have to tell his uncle soon. But he was scared.

//

"Oi, Styles! What the fuck are you doing?"

"U-um, I was gonna eat?" Harry raised an eyebrow, cowering away from Stan.

"Don't get fucking smart. I mean with Louis. Why are you brainwashing him?"

"What? What do you mean?" Harry looked around for Niall, where the hell was he?

"Why's he telling us to leave you alone? What've you told him?"

"N-nothing." He frowned, "I've not said anything."

"Yeah, sure you haven't." Stan rolled his eyes, "you pathetic fag."

"Stan! There you are, coach wants to to talk to us."

"You're lucky this time Styles." Stan spat, "give me that." He held out his hand for Harry's lunch, aka an apple.

"B-but-" it was the first thing he'd eaten in 3 days, only having it after finding it below an apple tree in someone's front garden, and it was probably the only thing he'd have for the next few days.

"Give it to me." 

Harry reluctantly put it in his hand. Stan rolling it in his hand before following Zayn. 

So Harry was now bound to go hungry that week, bound to get beaten up by his uncle, and bound to get beaten up by Stan.

"Hey mate." Niall sat down next to Harry, "sorry I'm late out. My fucking geography teacher wanted me to stay behind. She literally just flirted the whole time."

"You may as well get with her." Harry joked, "only a 20 year age gap."

"Fuck off." Niall flipped him off. "Everything alright?" He noticed Harry's gaze drift to the ground.

"Yeah. Just haven't told my uncle about losing my job yet and I'm just worried about it."

"It'll be alright." Niall patted his shoulder, giving him a smile.

"Yeah. I'm just overthinking it." Harry shrugged, forcing a smile. "It'll be alright." He repeated Niall's words.

"C'mon, let's go to class."

//

"Hey, stop it." Louis hissed, hitting the back of Stan's head as he threw yet another ball of paper at the back of Harry's head.

Harry tried his best to ignore it, as well as the snickers of his classmates, but he still wanted to cry.

"Why?" Stan replied, laughing, "it's funny. Don't tell me you've turned into a softy."

"I just think you should leave him alone." Louis mumbled.

"Yeah?" Stan smirked, quirking an eyebrow, "and why's that?"

"Because he's nice and has a lot going on and he doesn't deserve this shit."

"Fucks sake Tommo, stop being a wetwipe."

"Why don't you stop being a dick? You're putting him through pain for what? Your enjoyment?"

"Yeah. Sounds about right."

"Fuck off." Louis groaned.

"Stan, just leave him alone." Liam added.

"God, at least Zayn's not a wuss."

"Yeah, well if Zayn's got any respect for me he'll stop and he'll realise how wrong it is, like I did."

"K." Stan shrugged.

Harry let out a small smile as he looked at his desk. Louis was sticking up for him. 

"What are you smiling at you freak?" Someone he hadn't cared to learn the name of, stared at him.

"Leave him alone." Louis sighed. The girl glared at him but chose to remain silent, knowing not to get onto Louis's bad side.

The bell rang, all of the students rushing out. "Louis?" Harry called timidly.

Louis hardly heard his quiet voice, but turned around anyway, allowing a small smile to appear on his face as he noticed it was Harry who had called after him.

"Alright Harry?" Louis hung back from the crowd.

He beamed shyly, "thank you for sticking up for me." 

"Course. I'll see you tomorrow." Louis grinned.

"Yeah. See you."


	26. Chapter 26

"Zayn? C'mere." Louis beckoned him over.

"Yeah?" He ambled over, hands in his pockets.

"Um basically, can you stop being a dick to Harry please?"

"I-"

"And I know you're going to protest so I'm going to say it again. Stop being a dick to Harry. He's done nothing to deserve it and he has a lot going on."

"He's fucking gay Louis!" Zayn hissed, "not to mention he's a complete and utter loser. He's such a freak and he's always so bloody quiet."

"He has reasons for his quietness, and honestly who cares if he's gay? You only care because you've been brought up thinking it's wrong."

"It is wrong, it's not natural."

"You're not natural." Louis retaliated, immediately frowning at himself. 

"I-what?" Zayn raised an eyebrow, "what sort of response is that?"

Louis shrugged, "I dunno." He muttered. "Just please. I know you think it's unnatural but it's not and you need to get your head around that. You're not going to get far being a homophobic bastard."

"Fine. Fine, for you. But I'm not suddenly going to be bezzie mates with him. He's honestly weird."

"He is not weird!" Louis protested. "But thank you, and Stan will try and persuade you to keep bullying him but promise me you won't."

"Promise." Zayn sighed, "what's the deal with you two anyway? Are you friends?"

"Yeah, my mum likes him and he's come over quite a lot so I've talked to him and he's really sweet. Like really sweet, I called hyenas ugly and he said it was mean. Like he's so precious you know." Louis gushed.

"It sounds like you're more than friends." He raised his eyebrows. "Are you gay?"

"What? No, course not. Plus, you know I'm dating Eleanor."

Zayn wrinkled his nose at the sound of her name. "I don't like her." 

"Great. Why not?"

"Just don't." He shrugged, "she seems proper fake."

"Oh." Louis didn't know what to say to that. 

//

"Harry, why don't you bring Niall and come and sit with us?" Louis asked as he came up behind Harry, begin to wash his hands.

"Where did you come from? You scared me." Harry jumped, putting a hand on his chest.

"The toilet." Louis laughed, "duh. Anyway, you wanna?"

"You sit in the canteen don't you?"

"Yeah, me, Zayn, Liam and Stan and sometimes Eleanor. But I'll keep Stan under control."

"Um, thank you but I can't. I don't like going in there, it's too busy."

"I'll come and sit with you then?"

"Will Zayn and Stan and Eleanor come?"

"I'm not sure. Will it be alright if they do?"

"Um, as I s'pose. As long as they're not mean."

"Alright. And if they are I'll like I don't know. I'll do something though. I'll go get them and meet you where you normally sit, yeah?"

"Okay." Harry nodded.

//

"Oi oi!" Louis shouted, Harry and Niall's heads snapping towards him.

"Hi." Harry smiled, immediately shying away as he noticed the boys behind him.

"Alright." Niall grinned, "sit."

Liam sat down first, next to Niall, Louis sitting next to Harry with Zayn in between.

"No Stan?" Niall quirked an eyebrow.

"Nah. He refused to come with so we've left him on his own." Louis smirked.

"Lighten up." Liam whispered to Zayn who was glaring as the ground.

Zayn shifted his glare to Liam before rolling his eyes.

Niall held out a sandwich for Harry who just shook his head, "c'mon Harry. You haven't had lunch all week." He sighed, "you can't keep denying the food because you feel bad."

Harry blushed, noticing the other boys had heard and were all staring at him. He took the sandwich as to avoid confrontation, unwrapping the clingfilm slowly. "Are you sure?"

"Course I'm bloody sure. You know I bring the extra for you. I wouldn't do that if I wasn't sure."

Harry felt his cheeks heat up again as he took a bite, closing his eyes at how good it tasted, especially after almost a week of no food. "Thank you."

Niall began to talk to Liam, Zayn soon joining in, leaving the pair to have their own conversation.

"What've you eaten this week?"

"I had an apple, but Stan took it." Harry admitted.

"So nothing?"

"Yeah."

"Jesus Christ. You should've come to me. Or at least taken Niall's food."

"Felt bad. And I didn't want to say anything cause it's embarrassing."

"Look, I know about the problems you're having with money. There's no need to be embarrassed when talking to me about it. You can come to me whenever you need help."

"Okay." Harry nodded, "thank you."

//

"Hi mum, guess what. Louis hung out with me today, and his friends Liam and Zayn. I think I'm gonna have an actual group of friends." He grinned. "'m really happy about it, life isn't that good at the moment but this is helping. I've lost my job though, and nowhere else will take me. The only thing I've eaten this week was a sandwich Niall gave me today. But I haven't told Uncle John yet. He's gonna freak out. Well, it's getting dark out, I better go home. I'll come and visit you soon. I love you."


	27. Chapter 27

"Mr Styles! Pay attention!" The third teacher that day scolded him.

He hid his face, biting his lip as he looked up towards the front of the classroom through his eyelashes. "Sorry miss." He mumbled.

He tried his best to focus on the lesson and get rid of the feeling of dread that was settled in his stomach, however he couldn't do it. He had told his uncle about his job situation last night but ran out before anything could happen. Which, in hindsight, was a stupid thing to do.

"Oi, what's up?" Louis kicked his leg gently.

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"You're not." 

"I am." Harry argued.

"No you're not."

"Mr Tomlinson!" The teacher yelled, obviously exasperated, "will you please be quiet!"

"It's important miss." He protested.

"Well, if it's so important would you like to share it with the class?"

"Some important things are private."

"In that case it can wait until after my class."

"Fuckin' hell." He grumbled.

//

"Louis? What the hell are you doing here?" Harry hissed as Louis waltzed into his house. "You have to go."

"Nice to see you too." Louis quipped.

"No, seriously. You have to go."

"Calm down. I bought you some food. Got me mum to make you a basket."

"Did you tell her?"

"Nah, I didn't say it was for you to be honest. I just said I was having a picnic. Actually that's probably a shitty excuse, when have I ever gone on a picnic? Anyway, here you go."

"Thank you." Harry smiled appreciatively, "but, oh shit-oh god-" he began to panic as he saw his uncle stumble in front of the house. There was no way Louis could leave without his uncle seeing him. "Y-you need to hide-"

"What? Are you on something?"

"P-please Louis, just listen..." Harry begged, tears in his eyes. "Get under the table, there's nowhere else, but promise me you'll stay quiet, and you won't come out no matter what, until I say so, promise me."

"Okay, okay, I promise. I feel ridiculous." He muttered as he hid under the table, the table cloth mostly covering him.

"Don't say a word, and don't move."

"Boy? Where the fuck are you?" His uncle slurred as he walked in.

"H-here."

"D'you know how fucking useless you are? Can't even keep a fucking job you fag."

"'m sorry, 'm really sorry, I-I tried, I promise."

Louis shrunk back as he heard a thud, followed by Harry's whimper.

"Well you didn't try fucking hard enough! All you ever do is disappoint everyone! You're good for nothing!"

"'m sorry-" he sobbed as his uncle landed another kick to his curled up body.

Harry gripped the back off his head where his uncle had thrown him against the kitchen side.

"You shouldn't have fucking run away from those men! They would've helped with the money if you hadn't been so fucking frigid!"

"I didn't want to be a fucking prostitute!" Harry shouted, instantly regretting it as he was punched in the face.

"I want you out of my house by tonight. And if you're not there will be consequences. You're just a fucking burden."

"Okay, okay." Harry nodded quickly.

"I'm going out again, I want you gone by the time I'm back."

With that he stormed off, slamming the door.

"You fucking idiot!" Harry yelled as Louis climbed out from under the table, "I fucking told you to fucking go! I-fuck-!" Harry slammed his head back against the cupboard, groaning at pain he felt.

"Hey, it's alright." Louis whispered, resting a hand on Harry's arm. "You're alright."

"I-I need to get my stuff together, you should go. But p-please don't tell anyone."

"I'm not going anywhere. Where are you even planning on going?"

"The park. I don't know, fuck."

"You're staying with us. I'm not talking no for an answer. Jesus Christ Haz." Louis pulled him into a hug, pretending not to notice the way he tensed up. "We'll get your stuff packed up and then take you home and get you cleaned up."

Harry didn't object, knowing this was his best bet. 

"Do you have a suitcase or anything?"

Harry looked down, mumbling a "no."

"I'll get me mum to drop mine off and wait outside, she can take us back. How's that sound?"

Harry nodded.

//

"Right that's the last of the main stuff. Anything else you wanna bring?"

"Um, I dunno." Harry looked around, immediately grabbing his stuffed bunny from his bed. He looked through his desk drawer, taking out his diary and sketchbook along with his colouring pencils.

"You draw?"

Harry nodded.

"Can I see?"

"Maybe later. But not yet. I think I have everything." 

"Right, c'mon then. Let's go out to the car."

Harry followed Louis out shakily, scared to have to admit he was being hurt. "Hi love. Are you alright? Louis hasn't said why you're coming to ours." Jay smiled warmly.

"'m alright, is it okay if I say it later? Don't really wanna talk about it yet."

"Of course it is love. How long do you need to stay here?"

"Oh, um, I don't know, I-I can leave tomorrow if you need."

"No you can't. Where would you go?" Louis retorted. 

"I'll find somewhere."

"No, you're staying with us. No way are you going back there and you have nowhere else."

"I can't just stay with you until I turn 18, that's nearly two years." Harry protested.

"Of course you can." Jay said, it was obviously bad if he couldn't go home and he needed all the support he could get.

"Do you want me to say why Haz?" Louis asked him quietly.

Harry blushed at the nickname, giving him a nod.

"Um, Harry's uncle abuses him-" Louis winced as Harry's face dropped and he scratched at his wrists, "and he kicked him out today because he lost his job."

"Oh darling!" Jay gasped, "you're living with us. We have a spare room that you can sleep in."

"But that's going to be expensive and I don't wanna cause you any inconvenience-"

"You can stop right there. You won't be causing us any inconvenience. And I think it will be good for Louis to have another boy in the house." She smiled at him. "Our home is your home."

"Really?" Harry thought he was going to cry, this was the kindest thing someone had ever done for him.

"Really." She confirmed.

"Thank you so much. I-I, thank you."

"It's no problem."


	28. Chapter 28

"Is anything bleeding?" Louis asked as Harry sat down on his bed.

"Don't think so, just bruised." Harry replied. "Are you sure it's okay me staying here?"

"100%. How 'bout we go get your room ready, yeah?"

"Okay." 

"C'mon then." Louis walked into the spare bedroom, Harry following him.

"Wait, is this really where I'll be staying?" Harry looked around in shock. It was just a normal bedroom to most people, but to Harry it was amazing.

"Yep." Louis chuckled. Do you wanna start putting your stuff out?"

Harry nodded, "I'm so grateful. Thank you so much."

"I'm looking forward to this. Right, you want me to put your clothes away?"

"Um, if you don't mind. I'm gonna do the other stuff."

"Alright." Louis began to put it away, humming into the silence. A few minutes later he was already done, "Jesus Christ, we need to get you more clothes."

"Absolutely not, you've already done enough."

"All you have is two t-shirts, a pair of joggers and a hoodie." Louis raised his eyebrows.

"I know, it's pathetic. It's all I can afford though."

"I'm definitely getting you more clothes. And it's not pathetic, you literally worked so hard all the time. Anyway, I'm gonna help you with the rest of your stuff."

"Alright boys?" Jay walked into the room, "I've bought cookies I made earlier." She placed the plate on the desk. "How are you Harry?"

Harry shrugged, "'m alright. It's something I'm used to."

"You shouldn't be used to it. And what about the getting kicked out?"

"Um, I'm happy about it, well the way it's worked out. It was horrible living with him."

"What was it like?" Louis asked curiously.

"He hurt me if I did something wrong or didn't do something, and there was never any food in the house and I could hardly use water, I was only allowed cold showers and I had to drink the beer he wasted money on." Harry blushed, realising he had said probably too much, "sorry."

"That's awful, and don't be sorry. I asked." Louis shuffled to place a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Um, is it alright if I maybe just go to sleep in a bit?" Harry asked awkwardly.

"Of course. If you want to go into Louis's room I'll sort out your bedding and stuff."

"Thank you."

//

"Um, Louis?" Harry peered around the door, Louis beckoned for him to come in.

"Nobody's gonna come into my room whilst I'm asleep are they? It's just I usually sleep in my boxers." Harry's cheeks flushed, "sorry, this is embarrassing."

"It's fine." Louis chuckled, "nah, nobody's gonna come in, you'll be alright."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Night Harry."

"Goodnight." He murmured sleepily, stifling a yawn as he ambled back to his room.

The bed was soft, and Harry instantly drifted off, his dreams full of happiness for once.

He awoke the next morning to sunlight creeping in through the gap in his curtains, casting a shadow on his face. He sat up, rubbing his eyes as he walked over to the wardrobe, grabbing his joggers and a hoodie, despite the warmth, and making his way into the shower.

As much as he wanted to wear a t-shirt, the only ones he owned were short sleeved, and he didn't exactly want everyone seeing his wrists.

He walked downstairs anxiously, keeping his arms tight around his waist as he entered the kitchen where Louis was sat at the breakfast bar. 

"Morning, pancakes?" Louis asked through a mouthful of food.

"What?" Harry frowned.

Louis held his hand out, chewing quickly until he swallowed his mouthful with a gulp. "Morning, do you want pancakes?" He repeated.

"Oh, um, yes please."

"Aren't you boiling? Like it's really hot today." Louis said, gesturing to his sleeves.

"Oh, um, I-I," Harry stammered, "you know..."

"Huh?" Louis frowned.

"Cuts." He murmured, busying himself with getting a drink as he hid his blushed face.

"Oh." Louis's eyes widened in realisation. "You don't have to hide them, y'know?"

"I do, 'm not comfortable with people knowing how I feel, especially knowing when I've hurt myself."

"You still do it?"

"Yeah. 'm not just gonna stop."

"Good morning." Jay beamed as she walked through the front door, placing her shopping bags on the side, hugging Louis as she waved at Harry.

"Morning mum. Daisy and Phoebe are in the living room." Louis smiled as he leaned into the hug.

"Alright, I'll go and see them. How are you Harry?"

"Good thank you."

"Good, good I'm glad. I didn't ask yesterday, but do you have any things you can't eat or don't like?"

"I'll eat anything." Harry told her, "'m not fussy."

"Alright. Well I'll see you two later."

//

"Harryyy." Louis knocked on the door, skipping in when Harry said he could come in. "I've got a surprise for you."

Harry looked up with confusion obvious in his face.

Louis gave him a toothy grin as he pulled out a box from behind his back. "Open it."

Harry took it warily, turning it around in his hands. "You're shit at wrapping."

"Hey." Louis frowned, "that's not very nice."

"Sorry." Harry giggled, he tugged at the paper, gasping as he saw the box beneath. "No way."

"Yes way."

"A phone!? You got me an actual phone? No fookin' way." He looked up to Louis with tears threatening to spill.

"Yes fookin' way." Louis laughed.

"Oh my god, thank you so much." Harry sniffed as he wiped a stray year away. He stood up, hugging Louis quickly. "Sorry, 'm sorry. I don't know why I did that."

"Don't worry about it. I honestly don't care." Louis returned the hug, rubbing up and down Harry's back.

"I don't deserve this."

"Of course you do. You do more than anyone."

"No I don't. But thank you so much."

"You're welcome, let's get it set up."


	29. Chapter 29

"Oi, Harry." Niall nudged Harry, who turned to him quickly as he snapped out of his trance.

"What are you smirking at?" Harry frowned.

"You may want to stop staring at Louis." Niall pointed out, "it's kinda creepy. Like you have this creepy love stare."

"I do not love Louis." Harry protested.

"I never said you did." Niall giggled.

"You implied it." He grumbled.

"Well who else is that fond look for? Surely it's not Eleanor."

"Shut up." Harry blushed, "I don't love Louis." He mumbled, more to himself than Niall.

"And I don't love food. So why are you staring at him?"

"Because he's pretty." The blush didn't leave, instead growing darker.

"You like him."

"Okay I may have a small crush on him, only a small one though."

"Only a small one." Niall repeated, trying to hide his smirk with his hand. "Well, he's coming over here."

"Alright lads?" Louis flopped down next to them. "Eleanor was being annoying so I thought I'd come say hello."

"What was she doing?"

"Pestering me about coming over tonight. I've already told her that I'm busy."

"What are you doing tonight?" Niall asked curiously.

"Harold and I are going to be watching The Notebook with Lottie, it's her birthday so she wanted us to. Can't say I'm excited, it's proper cheesy."

"Cute." Niall remarked, "well have fun."

//

Harry settled down in the corner of the sofa, Louis sitting next to him.

"Alright Lotts, you can play the movie now." Louis smiled.

"Have you watched it before?" Lottie asked Harry who nodded.

"Yeah, couple years ago. It's one of my favourites."

"Course it is." Louis chuckled, "you do seem like the type for cheesy romantic films. Actually I bet you're a proper romantic."

"Stop flirting," Lottie groaned, "I wanna watch it."

"Sorry." Louis ruffled her hair, causing her to hit his arm.

"Piss off!"

"Hey! Lottie, just because you're 13 it doesn't mean you can swear." Louis began to tickle her, causing her to wriggle around.

Harry let out a small giggle at their interaction, squealing as Louis moved to tickle him instead, "what are you laughing at, ey?" Louis grinned.

"Right that's it, I'm playing it."

Louis stopped tickling Harry, instead flopping back down and resting his head on his shoulder.

//

"Are you crying?" Louis raised his eyebrows as he leaned up to look at Harry.

"No?" Harry responded, quickly wiping his eyes.

"Yes you are. You're so soppy." Louis let out a quiet giggle as he moved to wipe Harry's tears away, freezing once he realised what he was doing. "Sorry."

"'s alright." Harry whispered softly. "Can you lie back down though? You were warm." He blushed.

"Mum, they're doing it again!" Lottie groaned.

"Oi, doing what?" Louis flicked her.

"Flirting and being all lovey dovey." She said, pretending to gag.

"Am not." Louis protested.

"Are too." She retorted, "don't try to kid yourself Lou."

"Lottie, have you finished the movie yet?" Jay asked as she smirked at Louis.

"Yeah, just now."

"Do you want to come and help me with the cake?"

She nodded, following Jay to the kitchen.

"Do you wanna watch something else?" Harry asked shyly.

"We should get up..."

"Oh...yeah."

"Let's watch Frozen."

"Okay."

//

"Mum, look." Lottie grabbed Jay's sleeve, dragging her into the living room where the pair were fast asleep.

"Bless them. Try not to let the twins wake them." Jay admired the two before going back into the kitchen. 

Ever since Harry had moved in, he had been treated like one of the family, and Jay felt it was up to her to make sure he was happy. She knew he still cried himself to sleep some nights, but he seemed happier in himself, and less shy. And she was proud of him.

And if Louis were to break up with Eleanor and date Harry instead, she definitely wouldn't be complaining. She wasn't Eleanor's biggest fan, she thought her to be rude and self-centred, not to mention horrible. She certainly didn't know what Louis saw in the girl. 

But Harry, Harry was a sweetheart. He wanted the best for people, even those who had hurt him. He never wanted anyone to suffer. Especially not as he had. 

//

"Harryyy, what are you doing?" Louis sat on the end of Harry's bed.

"Sleeping." He murmured.

"No you're not, it's like 12. Plus, you just spoke to me."

"Mmm."

"Mum want to know if you want to come shopping with us?"

"Can't." He whispered.

"Why not?" Louis frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I-I can't leave my bed." He turned to Louis with tears in his eyes. "My anxiety is really bad. 'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry love. Is there anything I can do to help?" 

"I dunno...I dunno what to do. Whenever it's this bad normally I still have to go to school and I just have loads of panic attacks. I don't know what to do." He was shaking.

"If you try and distract yourself will it help?" Louis felt so sorry for the poor boy, the fact that he had to try and get through the school day, just to go home to his uncle hurting him, especially when he felt like this.

"I dunno, maybe." 

"Alright. I'm going to go and get us some ice cream and snacks and we'll just put the TV on, yeah? And I'll let my mum know if that's okay?"

"Y-yeah. 's okay."

Louis ran down the stairs quickly, sliding across the kitchen floor. "Mum, we're going to watch TV. Harry's anxiety is really bad and he doesn't want to leave his bed so I'm staying with him."

"Okay darling. I won't come up because I don't want to crowd him but call me if you need anything."

"I will. See you later, love you." Louis rushed back up to Harry's room, sitting next to him on his bed. "You alright?" 

Harry was digging his nails into the sides of his hands and his breathing was heavy.

"Y-yeah." He nodded.

"Well stop that." Louis shuffled near him, grabbing his hands to stop him hurting himself.

"I need to do it." He mumbled.

"Why?"

"Helps."

"What? How? You're hurting yourself."

"I know, I can't explain it. It just helps."

"I don't want you to hurt yourself." Louis frowned.

"I can't help it. It's not like I can just go and cut right now. Gotta do something." He murmured, immediately regretting it, "forget I said that."

Louis looked to Harry worriedly, deciding not to speak and to just keep his hands holding Harry's.

"Um, Louis, my hands..."

"You're not having them back."

"Why not?"

"Cause you're hurting yourself."

"Oh...but Louis I need to."

"Nope."

"Then I need to squeeze something."

"Squeeze my hands then." Louis said.

"Don't wanna hurt you."

"So you'll hurt yourself but not me."

"It's different when it's someone else."

"No it's not."

"Can you stop, please. I don't like talking about." Harry let out an exasperated sigh.

"Okay. Fine. You can have one of your hands back but I'm keeping the other so I know you're not doing it again."

Louis moved back against the wall, keeping Harry's hand in his as he pulled a blanket over them with his free hand. 

Harry fought back a small smile at the feeling of Louis's hand in his, instead turning the TV on. "Thank you for staying with me."

"Of course. Let me know if you ever feel like this and I'll come and see ya."

"Thank you."


	30. Chapter 30

"You've been crying." Louis stated as Harry trudged into the kitchen, sleeves pulled down over his hands.

Jay glanced at Harry from the corner of her eye before returning to chopping the peppers.

"No I've not." He mumbled, keeping his eyes down on the ground.

"Yes you have. What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He slid onto the stool at the breakfast bar, "'m fine."

Louis sat next to him, frowning at his sad posture. "You're not fine."

"I am."

"Louis love, don't force him to talk about it if he doesn't want to."

Harry shot Jay a grateful smile, focusing on his hands again. Louis rested his hand over Harry's, rubbing his thumb over the back of it.

"Do you two want to go and sit down? I'm just dishing up dinner."

"Okay, come on Haz." They moved into the dining room, Louis staring at Harry as he tried to work out what was up.

"What? Why are you staring at me?" 

"No reason."

"Do I have something on my face?" He suddenly looked panicked, tugging at his sleeves, "or somewhere else?"

"No, no, you've not got anything on you."

"Oh...okay. Why then?"

"I was just trying to work out what's wrong, sorry."

"It's not really anything, it's just, you know when you start thinking and you can't stop, just that."

"What about?"

"Everything. Myself really."

"And is there a reason you keep tugging at your sleeves?"

Harry's eyes shot up to Louis's face, "what? No. What do you mean?"

"Nothing, don't worry." Louis dismissed it, he had a feeling Harry had cut but he didn't want to make things worse.

//

"Harry, sweetheart, can I talk to you a minute?"

"Yeah, sure." Harry followed Jay into the kitchen.

"So you know how I asked you if you had a therapist and you said you couldn't afford one?"

"Yeah?" Harry frowned.

"If you apply with the NHS you can get one for free. I think it would be a good idea but it's up to you."

"Oh, um, can I maybe think about it?"

"Of course love, there's no rush. I just thought I'd let you know so you have the option."

"Thank you." He nodded. "Um, yeah, I'll think about it." Harry knew it would probably be a good idea to get a therapist, but he hated talking about his feelings and the stuff that had happened to him. "Um, would I be able to go to Niall's for a bit?"

"Yeah, just make sure you're back by 10."

"Harryyy?" Louis called from upstairs, "can I use your shower, mine is being a bitch!"

"Louis, language!" Jay scolded.

"Yeah, you can!" Harry called back.

"Sorry mum! Thanks Harry! Bye Harry! See you later Harry!"

//

"I don't know what to do." Harry huffed as he sat on Niall's bed. "I need a therapist really, but I don't like talking about my feelings and experiences so what do I do?" 

"If you think about it, there are a lot more pros than cons mate." Niall shrugged, "you should get a therapist, just try it out for a couple of sessions at least. If you really hate it you don't have to continue."

Harry thought for a moment, silently agreeing with Niall. "Do you think it'll really help?"

"I do, I think at least try it. You deserve to be happy."

"Thanks Ni. I think I might try it out for a bit." Harry smiled softly.

//

Louis wondered into Harry's bathroom, pausing as he saw a bloodied razor blade on the counter. "Fuck." He muttered, looking around for no apparent reason. It killed him to know that Harry was hurting himself, nobody deserved to go through that.

Without a second thought he ran back to his room, grabbing his post-it notes and a pen, returning to the bathroom and rinsing the blade off.

He knew better than to throw it out, Harry would just be able to buy more and if he didn't have it, he might find other, more dangerous ways to cut himself, so he instead took to writing a message on the post-it note.

please don't hurt yourself curly, you're loved xxx

And a small, stick this to your mirror as a reminder on the back.

He stuck it to the blade before placing it back under the sink. Louis completely disregarded the shower then -well until later that night- and sat at his desk, beginning to write out lots of tiny notes, not wanting Harry to go a day without.

//

"Lou, can I come in?" Harry asked quietly from the doorway the next morning.

"Hmm? Oh yeah, come in." He sat up, yawning as Harry entered the room with a small smile.

"Thank you, for the note."

"Did it work?"

"No, not really, well it helped, made me feel a lot better, but the urge was still there. But it was really nice."

"In that case I'll just have to keep writing you notes."

"You'll run out of things to say within a few days."

"Doubt it love."

Harry blushed slightly at the pet name, looking down to his lap.

"Um, also, I need advice. Well kind of. I spoke to Niall about it yesterday but um, I don't know if I should go to therapy or not."

"You should try it out. It might help and even if you hate it, at least you've tried."

"That's what Niall said." Harry bit his lip, "can you come down with me to speak to your mum about it please?" He asked timidly.

"Course. Come on."


	31. Chapter 31

"Hi Lou!" Harry looked up, grinning as Louis walked through the front door, his smile quickly dropping as another figure walked through the door. Oh. Louis and Eleanor. He plastered a smile, much smaller than before, back onto his face, timidly muttering a small "hi Eleanor."

Eleanor scoffed, rolling her eyes, making Harry shrink back.

"Hi Haz." Louis smiled back, "we're going to be in my room if you need anything."

"Okay, cool." Harry nodded, feeling a little deflated. Louis had been staying at Eleanor's for the past few days and he never thought he'd say this but he missed him. 

He waited for them to go upstairs before walking out into the kitchen, deciding he would bake something. 

Jay, Mark and the girls had gone away for a few days, Harry had been invited but he declined, not wanting to ruin their family holiday. Plus, if Louis wasn't there he was sure he'd be more bored than being on his own. So over the past few days he had been baking and cooking a lot to keep himself busy.

He put his music on, beginning to dance and sing along as he started to bake his cake.

Half an hour later and he was still dancing and singing, jumping at someone cleared their throat from the doorway.

"Having fun?" Louis smirked.

"Um, yeah?" Harry smiled sheepishly, "'m making a cake."

"I can see that." He laughed, "you have flour on your face."

Harry blushed, "oh...um, did you want anything?"

"Well, I came down to get a drink for me and Eleanor but I got distracted by your twerking."

"I was not twerking." Harry crossed his arms, frowning.

"You so were."

"No I wasn't, I was just dancing."

"Twerking." Louis stated.

"Wasn't."

"Okay, whatever you say Curly." Louis laughed, grabbing two beers out of the fridge. "You have a beautiful voice by the way, oh and nice dance moves." He said with a wink before leaving Harry alone again.

Harry set the timer, making his way up to his room where he sat on his floor, unsure what to do now. He could probably do with getting some homework done as school was starting again in two days, but he really couldn't be bothered.

He let out a groan, falling backwards to lie on the floor as he heard Eleanor's loud laugh from the room next door. 

Harry may or may not have fallen asleep there, awaking with a start as Louis burst into his room, "Harryyy, there's a beepy thing going off!"

"What?" Harry mumbled sleepily, rolling over and stretching.

"Beep beep beep, you know?"

"The fuck are you on about? And why did you wake me up?"

"You were asleep? Shit sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. Well I did, because there's a beepy thing going off in the kitchen, but I didn't know you were asleep."

"My cake!" Harry squeaked, jumping up and running downstairs. He immediately took the cake out the oven, forgetting to use oven gloves, he chucked it onto the side before rinsing his hand under cold water, mumbling a string of swear words.

"Are you alright?" Louis frowned at Harry who was trying not to cry.

"Burned my hand a bit, well it's not burned but the tin was boiling and ow it hurts." He bit his lip, looking to Louis with glassy eyes.

"Hey, it's alright. Just run your hand under cold water for a bit, it will be alright."

"Okay, okay." He nodded, relaxing slightly as Louis began to rub his back soothingly.

"Louis?" Eleanor called out.

"I didn't know she was still here, sorry, you can go and see her."

"No, no, she can come down here if she's that bothered."

"Louis? What are you doing?"

"Come down here." He replied.

"Ugh fine." She walked down the stares, immediately stopping and frowning, "what are you doing? Why are you touching him? You'll literally catch a disease."

Harry turned back to the sink, shrugging Louis's hand off with a small frown.

"What a shame." Louis said sarcastically, "well if I'll get a disease from touching him I hate to break it to you but I'll have passed it onto you. Come to think of it, I did notice you were looking a bit orange, are you feeling alright love?" He bit back his smirk, pressing a hand to her forehead as he faked a look of concern.

"Oh fuck off Louis, don't try to be funny. He's literally such a freak."

"And you have orange skin."

"It's called a tan." She placed one hand on her hip, glaring at him.

"Fake tan."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing...just you're like 10 shades too dark. You kinda look like an, well an orange."

Harry snorted, his free hand immediately flying up to cover his mouth.

"Something funny, fag?" She sneered.

"Okay, apologise right now."

"What? To him? Are you joking?"

"No I'm fucking not. Stop being a bitch."

"You always used to call him a fag and say he had a disease, what's the fucking difference?"

"Key word, used to. I finally realised how fucking wrong it is and I stopped, so what if he's gay? What's wrong with it? Nothing, absolutely nothing."

"Louis, he's a freak." She spat, Harry backing away from her.

"Get out."

"What?"

"I said get out. We're done. We're over."

"What the fuck? Just like that?"

"Yes, just like that. Harry doesn't deserve to be treated that way. Plus, hate to break it to you love but you're toxic."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're a bitch and you try and put everyone down. You literally made fun of me earlier, and not in a bantery way. So goodbye." Louis shot her a sarcastic smile.

"I never liked you in the first place." She growled, flipping him off as she strutted out the door.

"Sure Jan!" Louis called after her, just before the door slammed shut.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked Louis immediately.

"I'm fine, to be honest I'm glad to be rid of her." Louis gave a little shake of his head, "she honestly was a bitch wasn't she?"

"A little bit." Harry winced.

"Don't under exaggerate." Louis let out a small laugh. "Is your hand alright?"

"Bit sore but I'm sure it will be alright. Do you wanna do something?"

"How about we just take a nap? Share my bed, yeah?"

"Okay." Harry beamed, giving a nod. "I'm here if you want to talk to me as well you know, 's not a one way system."

"Thank you Curly. C'mon, let's go sleep."


	32. Chapter 32

"God she really hates me, doesn't she?" Louis raised his eyebrows as Eleanor stalked past, glaring at him.

"It's not like you did anything wrong mate." Zayn shrugged, "never liked her anyways. I told you she was a bitch."

"I know, I know. I don't even like her, but I'd appreciate it if she stopped glaring at me, it's making me uncomfortable."

"She's just eyeing up her prey." Harry giggled, leaning against Louis's shoulder, earning a wink from Niall.

Zayn and Liam watched the interaction closely, noticing how Louis's face turned from annoyed to relaxed within a matter of seconds.

"God what if she attacks me with a shoe or something, girls are brutal when they fight. Like there's hair grabbing and scratching."

"Sounds like what you do in sex." Zayn quipped.

"And how would you know that?"

"You told me."

"I'll have you know I'm a virgin and proud. I'm waiting 'til I find the right person. What about you Curly?"

"Pfft, as if anyone would ever want me." Harry rolled his eyes, suddenly feeling anxious as he remembered all the men that had tried to touch him, and the ones who had succeeded. "Actually, I'm going to go to the toilet a minute." He muttered in Louis's ear before standing up and brushing himself off.

Louis frowned after him, soon realising why Harry might be upset. "Oh shit, I'm going to go after him. I'll be back in a minute." 

"Harry, Harold, are you in here?" He asked as he walked into the bathroom.

"Yeah, in here." He got a small reply.

"Come out."

"I'm gay." He let out a sniffly laugh, Louis giggling. 

"Come here Haz."

Louis heard the door unlock, opening his arms as Harry shuffled out. Harry moved into the hug, letting out a sigh.

"You alright love?"

"Yeah." Harry sighed,"'m fine. I was just thinking about those men. It's obvious they wanted to use me."

"Oh Haz." Louis rubbed his back soothingly, "you're okay now."

"I'm okay." Harry repeated, "I'm okay. Um, let's go back outside. They'll be wondering where we are."

"Okay, come on then."

"Are you okay?" Zayn asked as the trio looked at Harry with worried looks. Zayn had been a lot nicer recently, and he had decided that Harry was in fact lovely.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm good." Harry dismissed it, sitting back down.

Louis took Harry's hand discretely, moving his thumb over the back of his hand. And Zayn may or may not have noticed.

//

"Loueh, you definitely like him or something." Zayn pointed out as the two sat back on Zayn's bed, passing a joint between them.

"No I don't. You know I'm not gay Zayn."

"Do I?"

"Yes. I'm straight, straight as a ruler."

"A bendy ruler." Zayn mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing. But just sayin, I know I've been like, a complete and utter little shit about gays and stuff but I don't believe what I did anymore. When you said that to me I went home and thought about it and you're right, there's nothing wrong with it. So if you are gay, and like Harry, I don't mind."

Louis just nodded.

//

"Harold?" 

"Mhm?"

"Have you had your first kiss yet?" 

"Well, seeing as I haven't become any more popular since you last asked, no. I don't even know how to kiss someone." Harry admitted.

"Do you want me to show you?" Louis smirked, propping his head up with his hand.

"Huh?"

"Teach you how to kiss."

"Um, um okay, yeah." Harry blushed.

Louis sat up on the bed, moving towards Harry. He placed a hand on Harry's cheek, Harry's breath hitching. "Just copy me, alright?"

"Yeah." He let himself relax as Louis pressed his lips against his, he moved them slowly, Harry letting him, going along as best as he could.

His breath hitched again as his tummy began to do flips. Fuck. He was kissing Louis. He was kissing his crush.

Louis pulled away slowly, staring at Harry with his mouth open slightly. Harry's cheeks were flushed and his eyes glazed, lips tinted a rosy colour.

"I take it you've never snogged anyone before?"

"Is that an offer?" Harry gulped.

"Yeah, it is."

"Okay."

Louis knelt, with one leg between Harry's legs, the other on the other side of him. He placed his hand on the back of Harry's neck, lightly grasping the hairs as his eyes flickered back down to Harry's lips. He slowly pressed them against eachother, Harry letting out a soft sigh as Louis sucked on his bottom lip.

Louis leaned forward, pushing Harry down gently. He licked at the seam of Harry's lips, Harry gasping and opening his mouth, allowing Louis to slip his tongue into Harry's mouth.

Harry felt as if he were in heaven. So did Louis.

"Lou, that was really nice." Harry smiled as they pulled apart.

"Yeah." Louis agreed. "It was. You're a natural by the way." 

"Thanks." Harry giggled with a blush.

//

"Niall, we kissed. It wasn't proper or anything but we kissed." Harry burst into Niall's bedroom.

Niall sat up, confusion written all over his face. "Huh? Who did you kiss?"

"Um, so Louis and I were talking about our first kiss and then I said I'd not kissed anyone before and he said he'd teach me and then we kissed." Harry explained, "and snogged." He added on quietly.

"Oh my god, so are you two dating now or something?"

"No...that's the thing. I don't think he likes me like that. After all, he only said he was teaching me. He's straight. But it felt really good."

"Mate, nobody kisses someone just to 'teach them how', like that's weird. I bet he likes you."

"He doesn't, I'm not a girl. And what even is there to like about me?"

"A lot. But like, Harry. I think he likes you. Like he's always touching you even if it's something small like leaning against you and I keep catching him staring at you. And then the other day when he was describing his perfect partner in whatever it was he literally described you."

"Really?" Harry beamed.

"Yeah mate. I would talk to him."

"But what if he doesn't?" He suddenly pouted. "I can't say anything, he'll hate me."

"He would never hate you. And I'm like 99% sure he likes you sooo..."

"I'm not gonna talk to him, I just can't."

"Okay, but I will."

"What? No. Absolutely not."

"I won't say you like him or anything."

"Fine."

Harry went to sleep very happy that night.


	33. Chapter 33

"Louis, come over tonight." Niall jogged up beside Louis. "Need to talk to you."

"Well Harry and I were actually gonna-"

"Cool, so meet me at 6." He grinned, patting Louis on his shoulder before wondering off.

Louis just frowned, wondering what was so important.

"Louis Tomlinson, get to class!"

"I was! I'm literally walking there." Louis retorted. "Like it's around the corner, and if I ran I'd get told off so I'm not going any faster."

"Don't you dare talk back to me."

"I'm allowed to stick up for myself, you're being a dick."

"Right, that's it. Detention."

"No fucking way am I going to detention. What a load of shit." Louis replied before storming into class.

"You're late."

"I know, got held up." He grumbled.

"You alright mate?" Zayn nudged him as he sat down.

"I'm fine. Just some dickhead teacher in a pissy mood. He have me detention but I'm not going. Also Niall wants to talk to me tonight, any clue what about?"

"No idea." He smirked.

"Okayyy?"

//

"Louis William Tomlinson, why have I just gotten a phone call from your teacher saying you skipped detention? Why did you even have detention in the first place?" Jay scolded, Harry raising his eyebrows from the corner of the room.

"Mum, it's nothing. Basically, I was walking to class yeah, and this teacher told me to get to class so I told him I was and he told me not to talk back. But like, I was just saying I was and then yeah."

"Okay." She let out an exasperated sigh, "I'll let you off but behave yourself love."

"Excuse me, I always behave myself." Louis smiled innocently, "also mum, Niall wants me to go to his now because he said he has something to talk to me about so toodleoo." He waved, "see ya Haz."

//

"Right. So Louis. Let's have a little talk." Niall sat on one side of the breakfast bar, clasping his hands together as Louis sat opposite him.

"Okayyy...about what?"

"On a scale of 1 to 10, how gay would you say you are?"

"You what?"

"Answer the question."

"No."

"Okay, so that's a 9." Niall scribbled it down onto the paper.

"Wha-" Louis began to protest before being cut off by Niall.

"What are you thoughts on Harry?"

"Um, he's kind and sweet and funny and cute and adorable."

"Okay, so major crush."

"No I do not." Louis crossed his arms.

"Do. So, would you kiss him?"

"I mean, we already have..."

"I know."

"What?"

"Harry told me. Right so you like him. Just admit it."

"Okay, maybe. Just a little bit. Don't tell anyone." He rushed out.

"Okay, so you like him, he likes you, now you can date."

"He likes me?"

"Oh shit, I want meant to say that. But duh."

"Oh my god." Louis let out a happy sigh, a grin breaking out on his face as he looked to the table shyly. "He actually likes me?"

"Mhm."

"I've gotta go and talk to him." 

"Get in!" Niall grinned, pumping a fist in the air, "go get your man!"

Louis nodded, jumping up and grabbing his coat before running out, texting Zayn a quick 'maybe I am a little bit gay'.

"Harryyy, do you want to go for a walk?" Louis called as soon as he stepped into the house.

"Louis, it's dark out and it's raining."

"I know, grab your coat."

Harry nodded, pulling his shoes on and grabbing his coat, waving to Jay quickly.

"So, Haz. I wanna talk to you about something."

"Okay?" He frowned.

"I like you." 

"Huh?"

"I like you, as like more than a friend. And Niall may have let it slip that you like me back, so I thought I may as well shoot my shot."

"You actually like me?" Harry stopped, looking at Louis in disbelief.

"Yeah." Louis laughed nervously, "I do."

"Oh my god. So, like, when you kissed me did you like me then?"

"Mhm, it was just an excuse to kiss you." Louis blushed.

"D'you wanna kiss me again?"

"Can I?"

"Course." Harry nodded, gasping as Louis gently captured his lips, he moved his hands to Harry's lower back, pulling him closer. For a moment Harry was lost in the sensation, the rain pattering down on them not bothering him in the slightest. They pulled apart, staring into each other's eyes. Harry took a minute to admire Louis. Admire the way the raindrops clung to his long, dark eyelashes, the way his fringe lay flat against his forehead, and to admire what was soon to be his.

Louis was doing the same. He was breathless as he took in the emeralds of Harry's eyes and the rosiness of his cheeks. He was a living Greek statue.

"Will you go on a date with me Curly?" Louis smiled. 

Harry nodded giddily, "yes, yes I will."

"Sick." He grinned, taking Harry's hand. "Let's go back home and cuddle."

//

Jay watched out of the window as the two walked up to the house, hand in hand as they leaned against eachother. She took a sip of her tea, smiling at the sight. It was about time the two finally talked it out between them. 

"Hello darlings." She greeted them as they entered the house, kicking off their shoes and shaking off their shopping coats. "How was your walk?"

"Amazing." Louis said, Harry glancing at him happily.

"I'm glad. Why don't you two get up to bed."

"Okay, night mum."

"Night boys."

Harry began to walk up the stairs, Louis just staring after him. Jay nudged him with a chuckle, causing Louis to blush and quickly run up after him.

"What sorta thing would you wanna do on a date?" Louis propped himself up on one arm as Harry lay next to him in his bed. Louis had finally gotten a double bed so they had spent a lot more time together in Louis's room.

"Um, I don't mind. As long as I'm with you I don't care."

"You like romantic stuff, right?"

"Mhm."

"Cool, I've got an idea." 

"I'm excited. And also very tired so I'm gonna go to sleep. Night Lou."

"Night love." Louis leaned over, switching the light off before pulling the covers over them both and moving to cuddle Harry. "Sleep well."

Harry let out a content sigh, snuggling into his chest, "you too."


	34. Chapter 34

Harry lay down on the grass, head in Louis's lap as he began to make a flower crown. Louis smiled down at him, running his hands through Harry's curls.

"You're so cute." Niall grinned. Liam and Zayn nodding in agreement. "Have you been on a date yet?"

"Tonight." Louis replied, "oi, fuck off!" He flipped off two girls who had stopped to oggle at them.

"Lou, are you sure you're okay with people seeing us together?" Harry murmured, "I don't want you to be embarrassed."

"I'm not embarrassed by you Haz. I have no reason to be."

"Okay." Harry felt slightly more reassured. "Can I put this on you?"

"Go on then." Louis bent his head down, Harry placing the crown on his head.

"You look pretty." Harry giggled as Louis pouted and made a peace sign.

Zayn scoffed jokingly, smiling at the pair. "You'd never let me do that."

"Because you're not Harry." He stated simply.

//

"Louis, take that off will you?" The teacher asked again with an exasperated sigh.

"But miss-"

"His boyfriend made it for him." Zayn smirked.

"He's not my boyfriend yet." Louis glared, "but I don't wanna take it off. What's wrong with expressing myself?"

"Nothing's wrong with expressing yourself, but it's against the school policy, so you'll have to take it off."

"I object."

"For god's sake. Right, you can keep it on for this lesson but if you get told off afterwards there's nothing I can do about it."

"Thank you!" He grinned, "you're my favourite teacher now."

She rolled her eyes with an amused smile, "good to know Louis."

"You look gay." Eleanor spat from in front of Louis.

"I am gay." 

"But you dated me."

"Well done."

"So you can't be gay."

"Well I am, pretty unfortunate isn't it Eleanor?"

"Are you actually joking?"

"Nope, I'm going on a date with Harry tonight."

"Harry? Fucking hell Louis, your standards have dropped."

"No they haven't, they've improved by like miles."

"Don't be so rude!" Her friend gasped, "Eleanor is way too good for you."

"Is she?" Louis asked in a bored tone, "that's nice."

"Um, mate, there's no way Eleanor's too good for Louis." Zayn laughed, "she's a bitch."

"No I'm not you dick!"

"Okay." Zayn shrugged, "if you say so, bitch."

"What the fuck?" She squealed, beginning to rant at Louis and Zayn who just ignored her.

Louis looked up from his conversation as someone knocked on the door, a small smile gracing his face as he recognised his soon-to-be boyfriend. However that smile immediately dropped as he saw how scared Harry looked.

"Um, c-can we h-have 4 of your textbooks please?" He stuttered, speaking quietly as the class stared at him, a few people whispering and laughing.

"What a freak!" Eleanor shouted, Harry shrinking further into himself.

"Shut up!" Louis threw a glue stick at her head, fighting back a smirk as she yelped and turned to glare back at him.

"Miss, can I go and see him?" Louis stood up, looking to Harry who was scratching at his wrists. "Please, this isn't going to be good for him. I need to talk to him before he gets you know, proper panicky."

"I can't let you out just to speak to him Louis."

"Please, he looks like he's about to have an anxiety attack." Louis begged.

"5 minutes. Go on." She sighed. 

"Thank you." Louis jumped up, running out to where Harry was pressed against the wall, "hey, are you okay?"

"Everyone was laughing at me."

Louis didn't say anything, instead stepping forward to hug Harry, letting him bury his head in Louis's neck as Louis rubbed his back soothingly. "It's okay love. It's okay. Don't worry."

"I'm sorry Lou, I'm such a fuck up."

"No you're not, not at all. Don't beat yourself up about it. It's alright. Don't worry love." Louis moved his hand up to Harry's hair, twisting the curls around his finger.

The teacher looked outside, beckoning for Louis to come in, but Louis just held up 5 fingers with a pleading look.

They huffed with a pointed look, before giving a small nod and returning to the classroom.

"You good babe?"

Harry felt his tummy flutter at the name, looking up with a small smile, "I'm okay."

"Well I've got to go back into class but I'll see you after class yeah?"

"Yeah." Harry nodded, "where shall I meet you?"

"Outside your classroom?"

"Mhm, that sounds good."

//

"Harold, are you ready for our date?" Louis asked from the other side of the door.

Harry nodded from the bathroom, where he was trying to fix his hair, before he realised Louis couldn't see him.

"Yeah, I look a bit of a mess though." Harry admitted with a frown as he stepped out of the room.

"No you don't. You look beautiful."

Harry smiled down to the ground, taking Louis's outstretched hand. "Where are we going?"

"Secret." Louis tapped his nose with his spare hand, "c'mon, let's go."

"Okay."

The pair walked through the door, swinging their hands as they walked through a nearby field. 

"Lou, why are we in a field? You're not gonna kill me are you?"

"Hmm." Louis pretended to think, "maybe, maybe not."

"You better not."

"Ah, here we are." Louis grinned, looking at what Niall had set up earlier. "Voilà."

Harry gasped, looking around. A blanket lay on the ground, food spread out across it and unlit candles, a lighter next to them.

"Lou...this is amazing." Harry threw himself at Louis, hugging him tightly, "it's wonderful. Thank you so much."

"I'm glad you like it."

Louis sat down, patting the spot next to him for Harry to join. Harry obliged, sitting cross legged next to Louis and leaning against him slightly. Louis smiled and wrapped an arm around Harry, pulling him closer and rubbing his arm lightly. Harry rested his head on Louis's shoulder, reaching for a slice of pizza.

"D'you think your mum knows about us?" Harry asked him.

"Probably. She always seems to know everything. Even before I do."

"Bet she's a psychic." Harry giggled. 

"Oh, one hundred percent."


	35. Chapter 35

After a few more dates Louis was ready to ask Harry to he his boyfriend, properly. 

He got his mum to help him make a cake, as he didn't fancy on asking Harry by giving him food poisoning. The cake was chocolate, Harry's favourite, and in very messy icing letters, it said 'be my bf?' with a heart after it.

"So, Louis, when were you going to tell me?" Jay smirked from the table.

"Umm, wasn't? We assumed you'd just know so yeah."

"Well I did know but I would've preferred it if you embarrassed yourself by trying to tell me."

"Mum, that's mean." Louis pouted, "how did you know anyway?"

"I saw you two holding hands when you came back from that walk where I assume you told him how you feel."

"That's stalking." 

"No it's not, it's using my eyes to look out the window."

"Oh."

"I'm back!" Harry called out as he walked through the front door.

"Do not come in here." Louis said quickly, slipping out and shutting the door behind him.

"Why not?" Harry frowned.

"Surprise." Louis shrugged, Harry raising an eyebrow.

"Right. Well hi."

"Hi love, can I have a hug?" Louis opened his arms.

Harry nodded with a grin, snuggling against Louis.

"Alright Harry?" Jay waved, smirking at the pair, "the girls and I are going out."

"Okay. I'll see you later." Harry smiled.

//

"Harold my love, come here." Louis called, dishing up their dinner. "Dinner's ready."

"You make it sound like we're an old married couple when you call me that." Harry giggled as he walked into the dining room, "woah, what's the special occasion?" He looked around at the candles.

"Nothing, I just wanted it to be nice for you."

"That's so sweet." Harry sat down.

"Guess what."

"What?"

"I said guess dumbo." Louis flicked him.

"Umm, you...umm, I don't know?"

"I made dinner! It's chicken stuffed with mozzarella, wrapped in Parma ham with a side of mash." Louis stated proudly.

"Oh my god I'm so proud of you." Harry held his hand up for a high five.

"Now hurry up and eat it, I have a surprise."

//

"Close your eyes Harry!" Louis called out, grabbing the cake from the kitchen side and taking it to the table. "Right, open."

"It's upside down." Harry squinted, trying to work out what the messy writing said.

"Oh, hold on." Louis span it around.

"Be...my...bp? What's a bp?"

"Oh for god's sake. That's an f."

"Bf. Be my bf. Boyfriend!?" Harry looked up excitedly, "you want me to be your boyfriend?"

"Of course I do, is that a yes?" 

"Yes, yes, yes. Absolutely." Harry jumped up, grabbing Louis's face and kissing him. "Sorry, sorry, I'm just so happy."

"Oh my god, thank god. I was so scared you'd say no." Louis hugged him tightly.

"I think you're delusional. I really like you you know."

"I'm glad of that because I really like you too."

Harry hugged him tightly, pressing his face into Louis's neck as Louis returned the hug. "Y'know, you make me the happiest I've been in years." Harry murmured. "Thank you."

Louis didn't know what to say, so just hugged Harry tighter.

//

"Harry!? Oh my god, thank god it's you." Harry looked up from his phone to see Gemma rushing over to him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I've been looking for you, uncle John wasn't home. The neighbours said they hadn't seen either of you in a while. Did you move house?"

"Not exactly." Harry frowned.

"What happened? Where are you living? Can I come back with you and talk?"

"Um, okay." This certainly wasn't how he'd expected his day to go.

"Where are you living?"

"With Louis." Harry stated, Gemma looking incredibly confused. "My boyfriend." Harry added with a slight blush.

"You have a boyfriend!? Since when?" Gemma squealed excitedly, gripping Harry's shoulder to stop him, "oh my god, can I meet him? What else have I missed?"

"Um, we've been going on dates for a little over a month and he asked me to be his boyfriend the other day. And you'll probably meet him, I think you met him before though. And you've missed quite a lot."

"Seems it."

Harry opened the front door, Jay greeting him. "Um, this is my sister, Gemma. You've met her before briefly, um,is it okay if she comes in? I need to talk to her." He explained.

"Of course it is love, it's so lovely to meet you again Gemma. Tea?"

"Oh, yes please." She smiled, nodding her head.

"And for you Harry?"

"If that's okay. Where's Lou?"

"He's just in the living room, I'll clear him out if you'd like."

"It's alright, I'd like him to stay with us." Gemma followed Harry to the living room, watching with a smile as he sat next to his boyfriend, leaning against him. She sat in the chair opposite, looking at him intently.

"So what've I missed? Why aren't you at the house? Where's uncle John?"

"Um...uncle John, well, he hurt me...quite a lot, he was abusive..." Harry bit his lip, playing with Louis's hands. Gemma didn't know he had tried to kill himself but he didn't know how to tell her, or even whether he should tell her. "Um, he kicked me out."

"Oh my god, are you joking? Jesus Christ, why didn't you say anything to me?"

"Because he would've hurt me if he found out. And I didn't want to burden you. If I said something I'd either have to live with you, which isn't what you'd want, or go into care, which I couldn't do."

"I'm so sorry, I should've been there for you. I should've realised." She murmured, her baby brother had been abused by someone she trusted, and someone he should've been able to trust too.

"Nobody realised Gem, no-one knew. It's not your fault."

"But you didn't want to go back to him that day I saw you, I thought, I don't know what I thought."

"It's okay." Harry told her, "honestly. I'm safe now, that's all that matters."

"Have you told the police about him?"

"Yeah, that's why he's not there. They arrested him a few weeks ago. Lou got evidence."

"How?"

"Um, I was at Harry's the day he got kicked out, he told me to hide under the table and I started recording when I heard him hurting Harry."

"Oh god." She muttered.

"Um, also I'm seeing a therapist. To help with my anxiety and depression and stuff."

"Stuff being?"

"He payed men to um, to try n you know." 

"Fuck. Fucking hell. Harry, I'm going to get an apartment nearby, okay? I want to be there for you."

"Okay." He offered her a small smile, "that sounds good."

"Are you going to stay for dinner? Mum won't mind." Louis asked.

"If you're sure she won't mind, then absolutely."


	36. Chapter 36

"I can't believe we made it." Harry grinned as he stared into Louis's eyes, leaning against him.

"Me neither babe." Louis smiled, resting his forehead against Harry's. "I'm so proud of us. I'm so proud of you."

"I'm so glad we can finally escape this hell hole." Harry pulled away slightly, looking back at the school.

They had just got their results from their exams and both boys had passed with good grades, as had the rest of their group.

"Your mum would be so proud of you as well darlin'." Louis muttered, Harry hugged Louis tightly, burying his head in Louis's neck as he gave a watery smile.

Niall bounded up to them, waiting for them to pull apart before joining the hug, "we fucking made it! And we're all going to the same college so we don't have to split up. Where are Liam and Zayn?" He looked around, soon spotting them and dragging them over. 

"Alright?" Zayn smiled, "well done."

"You too mate." Louis grinned, "and you Liam."

"Eleanor's glaring at you." Liam raised his eyebrows.

Louis turned to look at her, "let's go talk to her."

"Louis, is that really necessary?" Harry pouted. 

"Mhm, come on babe." Louis grabbed Harry's hand, beckoning for the others to follow. "So, Eleanor, how are you?" He asked with a fake smile.

"What do you want?" She spat, scanning the group slowly.

"Just to say hello."

"Alright, well you can fuck off now." She waved them away.

"Rude. You were the one glaring at us in the first place. May I ask why?"

"Because you and Harry look fucking gay."

Louis groaned and threw his head back, "we are gay Eleanor. We're literally dating. And that's not even an insult."

"God, get it out of your little head that you're not fucking gay. You dated me!"

"Maybe, Eleanor, just maybe, you're the reason I'm gay. Put me off girls for life, you did." 

"You're such a dick."

"No, try again."

"What?"

"I like dick. I'm not a dick." He told her, Harry covering his mouth as he let out a giggle, Louis nudging his shoulder gently with a smirk.

The other three watched in amusement as Eleanor's face screwed up.

"You're so fucking gross."

"Calm down love, no different from you."

"I'm not fucking gay."

"No but you love dick." Zayn laughed, "you'd literally beg Louis for it all the time."

"No I wouldn't." Her face grew red.

"You did, I remember." Harry added quietly.

"Shut the fuck up freak." 

"Hey, don't talk to him like that." Niall frowned.

"Whatever."

"You're literally probably not going to see him again after this so there's no harm in being nice for a bit." Liam stated. "Somehow you've managed to make it through school being a bitch so give it a rest."

"Well at least I made it without trying to kill myself." 

"Fuck off." Harry mumbled, "it's none of your business."

"Oh look, gay boy has a voice all of a sudden."

"I'm just fed up people being mean to me because I'm different to them. So what if I like boys? So do half the people in the school, I'm not any different. And so what if I don't talk? It's not my fucking fault, and if I do everyone makes a big deal out of it or makes fun of me. It's not fair." He rambled, gripping Louis's hand tightly, "it's not fucking fair."

"Go Harry!" Niall whooped with a grin, "preach!"

Louis smiled at him proudly, running a thumb over the back of Harry's hand.

Eleanor just rolled her eyes, storming off.

"Bye!" Louis called after her before turning to Harry, "I'm proud of you darlin'."

"Thank you Lou." Harry breathed in deeply, leaning back into him with a sigh. "I shouldn't have said that though."

"Yes you should've. I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself."

"Me too." Liam agreed, the others nodding.

//

"Harry, you ready love?" Louis stood outside his door.

"Yep." He opened the door, linking his hand with Louis's and swinging them gently.

"Ew, can you two keep your hands eachother for one second?" Lottie scrunched her nose up. "It's gross."

"Leave them alone Lotts, it's sweet." Jay scolded, "you'll be like that one day."

"She's like that already." Louis snorted, "she's like it with whatever his name is at the minute."

"Jack. And no we're not."

"You so are." Louis retorted, flicking her arm. "Anyway, we're going out to get drunk now so goodbye."

"Um, Louis Tomlinson. You are not."

"We are." He grinned cheekily, "aren't we Haz?" He nudged him as Harry giggled.

"Speak for yourself."

"Oi, don't stitch me up on this one."

"Sorry Lou." He fought back a smile. 

"Let's go before we get ranted at." Louis pretended to whisper although he knew his mum could hear, "bye mother!"

"Bye Louis darling, bye Harry love." She laughed, "don't drink too much."

"Of course not."

//

"Niall, pass us the beer will ya?" Louis put his hand out for Niall to chuck it to him. "Haz, you want one?"

"Please." Harry nodded. "Wait, no Lou, come back." He pouted when Louis stood up to pick up the beer Niall had decided, for some reason, to roll instead.

"Blame Niall for that."

"Niall, Louis was comfy." He frowned.

"Sorry for stealing your husband."

Liam chuckled as Harry's face grew slightly red.

"Boyfriend." He corrected.

"Same thing." Zayn shrugged, "you're basically married."

"You'll definitely get married in the future." Liam added, "and if we're not invited to the wedding I'm not speaking to you ever again."

"You'll be invited don't worry." Louis laughed, sitting back on the log and putting an arm around Harry's shoulder as Harry leaned into him. "You cold babe?" Louis frowned as Harry began to shiver slightly, snuggling into him further.

"Bit." Harry mumbled.

Louis moved away from Harry, quickly shrugging off his jacket before wrapping it around Harry's shoulders and hugging him again, pressing a small kiss to the top of his head.

Harry closed his eyes with a content smile, allowing Louis to play with his curls.

"Whipped." Niall coughed with a smirk, Louis flipping him off, but not before sending a fond look down to Harry.

"Shut up Nialler." Harry murmured sleepily.

"Do you want to go to sleep love? You're tired. I'll wake you up later." He whispered, Harry nodding.

After 10 minutes or so Harry had fallen asleep, a small pout on his face.

"He looks cute when he sleeps." Liam noted.

"Not creepy at all. But back off." Louis shot him a glare.

"Don't worry mate, he's all yours. We know how much you love him." Zayn chuckled causing Louis to look down to Harry again.

"I do love him. I love him so much."


End file.
